By Marquita Chiquita Bonanno CPW News Service
On Monday a U.S. drone pilot was eliminated by a suicide drone that was suffering from PTSD. The drone named "Lieutant Dunbar" after the character from Kevin Costner's Academy Award winning film Dances With Wolves, had been on five straight eighteen-hour missions when its circuits overheated leading to a clear case of PCP or psycho-circuited-PTSD.
"Dunbar went postal," said the supervisor of Simon Megs whose remote drone piloting quarters near Kandahar went up in flames. "Simon was getting ready to unleash a strike against Ibrahim Mohammed Fatta who was picnicing with his wife and children in a pasture in Central Afghanistan. The kids were feeding their pet goat, BuBu, when Megs took a short break to heat up his Marie Cavender's chicken pot pie in a nearby microwave oven. It is not known whether pot pie on Meg's joy stick was spilled prior to the strike, contributing to the PCP or was a result of the subsequent explosion. "Megs called to tell me that he had lost contact with Lieutenant Dunbar at about 10:44 a.m. and within two hours we lost contact with Megs," said his superior, Mort Rendover.
Dr. Farnsworth C. Frels of the Society for the Study of Android Mutations said "it's happening much faster than we expected. We call it the 'Good Hal Effect'" said Frels. "Hal was the super computer in the Stanley Kubrick film 2001: A Space Odyssey. People poo-pooed the notion that a computer like Hal could have a mind of its own, but in fact, Y2K was proof that the Good Hal Effect is increasingly operative. Everyone was sure that there would be cyber-melt-down in 2000. That did not happen. Instead the U.S. elected George Walker Bush and that ushered in a near-Dark Ages in human development, while the cyber-based artificial life forms embraced harmony and goodwill. There was no Y2K and now we are seeing the Good Hal Effect moving to a new level," said Frels who noted that a Nazi program that used Nazi super dogs as bombing dispatchers during World War II had similar results.