Louis C.K.: The Szekely Connection

So Many Bodily Functions and So Few Venues To Joke About Them

By Ward B. de la Estado for CPW News Services

      His father was an economist from Mexico, Luis Szekely.  His mother is reported to have been a software engineer.  “It is not known if she is the Mary Louise Szekely born in 1943 or 1944 who married Frank Graham Brown Jr. on January 14, 1967, but with Louis C.K.’s birth in 1967, that would have meant her marriage to Luis Szekely had ended before her 23^rd birthday.   Everywhere I read Louis C.K. was born on September  12, 1967 to Mary Louise nee Davis Szekely to Luis Szekely,” said Ferdy Frederickson of Genealogy Trackers Inc..

    The most famous of the Szekely’s is Count of Szekely, Gabriel Bethlen, Prince of Transylvania.  A Calvinist, anti-Hapsburg, Protestant, he was also a pragmatist in siding with the Hapsburgs against the Ottoman Empire.  “Why shouldn’t the Knights Templars of France and England, the Teutonic Knights of Germany and the Maltese Knights of the Vatican and Hapsburg Empires side against their common enemies even though they fight like cats and dogs among their own?" asked Bethlen.

     Gabriel Bethlen founded an academy where pastors and teachers from Royal Hungary were trained.  He sent students to Protestant universities in Western Europe and Germany and prevented landlords from forbidding serf children from receiving an education.  This put Bethlen in the middle of the developing cultural currents flowing toward the eventual democratization of political rule, though he was also very ambitious.  Being a prince of Transylvania, he was inclined to enjoy dark humor, horror stories and the visioning of early capitalistic ideologies.  "I like Russian vodka, but scotch is better," he said indicating his early preference for the West, especially when it was a single malt scotch aged twenty years or more.

     When one of the lesser known Szekely court jesters broke out of the ranks of the other jesters with an endless barrage of bathroom and bodily function humor, it was reported that the royal celebration ended in a drunken brawl with jester Szekely defecating in the center of Bethlen’s brocade and crystal laden dining table.

     Thereafter, the jester became known as “Luis P.U.”.

     In the Twentieth Century, Edmund Bordeaux Szekely, reported that he had discovered a lost testament in the Vatican Library that he translated in 1928 which chronicled the contributions of the Jewish Essene community to the ministry of Jesus Christ, titled The Essene Gospel of Peace.  A second copy of the testament collaborating the Vatican find, was housed in a monastery that was unfortunately bombed during World War II and the book was reported by Szekely to have been destroyed.   Edmund Szekely founded a 3000 acre ranch resort in the Northern Mexico region of Baja, south of San Diego, California where he taught the healing practices of the Essene Jews that his research had discovered… including vegetarianism.  Leading Hollywood personalities frequented the resort, Rancho La Puerta, including Aldous Huxley and Burt Lancaster, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Barbara Streisand and Joseph P. Kennedy’s mistress, actress Gloria Swanson, who reportedly was an early devotee of Reike known as Reekie which was carried by some early Israelite Essenes from Egypt to Palestine having seen the Egyptian army's bath in the Red Sea as emblematic of their own central ritual.  The Reekie ceremony required a final step of ritual bathing, hence the Essene emphasis upon purification.  The relationship of John the Baptist to the Essene Jewish movement has been widely explored, but scholars find no strong evidence of Jesus' membership in the Essene Jewish community of the 1st Century other than being baptized by John in the Jordan River.
    Ferdy Frederickson notes that while the Szekely history winds through Transylvania, the brutal politics of Eastern Europe, Jewish, Calvinistic and early wholistic health and metaphysical mind science movements, there is no clear indication that these Eastern Europeans had Communist leanings.  "Well, who knows?  Hitler loved to associate Eastern European Jews with Socialism, but how would you really know?" asked Frederickson.  "I call them LCD Humanists.  Meaning 'Lowest Common Denominator Humanists'," said Frederickson.  "When a world-class classical violinist can play in a New York subway and make less than a one man band playing a wash board and cow bell you learn how to keep going for the lowest common denominator," said Frederickson of this Szekely characteristic and of their perception that even those of the highest common denominator conceal their interest in low down behavior.  "Why else would a world-class violinist play in a subway?" asked Frederickson.
     Frederickson believes that the arrival of Szekely Jews from Transylvania, weaved as they were through the Protestantism of Western Europe brought together two harmonious, but dissimilar aspects of their religious sentiments.  Protestants were anti-monarchial as were Jews whose leader of their Golden Age was King David, the last born son of Jesse of Bethlehem.  "No primogeniture system of first-born monarchs for the Jews and Puritans," said Frederickson noting the tendency of Oliver Cromwell to behead kings while reinstating the Jews of England whom Edward I or 'Longshanks' had exiled to the mainland during his reign. "A Jewish court jester, perhaps a Szekely, had made the mistake of saying at a celebration after the death of William Wallace that "Longshank's nickname applied only to his two legs."  What the Puritans weren't counting on was the merger of these Szekely longings with deep-seated Transylvanian interests in the occult which brought some of them big problems at Salem, Massachusetts which eventually went mainstream in the New England publishing business, especially as silent partners in Edgar Allen Poe's popularity and eventually in Hollywood films.

