Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Friday, August 24, 2012

British Royal Family To Sue City of Las Vegas For False Advertising

Las Vegas To Counter-Sue Citing Failure of British Security
To Adequately Protect Prince Harry

Prince Harry at another
party.  "Well, at least
I wasn't wearing that Nazi
uniform again," he said.

By Winsip Custer CPW News Service

     Citing the City of Las Vegas' failure to live up to its multi-million-dollar ad campaign with the slogan “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas,” lawyers for the British Royal family have filed suit in a Nevada court on Friday.  The suit was filed in the Eastern Nevada Township where the citizens are predominantly conservative Mormons.  In the hopes that a Mormon jury will agree with the British Royal Family, a team of crack jury selection experts have been employed to cull the jury pool.
     “Our biggest concern will be in finding Mormons whose families don’t work for Nevada casinos, which is really a tough job.  As you probably know the Mormons nearly run Vegas’ Howard Hughes interests and over the years have infiltrated most of the big casinos.  They are conservative among their own, but let the heathen do what they want since it makes a lot of money from the non-Mormon,” said Harvey Winston of PsySelectors LLC.
     "Kind of like Mitt Romney with Bain Capital?" I asked.  Winston had no comment.
    “If you are going to promote your city as a place where nothing bad can happen of this nature, then we are going to hold them to it,” said the British royal family’s leading attorney, Gilbert Sullivan, of Sullivan, Sullivan and Tudor Attorneys At Law.
     “We believe that Las Vegas will come out of this unscathed,” said Vinney Pescho attorney for the City of Las Vegas.  “We successfully defended the city against similar accusations during the “Vegas…..A Family Destination” ad campaign after children were disappearing in large numbers off of the Strip.  We have no reason to believe that this is any different,” said Pescho.

     Meanwhile, sources close to Prince Harry at the party that night reported that the handsome, but achne-assed prince said "Well, at least I wasn't wearing that Nazi uniform.  I was dressed instead as Jews preparing to enter the showers at Auschwitz.  Jesus.  Can you never make anybody happy?"

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