Friday, March 18, 2011
Sheen's Image Tarnishing U.S.
Sheen's Behavior Prompts New House And Senate Bill Seeking Change For U.S. Currency
by Winsip Custer CPW News Service
With Warlocks from Salem, Massachusetts following Charlie Sheen's national appearances like flies following a cattle drive, U.S. Senators and Congressmen are crafting a new House and Senate Bill taking aim at what Senator Harry Reid said is "a disgusting display of pop culture run a muck," and which South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham has called "proof that an abortion is not always a bad thing."
If adopted the U.S. Treasury Secretary will be empowered to order the immediate change of the phrase "In God We Trust" to "Charlie Sheen Is Nuts."
"We feel that this will go a long way to providing a solution to those who feel that the addition of the phrase in 1953 was a violation of the separation of church and state. Mr. Sheen is, however, providing an opportunity to fix what his life so clearly shows is broken by providing us an opportunity to amend the 1953 decision that serves as an indictment of the United States every time Charlie handles a dollar bill," said one U.S. Senator who said he was working with Mr. Boehner and others to insure the change.
Meanwhile, attorneys for Sheen are demanding a royalty for every coin or currency that bears Mr. Sheen's name. Sheen's only comment when asked about these developments was "Winning. Tiger Pee." I asked...."You mean Tiger blood?" "I graduated," said Sheen who was seeking a meeting with House Speaker John Boehner to discuss the details of his attorney's demands for a royalty. "How much of a royalty do you want?" Mr. Sheen was asked. "I'm not greedy. I want 10%....ten cents on every dollar, a dollar on ten, ten on a hundred. Winning. Winning," he said adding "My new charitable foundation will be headed by four wives of some of my favorite U.S. Senators and Congressmen.
The Chaplain of the House of Representatives is said to have started the morning session with an invocation.... "Oh God, whose Word told us that the love of money is the root of all evil..."