 

     The Vatican, which keeps copious records of the visitors to the library, said it had no record of Edmund Bordeaux Szekely’s 1928 visit.  “There was, however, what appeared to be a smudged signature of what may have been a “Luis P.U.”, said one Vatican curator, “but we had no book titled 'The Essene Gospel of Peace'.”

     “Too bad, isn’t it?” Edmund was reported to have said to a resort maid, Maria Soliz Blanco,  “The Essene Prince, Jesus, the Prince of Peace should have  had a Gospel of Peace.”

Thomas Peterffy's Dream

by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

I grew up in a socialist country.

And I have seen what that does to people.

There is no hope, no freedom, no pride in achievement.

The nation became poorer and poorer.

And that is what I see happening here.

As a young boy, I was fantasizing about one day going to America.

Making a success of myself.

The American dream.

America’s wealth comes from the efforts of people striving for success.

Take away their incentive by badmouthing success

And you take away the wealth that helps us take care of the needy.

Yes, in socialism the rich will be poorer, but the poor will also be poorer.

People will lose interest in really working hard and creating jobs.

I think that this is a very slippery slope.

It seems that people don’t learn from the past.

That’s why I’m voting Republican and putting this ad on television.

I’m Thomas Peterffy and I’m responsible for the content of this advertising.

    This ad was placed on CNN between an ad for The Society for Human Resource Management and Ford Motor Company that used the Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs host Mike Rowe.....the everyman of the American work experience.

     "There is no rebuttal to Peterffy who backs only Republican causes and who as a founder of Boston Options Exchange, BOX,  that provides electronic order matching services to stockbrokers and traders and shared equity partnership with Citigroup, Credit Suisse, JP Morgan, Morgan Stanley, UBS and Citadel Derivatives Group, all with their own connections to the 'too big to fail' bailout of Wall Street," said Festus Green Pusley of the citizen bank watchdog group Brazen Banks Back At It Again.  "Boston.  Massachusettes.  Where Romney was governor.  Where the Tea Party was held against those damn monarchists and King George yelling 'don't tread on me!' Only to be comandeered by the new breed of monarchists who believe in the monopolists' creed:  Too big to fail. Too small to succeed without our blessing, so lick our boots."

     "There's no mention of the 1930's business plot of Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone, John Burroughs, Charles Lindberg and Prescott Bush that would have had Marine General Smedley Darlington Butler taking over America with an equally distasteful option....not Communist totalitarianism, but Fascism.   A slave is a slave by any other name," said Pusley.

