Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Wall Street Bull Takes Improper Dump

Disgruntled Minnesota Vikings Fan Delivers Message to Wall Street Brokers

9.11.10 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

"I might not have noticed it except for the sign and the flies," said Goldman Sacks secretary Marge Leonard as she held her nose.

The sign atop the six foot pile of cattle manure directly behind the iconic Wall Street bronze bull had been delivered Friday morning between 2:00-2:15 a.m. by Virgil G Elkins a dairy farmer from St. Paul, Minnesota.

"One minute he was in the barn shoveling manure and the next minute he was gone," said his brother and business partner Leroy Elkins.  "It all got to him... the loss of half the value of his 401k and all.  He had taken everyone's advice after the bailout, pulled his money out and put it in a CD  after it lost half its value and wouldn't you know it?  The one stock that he had been heavily invested in shot up in spite of the drop and he lost out on a doubling of its value.  He just cracked.  Drove off yellin' 'I'll be back in a couple of days'.  Next thing I know we're getting a call from the NYPD."

Signs atop the pile of smelly excrement read "Thank you GWB, Henry Paulson and the rest of you SOB's".  

"We caught him on the New Jersey side of the Holland Tunnel," said officer Marcus Zambrini.  "He really thought that he could deliver that load with nobody noticing and when he was caught he said 'I'm a dairy farmer from Minnesota and we all know out there that it takes sxxx to make things grow.  It's usually spread around a little bit so as not to burn the grass."

"Do you know what he meant by that?" officer Zambrini was asked.  "Haven't a clue," he said, "but he didn't have a doggie bag big enough to take it back home.  The judge fined him $120,000 for code violations.  He figured it was equal to the fines on six hundred dogs."

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