Pastors Going To The Dogs
by Winsip Custer CPW News Service
9/1/2010
With the advent of ever increasing vitriol between religious groups, Muslims and Jews, Christians and Muslims, Hindus and Muslims, Catholics and Protestants, Mrs. Gruber's 4th Floor Bible Study versus Ms. Ferdlinger's 2nd Floor Contemporary Christian Issues Class at Central Christian Church in downtown Longbeach, the pastor is turning for help to a new source of inspiration....the Dog Whisperer.
"When Reverend Roxbury asked me to apply what I have learned from my dog pack to what he is working with at his "church pack" the comparisons weren't at first obvious. But then, I woke up in the middle of the night with what I thought was sunlight coming from the corner of the bedroom. A voice spoke. "Help Reverend Roxbury, for I have done all I can do," the Dog Whisperer said. "So I called Reverend Roxbury and offered to help him."
Cesar Millan
The Dog Whisper
According to Roxbury the comparisons of Mrs. Gruber to Cesar Millan's yellow-coated pit bull are astounding. "She came to me from a broken home," said Cesar. "She was unappreciated and so she used threatening tactics to control her space. She could be sweet and placid one minute then lash out with the most threatening behaviors if she felt she lost control, just like Mrs. Gruber when those two new couples left her Bible class for Ms. Ferdlinger's contemporary Christian issues class. Cesar said "My pit would back the threatening dogs into the corner and hold them there unless I intervened. Well that had to stop," said Millan.
"We got the Buildings and Grounds Committee whose chairman is Clem Laedbeck.... who's a lot like Cesar's Basset Hound... to help out," said the preacher. "Clem moved Ms. Ferdlinger's class across the church parking lot to the Boy Scout hut. Meanwhile, Mrs. Amanda Handiller, who is much like Cesar's Doberman... she is also our Food Service Committee chairperson...intervened by placing a plate of cookies at the welcoming table of Mrs.Gruber's Bible Class each Sunday morning. That had a pacifying effect. So far things are working out just fine and Cesar and I are considering hosting a national seminar for pastors of problem churches," said Rev. Roxbury.
When asked if he noticed any other changes since his unusual partnership with the Dog Whisperer began he said, "Why yes, I began to consider changing the 'passing of the peace' during our worship service' to 'Let Us Sniff Together," said Reverend Roxbury.
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