by Courtney N. D'Jestor, CPW News Service
Melania Trump's RNC speech has drawn lightening bolts of blazing criticism for wholesale lifting of material from the 2008 DNC speech of Michele Obama.
"I have analyzed the two speeches and there is less that a .00002182 chance that Melania's speech wasn't lifted from Michele's speech. The only way it wasn't plagiarized is if there is a time machine and Michele traveled back in time after hearing Melania's speech last night to 2008 and copied Melania's speech. There's a zero percent chance that happened," said Dick Grollier of Grollier's Statistical Analysis of Plagarized Songs, Books, Articles and Speeches or GSAPSBAS, LLC in Fountain View, Vermont.
Grollier's extensive connections within the entertainment and political consultant community has led him to believe that Donald Trump and Paul Manafort, who according to Grollier "should have both known every single word, phrase, breath and expression coming from Melania's mouth and face, should "do as I have heard that they intend to do. Hire Jimmy Page, Chuck Berry and Jorge Bin to serve as speech readers for future Trump or Trump family speeches. Can you imagine now if Donald Trump, Jr. or Barron Trump, the one that Melania refers to as "Little Donald" to the chagrin of Donald, Jr. who has been threatening to have his name changed to "King" or "Prince" steal wholesale Barack's 2004 or 2008 speech?"
"Yes," said Grolier, "Jimmy Page has an ear for mimicking without overstepping the legal definition of "plagiarism" as we learned with his legal defense on Stairway to Heaven. Chuck Berry can smell a rip off of his songs from miles away and God knows he has been majorly ripped off by hundreds of song writers and Jorge Bin who accused singer Rod Stewart of ripping off Don't You Think I'm Sexy should be thrown in to show that it's not just talented African Americans who get their material lifted," said Grollier.
Grollier is a self-professed conspiracy theorist. "If I was Manafort and working as a spy for Hillary or even Putin and wanted to trip up Trump, having Mrs. Trump the potential FLOTUS steal the first African American FLOTUS' words right out of her mouth would really fuel resentment among the African America community ever since Lomax made a fortune off of Huddie Ledbetter. It would work quite nicely......'Whoa, Black Betty, Sham-a-Lam'....and this GOP convention and Trump can sing along with Huddie....."Black Betty had a child.....damn thing's gone wild.....Bam-a-Lam!".