Child's Bistro Belly Flops

Snapper Cafe Closes After 45 Days

Family and Friends Blame Unusual Menu

9.29.2010 By Winsip Custer WCP News Service

Jean Claude Lemaux Child, who claims to be the nephew of author of the French cooking classic Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Julia Child, has opened and closed his first restaurant, the Aimer Rouge Snapper, in Montreal, Canada, all within forty five days. Family and friends blamed Child's unusual menu and rigid insistence that he would never waver from his decision to create a restaurant where his passion for Red Snapper could be showcased.


Julia at the stove where Jean Claude
says he learned her finest recipes

 "I have always loved Red Snapper," said Jean Claude, "and I think that others should love it too. If that is wrong, C'est la vie. Aunt Julia always said 'good food is like good sex. The more you get the more you want.' And, of course, she had a profound effect on my career choices in life, but I kept coming back to Snapper. Especially after her book Cooking With Julia and Jacques came out in 1999 when she described her poached Snapper...."The flesh is no longer squashy and raw; it has taken on texture, and is lightly springy to the touch. When just done the juices have swelled in the flesh and are ready to escape; you can begin to smell cooking fish. That is the moment you are waiting for. A little longer and the juices will have left the flesh; you have overcooked your fish, it will have stiffened and the flesh will flake," said Jean Claude reading from the book as if escaping to another world.

I asked Jean Claude why he did not include Julia's poached Snapper on the menu. "No special reason," he said. "I don't have a recipe named after my Mother, Gwen, nor my Grand Mother Bridget. You can't always do everything, even if you might want to," he concluded.

Jean Claude's brother, Pierre Rousseau Child, was more circumspect in his criticism of the restaurant's fare. "Something just didn't strike the right nerve with about three quarters of our patrons.... and we really can't call them 'patrons' if they didn't come back. Couples came and went, but most didn't return. Well some did, but they usually had late night reservations and had been drinking before they arrived and they were good wine buyers and fun people and good tippers," said Pierre. "Some single men enjoyed the dishes and atmosphere and our wine list was one of the finest in Montreal. Some of the men would actually order two or three of our entree's on a single night, but not even that could sustain us and so we just had to close in order to regroup and redefine our mission and menu," said Pierre who pointed out the overwhelming consistency of the menu in reflecting Jean Claude's love of Snapper which included:

Cafe Aimer Rouge Snapper

Menu

Snapper Diana..........Baked Snapper Almondine with.............in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Suzanne......Sauteed Snapper with capers and............ in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Betty Lou....Grilled Snapper with lemon and lime.........in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Wendy........Flash fried Snapper lightly..........................in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Jill...............Stuffed Snapper with crab and cucumber stuffed.....in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Jacqueline....Snapper au grautin with French...................in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Adrienne......Snapper grilled over oak embers and stuffed with.....in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Sophie.........Snapper with chopped celantro in a white cream........in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Frances.......Snapper lightly breaded and baked with.............in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Renee'.........Snapper Provalonem, stuffed with....................in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Patricia........Snapper marinated in grapefruit and stuffed with........in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Colleen........Snapper with chives and pistacios in a......................in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Cheryl..........Snapper with eggplant and...................................in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Angelina.......Snapper and shrimp in an asparagus and basil roux and....in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Carol............Snapper stuffed calamari and mushrooms and........in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Sarah............Snapper stuffed with Spanish olives and................in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Janie..............Snapper baked with apples and .......................in a halo of angel hair pasta
Snapper Mary Jane.....Snapper and clams with mandarin oranges............in a halo of angel hair pasta

Jean Claude spoke about the changes he sees for the future of his restaurant. "I believe that I was short sighted in not putting in my recipe for rump roast and perhaps ham hocks. I don't know. And, of course, they serve nicely on a bed of angel hair pasta, too. Whatever I decide it will reflect the soul of my wonderful Aunt Julia."

When asked why he would be so focused on a fish which is not indigenous to either France nor Montreal, the Red Snapper, and a fish which has no known name in the French language, he said "I just like Snapper.  I thought I was thinking outside the box.  Apparently not."

President's Comments Not Kosher According to Michael Savage

Obama Not Christian By Birth

9/28/2010 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

Michael Savage, the San Francisco based talk show host played a clip on his Tuesday, September 28th radio show of President Barak Obama saying "I am a Christian by Choice." Savage followed the clip by saying that given Obama's questionable background and the "birthers" claim that he is Muslim and not a Christian, that Mr. Obama has invited a potential fire storm of criticism.

The polling firm of Cotch, Crevitts, and Winkelmandenhoff of Miami made forty three hundred phone calls to Americans in the hours following Obama's remark with the simple questions...."Are you a Christian? Yes or No?" followed by "Were you born that way or did you become one?" Of those who responded 77.52% claimed to be Christians. Of that group 100% claimed they were not born that way. 50% of that group indicated that they did not believe that a person can be born a Christian.

We talked with Dr. Sibley G. Worthington of the Geneva School of Theology in Wharten, Maine. "This goes to the very heart of the definition of Christianity," said Dr. Worthington. "By definition an Orthodox Jew is born into the faith and must have a Jewish mother while the Reformed Jews accept an individual's conversion into the faith. Christians may baptize infants, but they rarely talk about being born into the Christian faith, because of Jesus' counsel that one must be 'born again'. Obama's remark was perfectly Kosher," said Dr. Worthington. "I mean perfectly legitimate," he said correcting his slip up.

Dos Equis Model Moves Family To Tiny Cabin

Goldsmith More Interesting Than the Icon He Portrays
Actor Retreating From Spotlight

9.27.2010 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

Jonathan Goldsmith, the actor who has become famous for his role as the Mexican beer, Dos Equis,' The Most Interesting Man In the World, has decided to retreat from the spotlight with his new thirty-two-year-old bride and her six children by a previous marriage.

Jonathan Goldsmith

"There comes a time when the notoriety is just not enough to sustain you. So we are moving to a tiny cabin in the mountains near Durango...far from the maddening crowd," said Goldsmith who rejected Dos Equis' latest beer ad which said....

"As a selfless act of contrition and to set an example for the rest of the world he has moved his family of eight into an eight by ten foot cabin.  And they love him for it.  He is the most interesting man in the world.  Stay thirsty my friends."

Goldsmith's refusal to come out of retirement prompted Dos Equis to sign the Dali Lama and novelist Cormack McCarthy for its next ads with Goldsmith who still refused, but chuckled when they told him about the ad featuring him with the two world renowned personalities.  "The Dali Lama once paid him for spirituality lessons" and "Cormack McCarthy tried to change the name of his novel, No Country for Old Men, after meeting him, but it had already gone to press."  Goldsmith still refused to abandon his plan.