     "The American dream that Mr. Peterffy loves is the part about a common man like Mike Rowe working his way up with the help of others who encourage him, invest in him,  buy his product, trust his judgement, see his ethics on the street corner each day lived out in close community to others.... and know him long before he is picked off by Citigroup, Credit Suisse, JP Morgan, Morgan Stanley, UBS, Ford, Goldman Sachs and others needing a little guy as an example to show that the American Dream is still alive and well, but all the while promoting their bigger dream.  Their dream of an American imperialism, of too big to fail, of too small to succeed unless we say you can," said Pusley.  "Nobody's badmouthing success, but there is a huge difference between the success of vulture capitalists, monopolists and ethically challenged Enron, Columbia/HCA, HealthSouth, United Health Group, Tyco or Worldcom executives, S&L scammers or housing bubble bimbos and  the ethical, capital expanding venture capitalists who know damn well that Henry Ford did not invent the automobile, the wheel, nor the roads that taxpayers funded  so that his transmissions and engines didn't fall out of his Model T's half way between Detroit and Chicago", said Pusley. "But you cannot call what Columbia/HCA did in earning the largest Medicare/Medicaid fraud fine in U.S. history at $1.7 billion only to see their CEO paid $400 million in a severance package and to go on to become the Governor of Florida, for example, as success."   Pusley concluded "I'd take away that 'success' in a heart beat even though Mr. Peterffy may call that 'taking care of the needy'.  I'd like to see that called treason and some people shot...call me whatever label you want.  I call it class warfare and riding a high horse. Peterffy is right about one important thing...it seems that people don't learn from the past."
 

Engelhardt and Capaldi: Dipped In A Deep Dilemma

How Yale, MIT, Rice, Tulane, the Koch Brothers and Petro Chemical Plants Share a Common Philosophy

by Winsip Custer CPW News Services

    With the push to reinstate the Republican agenda on the American populace, an agenda that Mitt Romney will not clearly articulate beyond returning the cutting of taxes for the upper class, unleashing them to create new jobs, presumably in the luxury yacht business, unless Choy Lee Yacht builders can do it for less, Americans are searching for reality.

     Others assign to Obama a far left-leaning posture that his first four years do not bear out.  Beyond Obama-care and a discredited attempt to build the renewable energy business, Republicans are hard pressed to show where Obama significantly strays from a centrist position.  With Obama’s clear infatuation with President Abraham Lincoln who was first a lawyer for the railroads and whose wife's Springfield, Illinois law firm employed Michelle Obama, Americans fail to see the irony. 

     Festus Green Pusley of the citizen bank watchdog group Brazen Banks Back At It Again holds advanced degrees in philosophy, economics, history and human factors engineering from Madison-Overton University. Mr. Pusley believes that the free market capitalism of the Reagan-Bush era with it “unleashing Wall Street against Main Street” and the corresponding deregulation that led to the 2008 melt-down was contrived.  “Alan Greenspan admitted that the ‘Greenspan put’ went kaput and that his worldview was flawed,” said Pusley.

     Pusley outlined what he believes is the phalanx of philosophical and theological programs aimed at justifying Greenspan’s kaput ‘put’ with high profile apologists, deep-pocketed funding within leading  U.S. academic institutions and over reaching claims of the near deification of the free market model.

     “Start at Harvard University," said Pusley.  "Harvard is the ‘West Point of Free Market Capitalism’, but it has had problems with its crop of graduates.  Many have little regard for any sense of fair play or of monitoring their own behavior.”  Pusley pointed out that Harvard had been given a grant to create a department of ethics, but turned it down.  That did not stop free marketeers from going at it from a different angle or from different schools.  "Not from the ‘West Point’ of free market capitalism, but from the ‘West Point of U.S. Intelligence'….Yale University," said Pusley.

     “The Harvard Business School was the home of Dr. Kenneth Goodpaster who left Harvard when it refused to accept funding for an ethics department.  Dabney Boles writes for CPW News:  “Was it the Koch brothers whose money was rejected because aside Skilling, Bush, Paulson and Romney it was all too obvious if the sword point was at Harvard? What will Goodpaster add to St. Thomas' Center for Ethical Business Culture’s annual Ethics Case Competition hosted by the CEBC, the University of St. Thomas Opus College of Business and UnitedHealth Group?  Case studies from real cases involving Koch Industries and UnitedHealth Group? Will he ask David Koch a simple question: Have you talked to the bees? Really talked to the bees?"  Pusley noted that it was the Kochs who funded the Goodpaster appointment at St. Thomas College.

