TexAss Choppers Brings Radical New Design
9.23.2010 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service
Johnny Burl Ivan Burleson the award winning motorcycle manufacturer from Cut and Shoot, Texas is striking out once again in a new direction.
TexAss Chopper changes hog bottoms to heavenly bodies |
"Our best advertising will be the big butts on the Tuetals and Jesse James," said Burleson. "Harley's have a great image among broad bottomed pothole pounders, but the TexAss Chopper has a totally different image. Slim, trimmed and rock solid," Burleson boasted.
We asked Mr. Burleson to explain the secret of his revolutionary design. "The TexAss Chopper will do just that, chop inches off the biggest butts and allow you to eat all the Texas barbecue you want in the meantime. What's brilliant about my business plan is that we're backed by Jesse James' old girlfriend, Sandra Bullock in Austin. You like how she looks? Well then thank TexAss Choppers," said Burleson who when confronted with the price tag of $21,000 per chopper said, "You try and get the Teutals to sell you one of their's for that price. Besides, we're financing every unit sold at 2% interest for 72 months and we're taking in used exercise equipment as collateral. Beat that!" he said with his signature Burl Burleson swagger. "You can apply for financing at www.texasschoppers.com," said Burleson.
When asked what besides the special exercise springs set his choppers apart from the other choppers, Burleson said "in six months you'll be riding down the highway wanting to wear no pants, but unlike the Teutals and Jesse James you'll be proud of it."
Burleson is also working on a new business plan for a padded recliner that he claims is "excellent for watching television while doing five hundred pound leg presses."
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