Brotherly Love and the New Michael Vick Retriever

Texas Man Beaten Sensible for Wearing Eagles Cap 
9.27.2010 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

Dr. Phillip Loving a veterinarian from Liberty, Texas wished he had made a different decision, but he's using his misfortune to make a difference. Before traveling from Houston to Denver on an American Airlines flight on July 29th he bought a new hat at the local Academy store. A Dallas Cowboy fan, he made a fateful decision to wear a different ball cap....a dark green Philadelphia Eagles' cap.

"When I was at A&M studying animal medicine I'd go skiing in Colorado and they made fun of Texans," he said. "I remember being on the chair lift at Vail and this beautiful woman from Aspen pointed at the skiers on the slope below. 'See them,' she said. They're from Texas.' I asked how she knew. She said, "they have the latest designer clothes and can't ski worth a flip. They're dangerous. Look at that guy down there,' she said pointing to an out of control skier. Then she looked at me and said 'Where are you from?' I said 'Rhode Island'. Remembering that incident at Academy I decided not to put a target on my back for my trip to Denver and just grabbed a pretty teal green Eagles cap to go with my new outfit."

It was at Denver International Airport that things went horribly wrong. "Some guy looked at my cap and said to me 'Eagles'...what are you a retard?' I told him I was Michael Vick's half brother...the veterinarian and I'm married to Dick Vermeil's sister. And what's wrong with you, ya' jackass...you don't believe in forgiveness and second chances?'"

That was when the fighting started according to ticket agent, Cecelia Wren. Two men in the ticket line joined the third and pummeled Dr. Loving. "They shredded his new outfit and stomped on his Eagles cap. Black eyes, busted lip. It was awful," she said.

"I was determined not to let a few bad apples make the historic City of Brotherly Love....a city I've never even been to, take this lying down," said Dr. Loving.

"I had been reading the book Dogs: A Startling New Understanding of Canine Origin, Behavior and Evolution by Raymond Coppinger, professor of biology at Hampshire College... and so the idea hit me. Rather than accept the fact that the Eagles were somehow tainted by the acquisition of Mr. Vick, I'd spend the rest of my life helping the Pit Bull dog to evolve into a more refined breed and I would name it the Michael Vick Retriever. Lots of dog breeds have made amazing transitions toward refinement in their quest to sit beside the human hearth. In fact," said Dr. Loving, "the point made by Raymond Coppinger is that those wolves that were able to accept humanity's refinements, lay down their fear of being eaten by humans, would evolve into dogs."

Full Metal, Dr. Loving's progenitor of the Michael
Vick Retriever

We asked Dr. Loving how long it would take to help the Pit Bull make this transition and isn't this a long-term project that he would not live to see to fruition. "Well," he said, "there are retriever breeds that are less than three hundred years old and have made the transition from one purpose and function to another quite nicely. Saint Bernard's have not always carried kegs of liquor around their necks and certain retrievers that now hunt birds were once fishing dogs that over time became gun dogs," he said.

We asked if the Michael Vick Pit Bull Retriever would be like those dogs, bringing to it's master the quail or duck or goose that had been shot in fields or wetlands. He said "No, there's already dogs that do that. I'm perfecting the breed to retrieve for it's owner a Smith and Wesson .44 caliber handgun," said Dr. Loving. "The Michael Vick Retriever will, I predict, be more famous than the Jack Russell Terrier."

Social Cognitive Therapy and Global Warming

'Lemming Lust' Found to Be Dominant Motivation in Humanity's Rush Toward Destruction

by Winsip Custer WCP News Services



Lemming (Lemmus lemmus)



Dr. Roland Rushing, whose groundbreaking work on Social Cognitive Therapy and its power to influence human development, shared his latest discovery last night in plenary session at the Nevada Psychotherapy and Behavioral Sciences Institute. Termed the Lemming Lust Phenomena or LLP, it is responsible, says Dr. Rushing, for humanity's resistance to the science of Global Warming.

"Social Cognitive Therapy looks to the power of social connections to engender changed behavior. It likewise is looked to by Madison Avenue advertising firms to influence everything from our buying habits to our selection of political candidates. Building on the work of N.E. Miller and J. Dollard in Social Cognitive Therapy, who showed us that humans learn by modeling behavior, Madison Avenue learned the significance of having high profile celebrities endorse products for maximum impact. But there is a negative impact as well," said Rushing.

"Miller and Dollard's 1941 work was then expanded by Albert Bandura who constructed an experiment entitled 'Bobo Doll Behavior: A Study of Aggression' and modeled violent behavior to children who repeated it on their doll named Bobo," said Rushing.

When asked if using children to model violent behavior was a form of child abuse, Rushing said, "Why yes, you could make that argument, but let's not follow that line of thinking here. There's more important things at stake."

"Humans have a highly developed filter that is able to weed out ingenuine modeling. For example, if Angelina Jolie models adoption of orphans on the one hand and drives a Ferrari on the other, the tendency is always toward the less alturistic value . That is what caused the housing bubble in the United States," said Rushing who admitted that both the champions of Wallstreet and Madison Avenue were responsible for pushing people in their direction of houses they could not afford, but that as consumers made their way in the direction of their initial impulse the LLP effect kicked in pushing them over the cliff of financial ruin.

"The same reaction will happen without some significant changes in human nature when it comes to Global Warming," said Rushing.

"My research was solidified right here is Las Vegas," said Rushing.

 "My wife announced that she was going to use her American Express card only because it brought with it 'reward points' that could be applied to travel and that we would save money. So we travel to some place where the prices are four times what they are when we stay at home...take Las Vegas, for example. So we fly there and spend a couple of hundered dollars a day that we cannot afford. While there she visits an old friend who has moved there and who has lost ten pounds and who's had liposuction and a face lift and who recommends that we go to, lets say, the Wynn Hotel for dinner so we can sit down by the waterfall and watch the light show. So we rationalize that we'll take the more alturistic route and walk from our hotel, Caesar's Palace, up the Strip to the Wynn to save money. We even give some of the saved cab fare to a hobo on the street and we feel good about it," said Rushing as he jestured the presentation of his gift to the man on the street.

"But on the way we buy two dresses and have two drinks that cost us twelve bucks each...with a tip. That's about thirty dollars which could have bought a big bottle of Johnny Walker Red. Now we're feeling much less alturistic. We get blisters on our feet, but that's okay because we'll buy Dr. Schols inserts at the conveniently located Walgreens pharmacy. Then we'll arrive at the Wynn Hotel to find out that there's no seating outside by the waterfall. So leaning on the LLP effect caused by the social influence of the slimmer friend, we rationalize that we will eat by the back inside wall where we can't see anything, but that the two hour wait will be worth it in spite of the $60 a plate dinner. But after an hour we decided we can get a better deal down at the Golden Nugget and that there's a free light show down there. So we take a cab downtown and eat the Kickerillo plate at the Nugget spending eighty dollars and a forty dollar round trip cab fare and now we're back up to what we would have paid at the Wynn for crappy seats and an overpriced meal."

I acknowledged my understanding of his example.

