Cummerbund Confessions
Lessons From the 2008 NRA Convention
Television personality Glenn Beck at NRA Convention wearing skull and bones cummerbund |
10.16.2010 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service
Glenn Beck appeared at the 2008 NRA Convention with his wife. He wore a tuxedo and skull and bones cummerbund. I asked Dr. Golda McNichols Weiselman Patel, a psychiatrist from New York's Sinai Hospital to help us to understand what this symbol might mean to Mr. Beck.
"It is an odd combination is it not?" asked Patel. "Here you have between a man's belly button, the very place where he was first connected to life and his male member, the projection of his personhood and hope for the future, a symbol of piracy, death and destruction. You would have no trouble when I say that this is an extremely conflicted image at best. At worst it is something much deeper and darker. If George Clooney was wearing it I would say that it's a humorous stab at suggesting that he believes he is a lady killer along the lines of Edward Lear's famous Indian Poem, The Cummerbund."
The poem says...
Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware!
Nor sit out late at night,--
Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come,
And swallow you outright.
"And of course Glenn knows that compared to George Clooney, or even to Danny Divito, he's not a lady killer. I believe that he wore the cummerbund to send a message to his lovely wife. A message, not so subliminal, that is too painful to talk about."
I asked the good doctor what that message might be saying.
"More than likely he's saying 'Help, I think I have a horribly enlarged prostate.'"
Dr. Patel continued "I suggest a PSA test and if the results come back high, that he check into Massachusetts General Hospital where he can receive the new proton therapy which was perfected at the Seventh Day Adventist Medical Center at Loma Linda, California and which MIT and Massachusetts General are now developing with venture capital from the Robert Blanton venture capital group in Fort Worth, Texas. Mr. Beck should not have any trouble affording this procedure which avoids, for the majority of men, the painful choice between incontinence or sexual dysfunction."
I asked Dr. Patel to explain how a cutting edge nuclear medicine that might help Mr. Beck was developed at a church related hospital, but was now being refined by MIT and Mass General with help from venture capitalists in the private sector. "I suspect that as with many of the cutting edge programs that need tax relief to get going, they are then swallowed up by the capitalists after someone else has taken the initial risks," said Patel.
"Is this a subtle form of socialism mixed with the free market capital venture?" I asked. "It would seem so, but the tension will come if the technology is not available to the masses when that technology is developed by a church that professes love and compassion for all people," said Dr. Patel, who went on to say that if the expanded proton therapy helps men to stay sexually and socially active that women like Mrs. Beck will be leading the charge to bring the costs down for everyone. Especially if she has a new husband," said Dr. Patel who was caught up in a rolling belly laugh while inserting, "who doesn't wear juvenile pirate symbols next to his ding-a-ling."
No comments:
Post a Comment