Steve Martin Offers Service To Secular Candidate In Egypt's September Election. Mel Gibson Being Recruited By Muslim Brotherhood

The Power of Hollywood to Win Hearts and Minds

Actor Steve Martin
offers to help secular
Egyptian candidate.

by Winsip Custer

Actor Steve Martin says that no one is better prepared to help the next President of Egypt to take control of the hearts and minds of the troubled nation.  "I have had a great deal of experience in helping political candidates solidify their messages and just like the U.S. in its infancy, Egypt, one of the oldest nations on the planet, is in its infancy state of embracing a secular government that takes the needs of all people to heart.  That gives us all hope, so I have my costume. I'm ready to roll for progress in Egypt that honors the memory of Anwar Sadat and what he was trying to do there," said Mr. Martin from the front porch his Hollywood home.  "How is it that it took us Americans 30 years to understand the wool that's been pulled over our eyes, too," he said.

Actor Mel Gibson
being pursued by
Muslim Brotherhood
for his support.

 Meanwhile, the Muslim Brotherhood is trying to recruit Hollywood actor, Mel Gibson, whose father was a well-known Holocaust-denier.  "We really want Mr. Gibson to be the spokesperson for our candidate in September," said Mulahdabanni El Farwazi, a spokesperson for the secretive Muslim Brotherhood as we talked in the back of a cab outside Gibson's home not far from Mr. Martin's residence.  "We figure that if Braveheart had the effect of helping the Scots gain their own independent parliament, that he can help us institute Sharia Law in Egypt if we promise to kick Israel's butt."  Jewish comedian Larry David who was walking his dog, an Irish Wolfhound named "Bomber", stopped alongside the parked cab, but was unavailiable to give his opinion of Mr. El Farwazi's visit to Mr. Gibson's home.  Mr. David did say, however, that he came to this same location outside Mr. Gibson's home each night about the same time.  "Hurry up Bomber.  Hurry up," he said as Bomber pooped at Mr. Gibson's front gate.  I offered Mr. David a 40 quart plastic garbage bag from the back seat of the cab, but he said Bomber never uses them.

Larry and Bomber

Mr. Gibson, as it turned out, was out of town filming the remake of Shane with Alan Ladd Jr. whose father played the part of Shane in the celebrated 1953 version of the film.  Gibson and Ladd recruited Morgan Freeman to play the part of Jack Palance the "No good dirty Yankee," who kills one of Shane's Confederate farmer friends.  Next year, Ladd and Gibson plan a remake of W.D. Griffith's Birth of a Nation, but refused to give Morgan Freeman the part of Henry B. Walthall.  Distribution of both films will be handled by Regal Cinema, the movie theater company purchased by UTIMCO under directions from it's President, Tom Hicks, former partner with George Walker Bush in the Texan baseball franchise.  UTIMCO, the University of Texas' privatized investment program that invests heavily in defense contracting and petro-chemical businesses, also handled the distribution of The Passion of the Christ, which Mr.Farwazi felt was especially valuable in gaining anti-Jewish sympathies around the world and indirectly taking the spotlight off of the Egyptian version of the KKK, the Muslim Brotherhood.

For Jack Palance's gunslinging performance as the "low-down, lyin' Yankee" in Shane see
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsskPPgkIe4

For Steve Martin's abilities to inspire the Egyptian people see....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgTPH5y1-ZI