"Walking to the light show my wife pulls something in her back, but it's okay since on the way there a street vendor is selling a machine that looks like a car buffer converted into a back massager.  He gives her a massage.  She buys one.  At two hundred bucks it weighs fifteen pounds which we put in one of our bags for the flight home and the bag is now over the weight limit and so Southwest charges us an additional fifty dollars to haul it home. We arrive at our home airport to discover that the baggage handlers, angry that the bag weighs over fifty pounds, have torn off one of its wheels and ripped the side. We go to Southwest and they tell us not to overpack it next time, but there won't be a next time for that bag. It's going to the landfill. This put an additional $150 dollars into the economy with the addition of the new suitcase so that we can still  take advantage of our American Express points on our next trip to a place we cannot afford. That puts additional money into the economy, but it is going to a Chinese baggage maker, probably just down the street from the car buffer company in Peking, where the carbon emmissions are spiraling out of control," said Rushing.

"And there you have it. Leaning on the Lemming Lust Phenomena or  LLP we have just jumped off the cliff. Repeat this behavior thousands, millions of times per day around the world and you see that there is little hope that anyone will have a significant impact on Global Warming."

I asked Dr. Rushing if life in Third World and underdeveloped nations is, therefore, more in tune with the future salvation of the planet.

"No, not a all," he said. "In Togo, Africa I conducted an experiment of LLP using indigenous tribes. The LLP effect was always from the more alturistic toward the less alturistic. Naked women who saw another women with a set of ivory beads, always wanted a set of their own and were willing to forego grandma's bowl of gruel in order to acquire it," said Rushing.

"So what hope is there of reversing the LLP effect?" I asked Dr. Rushing.

"I don't know," said Rushing.  'We are like Lemmings.  But I had great fun in telling my friends to ask my wife to see her new big black vibrator that she bought from a street vendor in Vegas," he said.

New Texas Choppers To Chop up the Competition and Your Waistline

TexAss Choppers Brings Radical New Design

9.23.2010 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

Johnny Burl Ivan Burleson the award winning motorcycle manufacturer from Cut and Shoot, Texas is striking out once again in a new direction.

TexAss Chopper changes
hog bottoms to heavenly bodies

"TexAssChoppers Inc. was my brainchild," said Burleson who has rigged his new chopper line with special tension springs between the seat and footplates that's guaranteed to help both men and women increase their fitness while shrinking their posteriors.  The rider exercises as he cruises according to Burleson's claims.

"Our best advertising will be the big butts on the Tuetals and Jesse James," said Burleson.  "Harley's have a great image among broad bottomed pothole pounders, but the TexAss Chopper has a totally different image.  Slim, trimmed and rock solid," Burleson boasted.

We asked Mr. Burleson to explain the secret of his revolutionary design.  "The TexAss Chopper will do just that, chop inches off the biggest butts and allow you to eat all the Texas barbecue you want in the meantime.  What's brilliant about my business plan is that we're backed by Jesse James' old girlfriend, Sandra Bullock in Austin.  You like how she looks?  Well then thank TexAss Choppers," said Burleson who when confronted with the price tag of $21,000 per chopper said, "You try and get the Teutals to sell you one of their's for that price.  Besides, we're financing every unit sold at 2% interest for 72 months and we're taking in used exercise equipment as collateral. Beat that!" he said with his signature Burl Burleson swagger.  "You can apply for financing at www.texasschoppers.com," said Burleson.

When asked what besides the special exercise springs set his choppers apart from the other choppers, Burleson said "in six months you'll be riding down the highway wanting to wear no pants, but unlike the Teutals and Jesse James you'll be proud of it."

Burleson is also working on a new business plan for a padded recliner that he claims is "excellent for watching television while doing five hundred pound leg presses."

SPITZER AND REED RAKE MUCK

CNN REALLY RAW: Mud Slinging CNN Style


9.23.2010 by Winsip Custer WPC News Service

Ralph Reed and Elliott Spitzer joined Kate Zernike of the NY Times with Anderson Cooper on his Anderson Cooper 360 Raw program on Wednesday September 22nd. Cooper had wrestled with changing the name to 360 Really Raw.


Elliott Spitzer

 "I wanted to change the name to '360 Really Raw'," said Cooper, but my idea was overridden by the producers at CNN. That was before Reed and Spitzer took the gloves off and began attacking each other verbally, not over their political ideas, but over who had made the fastest comeback following their respective falls from grace with Reed's acceptance of payola from Jack Abramoff and Spitzer's trists with prostitutes.

"We were hoping that people would tune in to watch a possible battle between two former high profile muckrakers....one approaching the cultural decline from a legal and one from a religious viewpoint and both having fallen face first in the muck and mire. We just thought it would take a little longer for the muck to start flying," says an unnamed CNN advisor.


Ralph Reed


"It's much harder to make a comeback like this from womanizing with prostitutes," said Spitzer to which Reed responded, "Just because I was only crucified for taking Abramoff's money doesn't mean I didn't have trists with prostitutes, too. My rise from the ashes was harder," he said. While Spitzer fired back... "On a scale from one to ten I hit a nine and you're only about a seven."

Huckabee Heartless Hillbilly?

Sick Kids Like the World Trade Center Says Huckabee
9.21.2010 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

Former Presidential candidate and Baptist minister, Mike Huckabee, from Arkansas was skewered on the Ed Show on Monday, September 21st, 2010. 

Huckabee drew the analogy between pre-existing conditions for health insurance being like a property owner asking for insurance on a house that has already burned down.

Walter Rebelaid of the organization Insurance for All said, "Mike Huckabee is a heartless hillbilly.  Everyone deserves to be insured.  If the insurance companies don't like it they shouldn't have come up with the concept in the first place."

When asked what he would do if his child had a pre-existing condition and he could not secure insurance, Huckabee said "I'd pray about it."

"And if God's tells you to help your child by raising the money any way you could?" I asked.

"Like what?" said Huckabee.

"Selling moonshine," I said.

"Well, you'd go to hell," said Huckabee.

"And if I supported a law to make insurance available?"  I asked.

"You'll still go to hell," he said.

Administrator Blows Fog Horn On Healthcare Practices

9.21.2010 by Winsip Custer WPC News Service

"So you're blowing the whistle on the state of the health care industry?" I asked Steward R. Donaldson, former CEO of a large Columbia Healthcare System hospital.

"Whistle? It's more like a fog horn," he said with a quick banter.

He explained that he had come to Columbia as a hospital administrator when he was working for Hospital Corporations of America, the firm started by Tennessess Senator Dr. Thomas Frist's father. "George Bush's buddy from Texas. Richard Rainwater, had teamed up with a Texas lawyer to create Columbia which they claimed was going to become the 'Walmart of Healthcare'", said Donaldson. "Instead it became like the K-Mart of healthcare," he continued, "but not before taking us through a humiliating experience of what I call the 'rollercoaster ride down the Miracle Mile.'"

"The Miracle Mile?  Los Angeles?" I asked.
"More like the Las Vegas Strip." he said.

