Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Monday, January 17, 2011

Swiffer Police Arrest Ohio Man For Mopping Violation. Invokes Memory of Judge John Roll


By Winsip Custer CPW News Service

Pima County Arizona Sheriff Clarence Dupnik said that Judge John Roll was in “the wrong place at the wrong time,” when Roll, 63, had come to a constituent meeting at a supermarket to say hello to U.S. Representative Gabriella Giffords, who was wounded by the same person accused of killing Roll on Jan. 8, 2011.
After attending mass at the nearby downtown church, Roll would have gone home to “do the floors” as was his custom every Saturday, said Dupnik.
John J. Kleener of Boynton, Ohio does his own floors, too.  Kleener was arrested on Saturday, January 15th for unauthorized alteration of his Procter & Gamble Swiffer Mop.  "They thought that after Bechtel had tried to lease rain to the Bolivians that they could get away with that crap here," said Kleener's attorney Jesse Hardin James.  "Bechtel, with the help of the World Bank was going to prohibit Bolivians from collecting rain water from their gutter's downspouts," said James.  "All my client did was add Pine Sol to his Swiffer mop made by Procter & Gamble and damned if they didn't arrest him for it.  His wife's best friend works for Procter & Gambles and told her supervisor about Kleener's alteration of their mop.  They were afraid that if his simple alterations got out they'd lose sales and market share, but damned if I can figure out what violation they're holding him on.  He saves about four bucks by not buying their refills and by refilling their bottles himself," said Kleener.
Kleener explained how a Swifter bottle has a rubber gasket in the lid and the lid cannot be unscrewed to add your own inexpensive Pine Sol cleaner.  "There are two prongs like hypodermic needles that pierce the unscrew-able lid's rubber gasket and provide both a liquid-way and air-way for smooth operation of the battery powered pump.  If you take the bottle off and refill it by cutting a hole in the bottle you'll never be able to realign the two needle holes and so you'll have four holes.  That means no suction.   You have to NOT remove the bottle and simply cut a hole in it from the top while it's still on the mop handle.  Fill it and then plug the hole with a stopper. I buy a hand held dish brush that holds  detergent and use its stopper.  I buy them for a dollar and use the air-tight stopper on the Swifter. It's simple," said Kleener.

"So should my client be arrested for that?" asked Mr. James, Kleener's attorney.

"When I heard that Judge John Roll was killed by that nut cake in Tucson they said he had just stopped by to see Gabby Giffords before he went home to 'do his floors like he did every Saturday.'  That was certainly tragic, but the way I feel today is that at least he doesn't have to worry about his damn floors anymore, but I confess I wondered if he had yet discovered my trick of refilling the Procter and Gamble Swifter bottles or whether he just used a plain mop and a bucket of water and Pine Sol.  After my arrest I was feeling so low that I just wanted to trade places with him," said Mr. Kleener.

This reporter tried to contact Afsaneh M. Beschloss, the past Chief Investment Officer for the World Bank to see if there were plans for Procter and Gamble and Bechtel to attempt to corner the mop bottle market as Bechtel and the World Bank tried to do with water in Bolivia, but Mrs. Beechloss was not available citing her need to help her husband to rewrite U.S. history in ways that hides these connections.

For more on water, the World Bank and Bechtel see...

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