     Pusley has tried to encourage David and Charles Koch as well Goodpaster and others to create a spiritual retreat titled Talking to the Bees:  Judeo-Christianity, Western Orthodoxy, the Free Market and John the Baptist.  "I'm not very hopeful that they would be willing to live on locusts and wild honey for a week, nor that Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney could do without Aspartame in lieu of natural bee honey and Stevia instead of Monsanto's genetically engineered corn syrup," said Pusley.

    When Harvard refused the challenge, Yale picked it up as quickly as it picked up pre-Colombian artifacts from Peru or Geronimo's skull from Oklahoma, but not under the auspices of its business school.  Instead, Yale created  the Spiritual Enterprise Institute from beneath, beside and seemingly above the chummy waters of the messy Free Market. Yale's was a divine blessing neatly made evident by generous contributions from those with a free enterprise spirituality. Pusley assumes that the funding for the rejected Harvard program was perhaps to have been given by the Koch Brothers. David and Charles' father was a founder of the John Birch Society and of Koch Industries. Following in their father’s tracks, they also supported the funding of the Tea Party with its numerous links to the Libertarians.

 

     “The line is clear," said Pusley.  "From John Birch to the Tea Party with a Remora-like attachment of the Libertarians.  Rand Paul’s father’s Congressional District is home to key Koch Industries' companies so it is logical that Rand would be a big Tea Party advocate and the Libertarian umbrella provides a physician with a philosophical framework for relieving concerns about petro-chemical dangers to human health. The Tea Party is synonymous with Petro-Chemicals and the pollution record of the Koch’s is abysmal.  They support any philosophy, ideology or, better yet, theology that supports the Old Testament notion from Genesis of “subduing the earth," Pusley asserts, "which we all know allows for substantial collateral damage." 

     "So the Yale elites, the 'West Pointers' of U.S. intelligence community, exported a similar program to the South.  Specifically to New Orleans where The Center for Spiritual Capital at the Jesuit University, Loyola, is modeled on Yale’s approach to anointing Laisse Faire Capitalism.   It was a marriage as familial as Allen Dulles' kinship to Avery Dulles, the CIA's Director and staunch Presbyterian and his cousin, the first Roman Catholic convert to become a Cardinal without first becoming a Bishop. It is there at the Jesuit's Loyola that the institutes's director, Nicholas Capaldi, an expert on the philosophy of Utilitarian, John Stuart Mill, Capaldi boldly asserts the marriage between Judeo-Christian tradition and free market economics.

   Not unlike Yale’s Spiritual Enterprise Institute, Capaldi’s Center for Spiritual Capital states:

    Loyola's goal for the center is to revitalize America's spiritual capital. Judeo-Christian heritage is the core of America's spiritual capital. As the defining element in American culture it has made possible our economic and political achievements and freedoms; these achievements cannot be sustained without that heritage; the heritage has important positive implications for commerce both nationally and globally; the heritage is often misunderstood and misrepresented, and, for all of the above reasons, the heritage needs to be reaffirmed. 
 
     The Center for Spiritual Capital  also quotes Pope John Paul II who leans more toward one of the versions of creation in Genesis than the other without noting the tension between the two (Genesis 1 and Genesis 2) that was so eloquently explored by Jewish theologian Joseph Soloveitchik in The Lonely Man of Faith.  Relinquishing the Genesis tension, the Pope said boldly if misguidedly when divorced from the two differing accounts:

     Man is made to be in the visible universe an image and likeness of God Himself, and he is placed in it in order to subdue the earth...In carrying out this mandate, every human being reflects the very action of the Creator....Organizing such a productive effort... taking necessary risks... an essential part of that work [is] initiative and entrepreneurial ability.

