NON-KOSHER BAGELS POINT OF CONTENTION

ACLU Defends George Luther Hitler’s Right To Bagel Business

by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

     Following a flood of protests from the Skokie, Illinois Jewish community, the ACLU has come to the defense of George Luther Hitler.  “Mr. Hitler has the right to sell non-kosher bagels if he wishes and there is nothing in his business plan that indicates that he is anything but a legitimate businessman,” said Ferd Wiscz, the Skokie, Illinois attorney hired by Mr. Hitler as spokesperson for the new business venture.

     “What about the swastika in Mr. Hitler’s sign and logo?” asked Rachael Wiscz, Mr. Wiscz's daughter, whose father's relationship with George Hitler's bagel business has caused what she says is “irreparable harm to a once loving and caring father-daughter relationship.”

     “That’s not a swastika,” said Mr. Wiscz, Rachael's father.  “That’s four red boxes that have nothing to do with a swastika.  They are rectangular boxes that a dozen non-kosher bagels are in when they come home from the store.”

     “You’re a friggin’, xxx-xxxx idiot,” said Ms. Wiscz who says she is taking her mother’s maiden name in protest. In the future I will be Rachael Anna Himmler,” she said.