"The methods we employed to recruit doctors from other hospitals, many of which had to close down after our arrival, we learned in Vegas from Steven Wynn of Mirage Hotels and Resorts Int'l," he said. "And we created a mirage of financial well-being as well as heathcare well-being based on the Milton Friedman model of laisse faire and the invisible hand of capitalism creating the basic illusion," said Donaldson.

"It's like this," said Brooks Foster of Foster Consultants, an expert on business in Las Vegas who has served as a mentor to businesses in the area for four decades. "The U.S. was in a depression, the Great Depression. The economy was dead in the water. Henry Ford's cars weren't selling and Harvey Firestone's tires were rotting in their racks. So what did they do? They decided to support a regime change starting with FDR," he said.

"You mean the reported coup to be lead by General Smedley Butler the retired Marine and two-time Congressional Medal of Honor winner?" I asked.

"You got it," said Foster.

"So when they were outed by Butler, FDR seized the opportunity to hold the New Deal gun to their heads and garnish their support. Then came the WPA projects like the Tennessee Valley Authority and Hoover Dam, which by the way, created Lake Mead and an abundance of electricity without which Steve Wynn's Bellagio's fountain would be shooting sand instead of water. Heck, there would probably have been no Ceasar's Palace either. In reality, Jay Sarno, the Jewish businessman who built Ceasar's Palace would have been more correct in calling it 'Spartacus' Palace' because it was built with money from the Teamsters Union. Do truck drivers look like Ceasar to you? So Sarno, whose people were oppressed by the Romans must have laughed all the way to the bank, don't you know."


Lake Mead seen from Hoover Dam

"The captains of capitalism began with tax payers' money and union funds to build Vegas?" I asked.

"Tax payers' money?" asked Foster. "What money? Everyone was broke. Nobody had jobs. All they had was a dream and a vision and what followed was jobs and roads and dams and water and electricity and hotels and casinos and eventually Steve Wynn serving as master of ceremonies to business and industry leaders. The public works projects were so massive that they had to have a powerful effect and the demand created travel and Ford sold cars and Firestone sold tires and suddenly the American Nazis were happy and in bed snuggling with the socialists of FDR's left. TV shows like 'Route 66' helped Cheverolet sell Sting Rays to young men and women traveling Route 66 Westward to cool destinations and the desert bloomed. Literally," said Foster.


Bellagio Hotel and Casino
Las Vegas

"People want that to happen again," I said to Mr. Foster.

"Well, then," he said, "Just recapture the vision and start printing and redirecting the money," he said. "FDR made Keynsian economics a reality for even die-hard capitalists who won't to this day admit it works," he continued.

"But did the development of Las Vegas ammount to something like the Israelites coming into the desert and worshipping the Golden Calf?" I asked. "And aren't there negative reprecussions like putting the methods of a Steve Wynn in front of a healthcare company like Columbia's recruiting agenda?" I asked.

"Look," said Foster, "take the devil out of the details and suddenly you have no story," he said. "If God Almighty leaves him in it, who am I to take him out?  But you just don't want to give him the keys to all the offices.  I know that Steve Wynn was fond of the on-line Academy of Achievement which was like a hall of fame for high achievers for whom economist Milton Friedman was the patron saint and that Friedman provided the theoretical framework for Reaganomics and the deregulation that led us to financial disaster. Try to reconcile all that with reality. You can't. Friedman was peddling the elixir of self-sufficiency and the Invisible Hand of Captalism leading the whole thing, but it was always a canard...a myth and a non-workable myth at that," said Foster. "Just ask Donaldson the CEO from Columbia," he concluded.

We did just that. Donaldson responded with two words..."I'll say."

007 AGAINST DEATH PENALTY

9.17.2010 by Winsip Custer WPC News Service

Actor Sean Connery, legendary for his role as James Bond, Agent 007, has joined the Scottish Society of Anti-Death Penalty Advocates, the largest anti-capital punishment organization in Europe.  According to Angie Shillingsworth, spokesperson for the SSADPA, "Mr. Connery's announcement to join us comes on the heels of another celebrity who has taken a stand against the death penalty, Pierce Brosnan."

Sean Connery

"There was a time when I didn't give any thought to playing a character with a license to kill," said Connery.  "My wife and I disagreed over the death penalty for years and finally, in the end, she revoked my license," he said as he laughingly sipped a glass of Scotch and crossed his kilt-clad legs.

The "Black Mamba", the self-confessed CIA hit man who participated in the attempted assassination of Castro as well as other successful "executive actions" in Central and South America,  said of Connery and Brosnan's announcements "if these men are going to go all wishy washy on us, then you might as well go all the way.  Murderers should not be put to death for killing someone.  They should be incarcerated, sure, but not killed.  I'm in favor of a lesser charge of "killing without a license" which should carry fifteen to twenty," he said.  "I have joined the Los Angeles based RDPSF, Reduce Death Penalty Sentences Fellowship.  If a government can kill with a license, the equivalent of a get out jail free card, then its citizens who happen to do so without a license should not be held to a significantly different standard," said the "Black Mamba" from poolside at the Beverly Hills Hilton Hotel who said his favorite cocktail, stirred and not shaken, is a White Russian.

Goolsbee Still Ghoulish for Skull and Bones

Obama's Main Economist Looking Spooky

9.17.2010 By Winsip Custer CPW News Service

The White House's leading economist, 41 year old  Austan Goolsbee, an unlikely player in a Democratic administration that promised to provide much needed regulation of financial markets following the massive Wall Street bailout, has let it be known just why he joined the Obama Administration.  "I like power, ever since the transmission went out on my first car," he said.


Economist Austan Goolsbee

Goolsbee, the Robert P Gwinn Professor of Economics at the University of Chicago's Booth School of Business was born in  Waco in McClennan County, Texas the home of George W Bush's Crawford Ranch. Mr. Goolsbee shares another connection with George W Bush... membership in Yale Skull and Bones Secret Society...the little social club about which GWB said "it's so secret that I can't say anything about it." Add to these connections the fact of Goolsbey's affinity for Milton Friedman, the Nobel Prize winning economist whose economic philosophy provided the backbone for the Reagan and Bush free enterprise push toward deregulation of the market place which led to years of "business gone wild" as evidenced by World Com, Tyco, Enron, the sub-prime mortgage crisis and the S& L debacle before that... "One has to wonder if President Obama played with Brown Recluse Spiders as a child," said John "Speedy" Lento Rio, Economics Advisor for the European Union. 

Economist Milon Friedman

 "He definitely has a way of bringing dissimilar groups together into his circle of advisors," said Rio.  "Obama's think tank is full of cross fermentation, kind of like a micro-brewery and many say more like a septic tank," said Rio from the balcony of his Lisbon townhouse.  "Goolsbee is becoming the bulls eye for critics of America's current economic woes.  Just as without Marx and Lenin,  Trotsky and Guevara there would be no extremes of Socialism, without Friedman to provide the impression of fiscal responsibility inherent in the free market system, there would be no Henry Paulson-bailout of a financial industry that was a house of cards," said the economist.