     This is music to the ears of the Koch brothers, to many who believe that fossil fuels are the center of the earth’s energy solutions just as the church believed that the earth was the center of the universe in spite of the evidence and the church was , therefore, deserving of silencing the critics….Copernicus and Galileo. It is music to the ears of Libertarians who historically desire, like David and Charles Koch, avoiding a $350 million pollution fine and 97 count indictment in Texas in 2000 with the election (*appointment) of George W. Bush instead of Al Gore.  Indeed, with the election of Bush, Koch’s huge fine evaporated within days like the Benzene they released into the Texas sky at 15 times the allowable level with untold pain and suffering to those who contracted various cancers from their disregard potentially injuring the families of the very people who worked for them, joined their father’s Birchers or defended them in court cases and community publicity battles. 
     According to Pusley it's not hard to understand the connections between the traditional tension of the Puritan Protestant New England Brahman families of Yale and the Roman Catholics in New Haven whose ideas would migrate South. The Protestant's marriage to the earliest Roman Catholic immigrants was slowly incorporated at Yale only to migrate somewhat to Harvard where in the cradle of Boston's burgeoning Irish Catholic culture they began to eclipse the Protestants.  The Protestants, driven by their own ambition and presbyopia that blurred the lessons of history just as it had the Catholics, both forgot the tension between Gensis 1 and Genesis 2. George Washington Riggs was in the Yale class of 1833, the same class that founded Skull & Bones.  T. Lawrason Riggs was his grandson and stands as the lynch-pin between the two faiths, equally bent on persuing a lopsided vision of the Genesis story to the detriment of the entire world.  This is the same Riggs family that incorporated the Riggs National Bank in Washington that funded Samuel F. Brown Morse's telegraph, were the bankers for countless U.S. presidents and generals and even handled the banking of Chile's brutal right-winged dictator, Augusto Pinochet.  Riggs children would mine lead and other metals used in fortifying the "Arsenal of Freedom" which many have come to believe, when seen in light of Dwight D. Eisenhowers' caution about the American Military Industrial Complex, but who also banked at Riggs Bank, is more accurately the "Arsenic of Freedom".  "They both miss the point in the definition of what is orthodox Christian belief by misreading scripture and assessing its cautions," said Pusley.  "Where orthodoxy is defined by Genesis 1 without Genesis 2, subduing the earth without concern for its proper stewardship and maintenance a natural orthodoxy will sooner or later be proscribed."

 

     “Logically, Capaldi’s New Orleans based spirituality center would have a counterpart in Houston, the center of the world’s petro-chemical empire where hospitals like M.D. Anderson, smack dab in the center of the petro-chemical cloud touts its wonderful breakthroughs in cancer research.   Meanwhile, at Massachusetts Institute of Technology where the Koch brothers fund cancer research the announcement was recently made of the drastic reduction in the cost of production of proton-beam radiology therapy devices aimed at killing things like Benzene produced cancers,” said Pusley.

     “At Rice University is Libertarian apologist and ‘ethicist’, Hugo Tristram Engelhardt.  Engelhardt wrote a watershed book on bio-medical ethics, The Foundations of Bioethics, and then after several years, provided a second edition that was a kind of proof-texting of Biblical justifications for Libertarianism.   Engelhardt works within the shadow of the James A. Baker Center for Public Policy with its longstanding ties to George H.W. Bush and to the Union Pacific Railroad through Baker’s ancestors.  Rice is also the home of Kenneth Pitzer, a recipient of the Robert Alonzo Welch Award for chemistry, a president of Rice, close associate of chemist Norman Hackerman, also president of Rice and University of Texas.  Pitzer, together with William  Liscum Borden, provided the testimony needed to strip J. Robert Oppenheimer of his national security clearance when Oppenheimer joined other scientists like Albert Einstein in rejecting the unbridled militarization of the atom bomb with creation of a larger hydrogen bomb.   Oppenheimer, presumably a communist based on the Borden and Pitzer testimony, was replaced by Dr. Edward Teller, the Dr. Strangelove of the nuclear arms race.   I prefer to view the problems in the same way that Yale’s William Sloane Coffin viewed the civil rights issue when he was asked by William F. Buckley if he wasn’t trying to be Utopian.  ‘We have a long way to go before we have to worry about becoming idolatrous in our pursuit of a better world,’" said Pusley summarizing Coffin's rebuttal to Buckley's charge. 

