Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Larry David Is Really Woody Allen. Concatenation Of Evidence Undeniable Says Retired NY Detective


by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

Retired Brooklyn detective, Sam Rosellini, following a hunch that he has wanted to pursue for over fifteen years, was finally able to put closure on his private passion...proving that Larry David is really Woody Allen.  "Yep,  solving murders kept me from spending any serious time on it while I was with the NYPD, but since retirement I have been able to pull it all together.  No doubt about it, Zelig was not fiction.  Woody Allen is Larry David.  It was all in the probability tables.  Serial killers leave certain tell-tale clues that tell you it's them.  The same is true with comedic geniuses like Woody Allen.  Two like him don't come along at the same time with the same thought patterns, and sentence structures and facial features."   

"But Larry David is tall and Woody Allen is short," I said.  "How do you explain that?"  "Shoe lifters," said Rosellini.  "Allen is David.  Period.  It all came together with a single line in the Woody Allen movie Whatever Works.  "Whatever Works is a Larry David movie,"  I said.  "The hell it is," said Rosellini.  "That's a Woody Allen script if there ever was one.  You know it instantly when you compare it with a line from a Woody Allen movie....like 'I don't mind dying I just don't want to be there when it happens' with one from Larry David's....'my life is a delicate balance and as long as I can keep it that way I don't want to end it.'"

I asked Detective Rosellini if he used the same investigative techniques in researching his Zelig theory as in tracking down murderers and how that had worked for him as a detective.  "Great," he said. " It cut my workload in half."

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