When asked if for the good of the Obama Administration Mr. Goolsbee would renounce his membership in the social club, Mr. Goolsbee said, "What club?"

"While the framers of the US Constitution were often connected to secret societies like the Free Masons, Skull and Bones was not created until 1833 and its philosophy and inroads into control of America's economic, military and political power structures appears to have significantly shifted the nation's original vision of itself," said Mr. Rio.  "Who wants an expert who eats his brocolli cheese soup out of a skull shaped bowl using a bone shaped spoon?" He asked. "It's not exactly a vision of future economic prosperity is it?" he concluded.

For Mr. Goolsbee's appearance on the Jon Stewart Show 8.11.2009 see
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-august-11-2009/austan-goolsbee

Chaplain's Deathbed Conversation Revealing

Dying Priest Breaks Silence

Concerned for Future of Dying

9.16.2010 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

"Dying is big business," said Father Ignatius Loyola Capone of Austin, Texas, "and during my years as a Hospice Chaplain, I can tell you about my concerns.  Someone has to do it even if I don't have much time.  Write fast," he said as his Hospice nurse administered a vial of Roxanol, a powerful opiate pain kill.

"I'm telling it straight," he said.  "Straight as an arrow, dope or no dope."

Father Capone outlined what he felt were the current issues facing the business of dying.  He made a surprisingly detailed account of the history of the Hospice movement as truth or legend has transmitted it.

"I was a chaplain for thirty five years.  Military.  Hospital. Police.  Businesses.  Hospice.  Doctors don't like dying people.  There's no future in it.  Who can blame them?  Undertakers like dying people and believe me I know cause I worked with them all my life.  We chaplains all knew that Hospice was created in the middle ages when the Knights Templars were leading caravans of religious pilgrims on trips to the Holy Land.  People died along the way and people needed to be comforted in their time of grief," said Father Capone whose tiny DeLuxe truck camper was parked down by Zilker Park near a row of Waste Management Inc. dumpsters.  My mind kept visualizing the dumpsters as the RN, I will call her Miss Libby, laid a clean, wet cloth across his forehead.

"So I'm thinking....Middle Ages....Crusades....Holy Land.   Who could afford to ride from France to Jerusalem under armed escort for a holy pilgrimage before they die?   Not the milk maid.  Not the mule skinner or goat gutter.  No.  It was the wealthy.  The Nobles,  that's who. The Knights....I think of them as being kind of like Derek Prince of Blackwater....selling security and a hotel room to die in with some religious ceremony thrown in.  So this made them fabulously wealthy and they even created a bank to shuffle funds between home and Acre of Haifa.  Then when they got too big for their britches and were flying way above the radar the Vicar of Rome said "man are we ever missing an opportunity here."  So they pulled a hostile takeover and transferred the Templars funds to the Knights of Malta and the travel, hospitality and dying business kept right on going," said Father Capone as he reached for a plastic tumbler of ice water with green flex-pleated straw sticking out.  He took a long sip and Libby wiped his lips.

"So I'm seeing a pattern here.  My Papa, bless his humble heart, never had any insurance.  He said 'When I die I want it to be a sad day for everyone,' and that's how it was with most of the serfs and that's why we priests were so appreciated, respected and needed.   Now I'm not sure.  I know that physicians shouldn't own a cemetery and it probably wasn't a good idea that the Church own the hospitals and cemeteries along the pilgrim route to the Holy Land, but somebody's gotta do it.  Add to that the selling of indulgences...money for time spent out of hell and that's way too much funny business for me.  They might as well have owned a packing plant with a long conveyor belt, don't you see what I mean?"  I nodded and reached out and took his out stretched hand. 

 "Would you prefer talking to another priest at this time?" I asked him.  "Sxxx NO!" he fired back.

"So I have a doctor friend, right?  Now I know that he owns a fifty percent share in a grave yard and embalming  place with that shyster lawyer...you know the one."

"The one on TV whose always baiting the families with sick babies?" I asked. 

"No not him, he actually gives a damn," he said.  He gave me a name.  

"That sorry bastard represents only the mega wealthy and he knows damn well that in Texas a doctor cannot own more than a 10% share of a funeral home without putting a sign up in his waiting room letting everybody know. Calls me a 'plaintiff's lawyer'  and I call him by the name he believes he deserves.  God.  I used to see him at the coffee shop.  "There's the plaintiff's lawyer," he'd say and I'd shoot back "Hello, chief Scribe and Pharisee".  He'd always pick up my tab so I'd order an extra side of bacon just to get at him...but it got to me, too, Cholesterol went through the roof...and so here I am.  So do you think that there's a sign in Doc's waiting room?  Would you want to have your surgeon cut out your spleen knowing that if the thing goes haywire that he'll bury his mistake and make a profit in the process.  I tell you there something kinky about the whole deal."

Father Ignatius' breathing was increasingly labored but he was remarkably lucid.

"Like the brightness of a light bulb before is goes completely out," said Libby.

 Libby pointed at the purple patches of skin around his ankles.  A solemn expression on her face.  "He's had this before and I thought the time was close, but he's rallied. Tough as nails.  He may again," she said as Father Ignatius rolled to his left.

"I know it won't be long now little lady, what the heck you think I was born yesterday?  I've been around the Horn and the Horn's jabbed me in the ass a few times.  That alixir is pretty good stuff isn't it?  What?  You don't think I know what that is.  Now give a dying man the pleasure of keepin' it light and hopeful while I...while I spill my guts."

Libby and I looked at each other and smiled.   "Okay Padre,  spill on."

"Where was I?" he asked.  "Oh yea....dyin'.   Dyin'.  So I'm at a the office of the Texas Hospital Association at a training event for chaplains the year I retired and I'm lookin' at the wall.  I see the photo of the CEO of Parkland in Dallas....you know...where JFK was taken like that would do the poor boy any good.  And I'm lookin' at the CEO of Columbia Healthcare. One's a for-profit guy and other's a not-for-profit guy and I'm thinkin'...and the Hospital Association represents both hospitals?  Guess who gets the better representation!  It's the same with dying you see.  There was no Knight for the milk maid's dying mother, just her sisters and brothers and close kin and the little old lady at the end of the trail who seemed to know something about helping people in times like that.  Like you Libby.  It's sun god worship."

"It's what?" I asked.

"Sun god worship.  Whenever you see  people not caring for others it's sun god worship....pyramidal....the Egyptians, the Myans....the ruling elite sit atop the pyramid and run things and you get in their way and they pop you and roll you down stairs.  The Mayans went bye-bye.  The Egyptians?  Hello.  Groups that share power last.  Them that don't die out.  It's just that simple.  So Jesus came down. Down.  You hear me?" he asked.

"Down," I repeated.

