Bill Maher and Alexandra Pelosi Fumble, Again
by Winsip Custer CPW News Services
Returning to the Bill Maher program to provide the “other side of the story” of the heartbreak of American poverty and ignorance, Alexandra Pelosi, daughter of former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, made a personal appearance to justify her film. Pelosi provided Part 2 of a video aimed at countering criticism that she had simply targeted toothless, ignorant Mississippians in her Part I last week.
Believing that her short film of interviews with the unemployed from her own neighborhood in New York City would receive the wrath of liberals just as Part I had triggered a Conservative backlash, Pelosi filmed an array of welfare trampoline bouncers who fail to launch on purpose. Maher who gave a million dollars to the Obama campaign said that he just wanted to give the poor toothless Dixie doodles some new teeth and that he hoped Obama would make provisions for that possibility in the future. New York’s self-professed government handout hoarders were less to Maher’s liking. They were, however, more likely than the self-sufficient Southerners to take Maher up on his offer....if not of the new teeth... then of the money equal to the offer.
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| Albert Lasater Maher, Bob Dylan and Geno Foreman in New York, 1964. |
“Bill Maher told Ms. Pelosi not to tell people which New York neighborhood she lives in and he didn’t want people to know where he really lives either (“I live in Ohio"). If I had to guess I'd say that Maher is a relative of that rich Maher kid who worked as Bob Dylan’s bodyguard and guided a group of American hippies to Cuba about the time of the Cuban missile crisis,” said Walter Portland of Cabbage Patch, Colorado. Portland is the head of the Colorado Pray Up Another Carlin Fellowship.
“I always liked Bill Maher, but when he went off on saying how innocent pornography is while slurring most of his opening dialog and totally blowing a joke I had to reconsider my assessment. I’ve heard too much about porno’s connection to human trafficking of young women in the Third World and elsewhere. I’d decriminalize homemade, non-commercial porn and create free lending libraries for adults and I'd make the killing of slaving and abusive smut commercializers a misdemeanor. Which brings me back to Maher. Bill Maher is not George Carlin. I’d never pay to hear Maher in concert. Maher is all over the chart like semen on porno pictures in a parochial school boy's dorm. Carlin, on the other hand? Wow! Maher is just cock-eyed. I don't mean he's gay and I have nothing against gays, except that I wish I could still use that word "gay" in the old sense. My father was a poet and when the gay community commandeered that word it ruined two dozen of Dad's poems, but there's something about Maher that doesn't ring sincere. In fact, no other atheist has ever been as articulate and funny as George whose recorded appearance on an earlier REAL TIME show opened the program. I hope and pray that the comedy world will create another George Carlin real soon, because nobody does George Carlin like George Carlin. God rest his disbelieving soul,” said Portland.
Portland wasn’t sure about how to assess Alexandra Pelosi. “There she was telling us that the $7 billion spent on welfare was paltry compared to the $700 billion Pentagon defense budget and ‘look what you get for 10 times the amount.’ I thought 'Yea, a rip off artist who shoots sixteen innocent civilians.' I happened to think that the poor welfare bilkers and the toothless Dixie doodles should work for food, clothing and shelter in one of the U.S. wars like the one protecting the opium crops in Afghanistan. They'd better understand the plight of other poor people and have some empathy, I think,” said Portland. “Then when they’ve had enough and figured out what we are really doing there, they can come back here and start a revolution,” said Portland. "That otta' make Bill Maher really happy!"
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