Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Thursday, September 9, 2010


Halliburton Chief Economist Reports New 
Gusher Down Reaganomics

by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

Ms. Hally Halli Burton, the Princeton educated chief economist for Halliburton Corporation, has announced that the company is supporting a vastly improved form of Regananomics called "Gusher Down".
"Trickle Down" won't do it anymore said Burton. "With the US Economy in a stall we need a rapid infusion of venture capital into the system. With our fear that governmental stimulus programs will lead to wanton waste and dependence on public welfare, we offer our alternative . Halliburton is preparing free classes at Halliburton University, its new campus in Houston, Texas adjacent to the James A. Baker Center for Public Policy, with training in entreprenurial leadership and business development for US citizens making under $200,000 per year and who want to become independent business developers like those who helped to redevelop Iraq following the 9/11 US incursion. Promising business planspresented by graduates will be funded through Halliburton's CSP or Corporate Stimulus Plan."

We asked Ms. Burton how this program will differ from those at schools like Wharton, Harvard or Thunderbird. She said "they leave a lot of stuff out. We'll teach them our time-honored tried-and-true methods of acquiring non-competitive no-bid contracts from the Federal Government," she said.
"But doesn't that lead to the same type of dependence you say students learn without your program?" I asked. Ms. Burton responded, "Why yes, but it will also mean that the new governmentally funded plan will be owned by us."
"How does that differ from Socialism and what about the time-honored Sherman Anti-Trust legislation?" I asked Ms. Burton. 
"Our founder created the oil recovery process known as hydraulic fracturing. The earth's substrates were fractured to allow better recovery of oil deposits. In a similar way we are going to take the massive profits we have made and hidden just beneath the surface of our financial reports to flow freely back into the economy with the HalliburtonSmall Business Interest Free Entreprenurial Support Program. That's all I have to say," she concluded.

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