 "Down here to be with us....with me.  Keep writin' I don't have time to make judgements.  I'm leavin' that up to God Almighty.  It's his job anyway. Now people just go to the funeral home for their funeral and I used to think that's okay, but then the best dang Hospice in the area,  a non-profit, loses a dozen of its best nurses overnight.  Went to work for a new company.  Paid them two dollars more an hour.  I think, Great!  All those warm fuzzy personal relationships with the pilgrims on the road to Jerusalem....bye, bye, baby...I just got a raise.  So long sucker.  So much for 'I just like to help people.'"

"I'm not going anywhere," said Libby.

"Isn't that just like it sweet Libby?  So long, you're on your own....oh, there'll be another Erik Prince to come along later, maybe.  Good luck.  So I go over to the Secretary of State's office to see what I can find out about this new company and damned if it's not a mortician whose company was hiring unlicensed morticians for their embalmings.  I called every damn one of those dedicated nurses and told them who they were working for and  then I sent them each a CD of  Night of the Living Dead.  There was one I never trusted.  She'd call me to come in just to keep the family in the other room.  I slipped down the hallway.  The bedroom door was open and she was rapid-fire-pushing the morphine pump.  Had an important lunch date at noon.  Maybe it was her way of showing kindness...relieving the pain.....but how the hell would I know?  She was dating the mortician's son."

"Hey, Libby," said Father Ignatius.  "I could use some more Roxanol.  You dating the mortician's son?" he asked.

SAN BRUNO GAS EXPLOSION

Pacific Gas And Electric Pipeline Explodes
Dozens of Homes Destroyed
Pattern of Corporate Malfeasance Questioned
09.14.2010 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service


     Erin Brocovich knows that  Pacific Gas and Electric is not new to the realm of corporate malfeasance.  It's poisoning of a city water supply at Henkley, California which it then covered up was the subject of the movie that carried her name.

     Pacific Gas and Electric partnered with Enron in the California energy scandal of the summer of 2000 just as Enron's collapse brought a fresh look at the Bush era mantra of "deregulation". Pacific Gas and Electric is home to the attorney and father of American Taliban, John Walker Lindh which raises the question of whether or not the young man who took a radical detour from his parent's values is not unlike another son of an American Industrialist. Thomas G Ayers served on the board of directors of Sears, G.D. Searle, Chicago Pacific Corp., Zenith Corp., Northwest Industries, General Dynamics Corp. of St. Louis, First National Bank of Chicago, the Chicago Cubs, and the Tribune Co. He was the father of Barack Obama supporter William Ayers, the Weather Underground terrorist turned college professor. Most of the companies his father served were associated with the pre-World War II attempt at a coup to remove FDR from office and which was outed by Marine General Smedley Butler with supporting evidence from Assistant Federal Attorney General of the US Dept. of Justice, O John Rogge whose book, The Official German Report, was published in 1961.

     Sears has long been connected with the isolationist group America First led by Robert Wood, President and CEO of Sears. G.D. Searle's CEO, Donald Rumsfeld, who reportedly made $60 million dollars for his success at bringing the sweetner EQUAL to market without adherence to FDA requirements which were changed by Congress with much lobbying by the pharmaeutical company, left his job at the Defense Department following the Abu Gharib scandal. The other companies have longstanding ties to America's military and intelligence establishment.

     According to, Dale Harrington, author of Mystery Man: William Rhodes Davis: American Nazi Agent of Influence, California Governor Gray Davis's father, William Rhodes Davis, was the major supplier of Adolf Hitler's American oil supplies shipped from the port of Brownsville, Texas to Hitler's war machine in Germany.

     The Butler and Rogge testimony pointed fingers at a group of hardcore Machevelian and Darwinian corporate raiders and profiteers that included Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone, John Burroughs, Prescott Bush and others who wanted to remove FDR by force using a 500,000 man army led by General Butler. From Butler's experiences came his book War Is A Racket.

     "The convergence of the children of these plotters in modern American business and politics is telling. That many of their children have moved to a  politics-of-the-extremes that is anametha to most middle Americans who have little awareness these connections is damning," said political science professor at Westcott College, Dr. John R Sherring. 'By shutting down power plants we could push power prices even higher', was the testimony of Enron traders as the scandal was investigated before Congress. It's the kind of thing that was running rampant in the years just before World War II by the power elites of America led by a handful of families. But then there is what I call the "Oedipus Effect". The sons will come back on the fathers and reassert their own dominance, cutting the progenitors off from their evolving madness at the knees. I have also termed it the 'St Francis Effect' since he was the son of a wealthy Italian businessman from Assisi who disavowed his fathers inheritance and way of life," said Sheering who continued..."it will be interesting to see if there was either corporate corruption involved in the explosion of the gas line at San Bruno or whether it was sabotage or simply the failure of a fifty year old pipe. Either way, it all points to the deep-seated frustrations that occur because of sloppy leadership, corruption, cover-up and denial," said Dr. Sheering.  "Middle America had better wake up," he said.  "They have long been sleeping."

     "Do you see middle America more open to the "Oedipus Effect" and the "St. Francis Effect" than the very wealthy and the very poor?"  I asked.  "That's a fine way of putting it. The very poor have less to loose than the very rich whose mothers are often the bearers of a tyrannical spirit...which may be why secret societies like Yale Skull and Bones, for example, are so secretive.  Who would want to admit that "Mom is Jocasta.  That Oedipus' father and Dad, Laius?  Not sure what he is," said the professor.

     "So truth and beauty is transmitted through a man's mother and at some point he must decide between forces of dark and light," I asked.  "Essentially, yes," he said.  "Which is why women in the early church were forced to the sideline and labeled as Gnostics.  Truth and beauty was surely pummeled by the female Laius', the dark male version of the unappealing Jocasta, had she been, say, Barbara Bush.  In the early church the Gospel would be silenced by female Laius'.  This is where the Da Vinci Code, the book by Ron Brown, may not be too far off base, except that he misses the battle between the female Laius' and the Marys'.  I don't mean Mary in the sense of some weak vessel that is ego deficient.  Some in the early church and Ron as son of a power elite insider would be motivated to keeping this a secret, too, since his father taught at Phillips Exeter Academy.  And so those men whose mother's carry little of truth and beauty in their person may remind the young man more of Oedipus' father than of Oedipus' mother who was obviously compelling and magnetic like love itself and Oedipus was willing to risk the greatest of taboos to pursue her....and, of course, not knowing the truth of his plight, Oedipus did know it was a battle he could not and should not win and if you think that's confusing imagine if Mom is like a dehydrated potato who rules the roost and Daddy is, well, ambiguous.   The whole thing gets swirled around and you end up with one god-awful mess."

     When asked why George W Bush did not appear to have been motivated by either the "Oedipus Effect" or the "St Francis Effect", Dr. Sheering said "St. Francis was moved by genuine, deep-seated religious sentiments.  I can't say that for GWB.  And as far as the Oedipus Effect...are you kidding...have you seen a picture of his mother?"

