Nicholas Delpopolo Finds First Amendment Rights Violated
"Yep," said his pastor, Walter "Brother Beaming" Barnett, "he celebrates daily communion like all good Reformed Coptic Mennonites do. He had ganja bread and wine," said Barnett. "What's wrong with that? Our delicious, nutritious whole grain bread is made from a variety of substantive grains and seeds including ganja, the Jamaican name for Marijuana which we call 'gunja'. We peace loving Coptic Mennonites believe in gunja and butter. Not guns and butter like the warring Fascist or Bolshevik pigs of all military industrialist complexes do."
Marijuana or “gunja” is a food as rich in nutritional supplements as soy or wheat according to pastor “Brother Beaming” Barnett. Because of its fast growth, clusters of nutty nutritional seeds and gentle mood altering qualities, not unlike wine in the Christian communion meal or Eucharist, "it would be poor stewardship not to use gunja," said Beaming who counsels church members not to smoke gunja because "soot isn't good for anyone."
Brother Beaming has become an outspoken critic of the “anti-religious attitudes that the Olympic Committee and the repressive U.S. and other nation-state drug laws have engendered.”
“Without Mr. Delpopolo's commitment to his religion and the subtle mood leveling effects of his daily communion, Nicholas would rip an opponents head off and kick it up into the rafters,” said Brother Beaming who has pledged his church's unconditional support for Mr. Delpopolo.