Time Magazine Photo of General David Patraeus Gets Special Treatment

Apparition of Col. Theodore Westhusing Vomits on Photo of General David Patraeus

Multiple Witnesses in Baghdad and West Point See Strange Sightings

     An apparition of popular West Point professor and officer in charge of the training of Iraqi security forces, Col. Theodore “Ted” Westhusing, was seen outside Baghdad’s Green Zone today.  “He had on a U.S. Army battle uniform with helmet and the name ‘Westhusing’ printed  above the pocket.  He was leaning against a bullet riddled wall reading what looked like the latest Time Magazine.  I approached him,” said Saddam Al Bin Wazi who had been in training as a security officer and recognized Westhusing who he said “was as much loved by the men he was training here in Baghdad as he was reported to  have been loved by students at West Point.”

     A similar report of an apparition in West Point, New York occurred at approximately the same time under a light pole near the West Point campus.  “It was him alright,” said a West Point resident who  wished not to be identified.  “The guy was dressed in U.S. Army fatigues and helmet and he was reading the December Time Magazine and then vomited all over it and disappeared, but the magazine stayed.  It was the damnest thing I’ve ever seen.  Didn’t say anything, just wiped off the magazine in the grass and it was turned to page 12."
       That was a “Person of the Year” page where the Time Magazine editors had interviewed General David Patraeus, now head of the CIA, for his vote on the 2011 Time Magazine 'Person of the Year'.  Of course everyone knows that Ted Westhusing had confronted General Patraeus about human rights violations in Iraq among private contractors during his work there.  Westhusing was dead within four hours of that confrontation with Patraeus.  The encounter and death was chronicled in the book Blood Money by Christian T. Miller.  "Anyway," said the witness, "the Patraeus article said how his recommendation for Person of the Year was ‘Mohammad Bouazizi, the Tunisian street vendor whose suicide by self immolation touched off the events in that country that led to the Arab Spring.'"

     I asked the West Point witness if the Westhusing apparition may have been vomiting on the photo and recommendation of Martha Stewart just beneath Patraeus’ photo and statement on the same page.

     “Nope.   Doesn’t fit at all.  The apparition reappeared looked down at the magazine and said 'Patraeus, you worm…..and now you’re head of the CIA!'" said the witness.  Bin Wazi agreed...."It was page 12 alright, but the vomit projectiled with such force that the picture of Patraeus was destroyed by what looked like a big chunk of balony or maybe it was piece of Baklava.  I couldn't tell," said Bin Wazi who agreed that the apparition said "Patraeus, you worm!"
      Vienese psychiatrist, Dr. Isadore B. Fritzmueller, has analyzed the data and has concluded that sub-consciously General Patraeus' selection of Bouazzi may be saying "I wish that Col. Westhusing's death would touch off a similar response in the United States.  I'm a Greek.  The cradle of democracy and freedom and not the bowl of degenerated bull sxxx that I have given my life to defend.  These soulless jerks that made me turn a blind eye to Ted's legitimate complaints can't tell me who to choose for this years 'Person of the Year'!  They'll think that it's good reverse psychology to say Bouazzi since we did everything for forty years or more to silence his kind.  Either way I win and ever since that bullet through my lungs at Fort Campell, Kentucky plugged by Dr.  Thomas Frist, I'd do what I have to do to survive.   You think I want to be another William Colby?  Who knows? That whole thing may have been a way to set me up as their little Greek gofer,'" said Dr. Fritzmuller.