Sydney Austrailia Dentist Pulls Wrong Teeth

Man Not Angry After Extractions
Loses Wisdom Teeth Next Week

by Winsip Custer CPW News Service
9.14.2010

Uluru Bagadjimbiri of Walkaboutagain, Austrailia is not suing his dentist, Dr. Fred J. Culpepper for malpractice.

"I went to Dr. Culpepper to have my wisdom teeth extracted," said Mr. Bagadjimbiri and I still have them.  Very painful but I still have them."

Uluru Bagadjimbiri still smiling after mishap
"Mistakes happen to everybody, but if
Dr. Culpepper
had been watching what I was pointing
 to instead of
talking on the phone I
 think things would have come out
differently," said Uluru.

Dr. Culpepper who said that his insurance company will cover any prosthetic worked needed to restore Mr. Bagadjimbiri's appearance was less clear about the issue of  Mr. Bagadjimbiri's claim of pain and suffering.

"I want to keep this out of the courtroom and in arbitration," said Dr. Culpepper who claims that the mishap was a result of Mr. Bagadjimbiri's selection of English words used to describe the pain radiating from his jaw.  "Front and back are difficult concepts to communicate in Aboriginal languages," said Dr. Culpepper while Mr. Bagadjimbiri claims that he used a universal language..."Me pointed with me finger, man," he said as he stuck his index finger in his mouth.  "Next week Dr. Culpepper will take out my wisdom teeth, so I can't be too angry at him, man," said Uluru.

Super Bowl Ring Recovered

Angry Dolphin Retrieves Stolen Ring Thief's Finger attached
by Robert Ludley for CPW News Service
9.14.2010 Fort Meyers, Fl. 

"I never expected to see that ring again," said the ex-Miami Dolphin defensive back and one of the stars of the "No-name Defense".

The player who wished to remain anonymous citing both his fondness of being on the "No-name Defense" and not wanting publicity over the way in which he summarily snatched back his stolen Super Bowl ring said... "The team offered to buy me a replica, but there is thirty years of memories associated with that ring. What would I want with a replica?"  The ring had been stolen two years earlier from the glove compartment of the player's car while he was at a golf tournament.

Mrs. Mary Weatherby of Fort Meyers collected the finger of Willard P Wallace from its resting place in the Ficus tree outside her store, thrown there by the angry Dolphin as he walked back to his car.

Attempts to reattach Mr. Wallace's finger were not possible because the man's digit had disappeared in transit to the hospital.

We asked officer Jonas Higgins who had placed the finger in a cup of ice in his squad car if he knew what happened to it. He said he left it with the emergency room nurse, Marjorie Reshamadan,  but she claims it was never received. We discovered that police officer Higgins' younger brother Daryl, a senior lineman for  the Florida State football team, has high hopes of playing for the Dolphins in 2011 and is expected to be much sought after by Miami and several other NFL teams.

The police department's Office of Internal Affairs issued a statement saying that the misplacement of body parts at the Fort Meyer's hospital is not common but no further investigation into the matter is necessary.
 
Officer Higgins said upon further comment that he set the cup of ice and finger down on a bench just outside the ER's sliding glass entry-way and that he remembers a mid-sized brown and while Beagle-like dog wandering by just after Mr. Wallace was admitted.  "We looked all over for the dog and couldn't find it."
 
Mr. Wallace, on the other hand, said "I guess that I should be glad I didn't take the ring from a soccer player in Khartoum."

Shocking Mishap Leads Man To Find Higher Power

Electrician's Brush With Death Brings Happy Ending

9.13.2010 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

His fleet of white Ford vans parked on Morgan Street in Cleveland, says it all...."Higher Power Electric: A Connected Electrician".  But he hasn't always been an electrician.

"No, I was a nuclear physicist. My father worked on Fat Man and Little Boy, the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs, at Los Alamos and he use to tell me about the crazy parties with J Robert Oppenheimer and General Leslie Groves.  The guys would dress in drag and sing 'Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey: A kiddley divey too, wouldn' t you?'  Wasn't much to do out there in the desert you know. The wives would applaud and laugh 'til they couldn't stand up.  After the war Dad went off with George Winfield who had worked on Fat Man's detonator after a forced transfer from Little Boy and a failed experiment of some kind and Mom?  She was never the same, lost herself at the Synagogue," said Friesberg.

Not too much unlike his father, Freisberg had designed nuclear reactors for the U.S. Navy and even served as a consultant on the small reactor used by the Soviets in the MIR Space Station.  That was before January 2nd, 1985 when he was replacing a ballast on a faulty kitchen light for his wife.  "She always said I was a klutz.  Two left hands and all thumbs.  I stuck the screwdriver into the switch box and 'pow'.  I saw stars.  My hair was frizzeled for a week and my toes didn't uncurl for ten days, but it was the accident that changed my life."

Freisberg had been reading about J Robert Oppenheimer's take on Albert Einstein at the time of the accident.

"Yea, well, J. Robert Oppenheimer, head of the Manhattan Project and author of the book explained how late in Einstein's life... in relation to his growing despair over the weapons of death and destruction he helped create.... atomic bombs... Einstein said that if he had it to do over again he would have been a plumber.  When I stuck the screw drive in the switch box I remember thinking 'does that mean that the most celebrated scientist of our time and the current icon of the science timeline's evolution saw something of science in the plumber's vocation?  We do not talk of a 'science of plumbing' but clearly there is science associated with it...pressure gauges, flow rate formulas, verifiable effects of its practice on health and sanitation.  The same could be said of electricians, but we hardly ever refer to the science of plumbing or the science of electricians yet they incorporate in their work the products of pure science's ever expanding body of knowledge," said Friesberg who continued...

"I was jiggling the screwdriver thinking about Oppenheimer saying that there was a balance in Einstein's life and remembering reading the words that... 'This was a balance of seriousness and jest that no one should now attempt to disturb. Believe me, he had no idea of what it was to be a plumber; least of all in the United States, where we have a joke that the typical behavior of this specialist is that he never brings his tools to the scene of the crisis.'  Like the plumber who cannot deliver the amalgamated core of his expertise to a crisis I stuck the wrong tool into that switch box.  I shouldn't have used the screwdriver.  A pair of rubber handled needle nose pliers were called for, not a screwdriver," said Freisberg.

"But out of our flawed humanity can come good things.  This mistake was a turning point. It was like the Titanic running into that iceberg and going down, only in this case I was lifted up by a warming of my heart that I had never experienced and by a melting of a filling in a bicuspid that needed replacing anyway."

After the accident, Freisberg immediately enrolled in Bible classes at the local Episcopal Church, then joined a nearby Lutheran Church.  "They were only two blocks from the house," he said.  The next August he enrolled in the Lutheran Seminary in nearby Cottagefield, Ohio and simultaneously started his  training with Local 554 of the Ohio United Electrian's Union.

