Earth Off Center
by Winsip Custer CPW News Service
The recent Japanese earthquake has tipped the earth slightly off of its axis, according to Professor Yuto Onono of the University of Kyoto.
"The earth is now officially off-center, off-kilter, how you say....wobbly....spin funny," said Professor Onono.
When asked if there would be any noticeable effects from the development Professor Onono said "policemen will have many more false positive sobriety tests on DWI arrests."
Daniel Shenton, head of the International Flat Earth Society which was founded by Samuel Shenton in 1956 and which in the U.S. was headquartered in Lancaster, California, and led by president Charles K. Johnson until his death in 2001, has said that there is no truth to the assertion that the earth is rotating off its axis since the earth does not rotate. Californians are said to be taking new interest in the International Flat Earth Society since the Japan earthquake and assertions by leading scientists that the Pacific Rim nations are all in jeopardy of a chain reaction from the shift in the earth's plates.
The California group Scientists for Radical Remediation, have called for a renewed effort to fix the problem before the swelling of the ranks of the Flat Earth Society which they believe is an example of MDS or Mass Denial Syndrome. MDS is a new psychological disorder that some compare to the TNGB Syndrome, both of which are under consideration by the DSM-IV committee for entry in the next DSM Handbook of Psycological Disorders. TNGB is the "There's No Global Warming" syndrome.
Daniel Shenton, head of the International Flat Earth Society which was founded by Samuel Shenton in 1956 and which in the U.S. was headquartered in Lancaster, California, and led by president Charles K. Johnson until his death in 2001, has said that there is no truth to the assertion that the earth is rotating off its axis since the earth does not rotate. Californians are said to be taking new interest in the International Flat Earth Society since the Japan earthquake and assertions by leading scientists that the Pacific Rim nations are all in jeopardy of a chain reaction from the shift in the earth's plates.
The California group Scientists for Radical Remediation, have called for a renewed effort to fix the problem before the swelling of the ranks of the Flat Earth Society which they believe is an example of MDS or Mass Denial Syndrome. MDS is a new psychological disorder that some compare to the TNGB Syndrome, both of which are under consideration by the DSM-IV committee for entry in the next DSM Handbook of Psycological Disorders. TNGB is the "There's No Global Warming" syndrome.
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