Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Thursday, October 7, 2010

David Blaine Could Have Plugged BP Well In Twenty Minutes

Blaine's Offer of Help Refused by White House

British Petroleum Lawyers to Sue Rahm Emmanuel for Negligence

10.07.2010 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

Washington DC- Attorney's for British Petroleum are suing Rahm Emmanuel, White House Chief of Staff, who is leaving the Obama administration to run for the mayor's seat of Chicago.

"He's leaving because he knows that he stonewalled Mr. Blaine's offer to seal the BP well the week of the accident," said Ferguson McNeally, an attorney for the embattled British Petroleum Company.

"It's a case of pure negligence," said McNeally.

 Mr. Blaine, whose ability to levitate and pass through walls is the stuff of legend, was asked how he would conduct such a difficult undersea operation. "It's basically the same as the other feats that have proven my super human powers," he said.

"Can you be more specific?" I asked Blaine.

"How do you explain gravity or radiation?" he asked me. "I would have completed the capping of the well in about twenty minutes," said Blaine who also said that his offer was free of charge and with no strings attached.

"Mr. Rahm Emmanuel would not return our phone calls when we left the offer at the White House the week after the incident," said Blaine. "I could have done it with or without their permission, but why? What greater purpose would that have served? And for all I knew BP, or TransOcean, or Halliburton may have sued me for trespassing," said Mr. Blaine who pulled an ace of spades out of my left ear while changing it to ace of diamonds right before my eyes.

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