"My wife lasted two months into the fall semister," said Freisberg, whose wife Ruth was the daughter of an Orthodox Rabbi from Cleveland.  "After the accident we didn't see eye to eye anymore," said Friesberg,  "but I did finish the job and put in a nice bank of brighter lights in her kitchen. And the kids?  Gerald became a Yoga instructor in Santa Barbara and Sue is still trying to find herself.  I prayer for them every day."

It would take another three years for Freisberg to finish seminary during which time he met Rachael Weber, a second year or 'Middler' student from Elkhart, Indiana.  Rachael had also converted to Christianity from Judaism.  "My story's a little different, but still similar.  A dangerous drain cover in our family spa held me underwater for four minutes and when they finally got me loose I was a different person.  It was like I had been washed anew, baptized in an entirely different perspective and I saw the same person that Karl describes seeing when the smoke cleared in his kitchen.  It was Jesus," she said and "Life is good."

When asked what two Jewish converts to Christianity think about the Florida pastor who proposed burning the Koran on September 11th, Rachael Freisberg said "that would break Sue's heart.  She studying the Koran at the Mosque in Cincinnati and loves wearing a burka especially when she's at the grocery store.  She's a little overweight, you know," said Rachael, "and a little withdrawn.  We've been praying about that, too," she concluded as Karl answered a call from his office, got in his van and drove away.  "And your daughter see's something in Islam that will help her self-esteem?" I asked.

"Yes," said Rachael, "a fine young man from Yemen who is studying Nuclear Physics at Cincinnati University," said Rachael Friesberg.

Flapping Tonsils Says Loose Bulls of Wall Street Created Worldwide Terrorist Threat

Economist Sees Fall of Soviet Union Cause for Worldwide Terrorism.

9.11.2010 by Winsip Custer, CPW News Service


He worked for the Reagan administration as an economist, but his testimony is an eye-opening view of forces inside the administration which brought on the fall of the Berlin Wall.
"You have to imagine that the Berlin Wall was a gate in the larger Iron Curtain and together they were like an imaginery line between two corners of a boxing ring. The big boys contolled both corners during the Cold War. There was parity. It was stressful, no doubt, living under the constant threat on nuclear attack, but is it any less stressful than today?" he asked. "From time to time someone took a bite out of another boxer's ear, but beyond that it was all pretty much predictable."
"So Reagan's challenge to Gorbachev was ill-time. Ill-advised?" I asked the secretive advisor. "The slippage was Regan's fault?"  I asked.

"Yes, He was the ring man and the promoters thought that they could count on Regan to keep Reagan and the fight going?" he said in a brisk tone.

"Poorly timed then?" I repeated.

"Well that's the largest understatement since the Dark Ages. You see, Gorbachev wanted to own a Mercedes dealership in Moscow and he couldn't do that so long as there was communism in the USSR. Reagan? He was under strict orders from his handler, Don Regan, White House Chief of Staff and former head of Wall Street firm Merrill Lynch, the company that was force-sold to Bank Of America during the 2008 collapse in a sweet heart deal that other firms dreamed about before going down the tubes....Ken Lewis, President and CEO of Bank of America, squeeling all the way to the Fed's check out counter about the deception and pressure. Regan was himself handled by the bigger handlers who controlled, by the way, both corners....East and West....Left and Right....Capitalism and Communism. They are dialecticians after all and at the extremes of the corners... with Nazis and hard line Bolsheviks it's really crazy and the big boys know this so they keep the focus the game in the middle of the ring.  Play the game.  Keep it going.  Parity.  Trading off....matching blows. They make their killing on the bets from the masses by controlling the fight," he mused.

"The people go home form the little bouts to their apartments in Brooklyn or Queens, to modest homes in New Jersey or Connecticutt. The big boys go home to mansions in the Hamptons and North Shore or Palm Springs or fly to Lisbon or Monte Carlo. Well, Reagan, bless his heart, was becoming increasingly forgetful and unmanageable. He forgot the parity thing and he was such an excellent communicator that, well, like a cruise missile with faulty wiring he just got away from everybody and the balance fell apart right under their noses. Now instead of a two cornered fight that's as managable as Hulk Hogan and one of his rivals, now its a tag team with ten or fifteen potential fighters standing around the ring," said the man who wished like "Deep Throat" to remain anonymous. "Call me 'flapping tonsils'," he said.

"Do you have any recommendations for where to invest in this new environment?" I asked him.
"In time's past I'd say invest in Don Regan's company," he said. "But he's now in Arlington Nation unless something happened to him like the 6000 other soldiers reported missing or lost. But to his credit he was bothered by Nancy Reagan's use of an astrologer, Ms. Quigley, who was informed by Nancy as to the President's schedule without Regan's authorization. The Bilderbergers must have been going nuts with that little side bar," he said continuing....
"In his memoire Don Regan wrote....'I was aghast to think that the wife of the President of the United States was using a public telephone to discuss the movements of the President of the United States with a party who had never been cleared by the Secret Service, or anybody else. It was wrong. And I don't care what others say of my conduct in reporting this, but I think it had to be out of bounds,' and it was out of bounds" ... And that's what we're facing today....the bounds are gone. Where are the bounds? Bounds. Here bounds."

For a glimpse of Regan's handling of  President Reagan as he spoke at the New York Stock Exchange see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTcL6Xc_eMM

Wall Street Bull Takes Improper Dump

Disgruntled Minnesota Vikings Fan Delivers Message to Wall Street Brokers

9.11.10 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

"I might not have noticed it except for the sign and the flies," said Goldman Sacks secretary Marge Leonard as she held her nose.

The sign atop the six foot pile of cattle manure directly behind the iconic Wall Street bronze bull had been delivered Friday morning between 2:00-2:15 a.m. by Virgil G Elkins a dairy farmer from St. Paul, Minnesota.

"One minute he was in the barn shoveling manure and the next minute he was gone," said his brother and business partner Leroy Elkins.  "It all got to him... the loss of half the value of his 401k and all.  He had taken everyone's advice after the bailout, pulled his money out and put it in a CD  after it lost half its value and wouldn't you know it?  The one stock that he had been heavily invested in shot up in spite of the drop and he lost out on a doubling of its value.  He just cracked.  Drove off yellin' 'I'll be back in a couple of days'.  Next thing I know we're getting a call from the NYPD."

Signs atop the pile of smelly excrement read "Thank you GWB, Henry Paulson and the rest of you SOB's".  

"We caught him on the New Jersey side of the Holland Tunnel," said officer Marcus Zambrini.  "He really thought that he could deliver that load with nobody noticing and when he was caught he said 'I'm a dairy farmer from Minnesota and we all know out there that it takes sxxx to make things grow.  It's usually spread around a little bit so as not to burn the grass."

"Do you know what he meant by that?" officer Zambrini was asked.  "Haven't a clue," he said, "but he didn't have a doggie bag big enough to take it back home.  The judge fined him $120,000 for code violations.  He figured it was equal to the fines on six hundred dogs."