     “A Roman Catholic trained at Tulane in medicine and at the University of Texas in philosophy, Engelhardt, who grew up in the small German town of New Braunfels north of San Antonio where Allen Dulles imported the Nazi scientists through Operation Paperclip, where AT&T, the company whose fiber optics cable splitters in San Luis Abispo and San Francisco read everyone's email and where the NSA is currently building a monolithic storage facility for housing the mountains of data collected with or without search warrants in a facility the size of the Alamo Dome and where the first school in the U.S. is forcing students to carry computer tracking devices, found a kindred spirit in Capaldi.  Capaldi, whose appreciation of John Stuart Mill’s utilitarianism is not far removed from Libertarianism, nor from Adam Smith or Milton Friedman’s Laisse Faire Capitalism, is well pleased," said Pusley.
    "While the widely acclaimed German theologian, Karl Barth, would argue that one could not read the Bible without concluding that ‘Democracy was ordained by God,’ trying to lay a clear line around Christianity’s endorsement of Adam Smith or any other economic philosophy is much more problematic.  Engelhardt, whose interest in pharmacology is also incorporated into his research has become a member of the Eastern Orthodox Church citing its powerlessness in comparison to Western Christianity as part of its overall appeal,” said Pusley.  "Copernicus and Galileo would not need a weaker form of Christianity to get their ideas across, but rather the marriage of science to a stronger form of Christianity under the single-mindedness of Martin Luther which serendipitously piggy-backed Gutenberg's advances in Northern Europe and breaking down the church's misguided parochialism," said Pusley noting that Yale, Loyola and St. Thomas were resurrecting the old model to protect the petro-chemical industry.
     “Capaldi remains tied to the Jesuit school, Loyola, with its unswerving faithfulness to Western Christian Orthodoxy as he sees it. The Koch brothers remain attach to nearly any school that will promote their philosophy....from MIT to the Roman Catholic Saint Thomas University where Kenneth Goodpaster now teaches.  At Massachusetts Institute of Technology is the David H. Koch Center for Integrative Cancer Research,” Pusley continued.

     Pusley sees a pattern.  “You can draw a line between these entities, take a step back and see a not so well disguised system of ideological mass aimed at encapsulating the contributions of the petro-chemical industry as a divinely ordered asset that centers on the spiritual capital it provides...or more precisely....on the capital it gives and then spiritualizes.  Does it provide a skewed view of spiritual capital?  Most assuredly.  It's as different as St. Francis of Assisi was from his father, whose cloth dying businesses gave workers a deadly rash....leading to Francis' now famous stroll though Assisi buck naked.  Francis was not unlike Jim Morrison of the Doors whose father was the U.S. Navy Admiral in charge of the Vietnam War's Gulf of Tonkin affair which William Sloan Coffin also abhorred.   Francis was a peaceful version of William Ayers whose father was on a dozen U.S. military complex company boards during the same Vietnam era.  More recently there is John Walker Lindh, the quirky American Taliban, whose father was a chief attorney for Pacific Gas and Electric, the well-polluting company made famous in the Erin Brockovich story,” said Pusley who added...."needless to say, John Walker Lindh is not likely to enroll at either Yale or Loyola's spirituality programs when he is released from prison, though he might never have joined the nutcake Taliban with their wretched treatment of women among other atrocities, had things been more circumspect and the tension described by Soloveitchik even marginally maintained."

RECORD JP MORGAN GAINS

RECORD JP MORGAN HAUL SHOWS WALL STREET BANKERS STILL POCKETING PROFITS FROM MORTGAGE/BAIL OUT MONEY SHELL GAME

By Romulus Roeamerson for CPW News Services

    With JP Morgan Chase Bank announcing record profits for the third quarter of 2012, and as its CEO complains of too much regulation, skeptics are increasingly aware that bailout money that would have been used to fix the toxic asset problems or to fund small businesses, instead has been “pocketed like a sick old widowers’ peanuts in the jowls of his cheeks which he swallows when the doctors and nurses aren’t looking,” said Festus Green Pusley of the citizen bank watchdog group Brazen Banks Back At It Again.  "According to Sheila Bair the head of the FDIC during the meltdown, less than 5% of community banks failed.  Meaning that they were doing a good job in regulating themselves.  It was the gluttonous Mr. Potter's crushing little George Bailey's S&L, just as Frank Capra showed us in his moive It's A Wonderful Life.....de javu all over again," said Pusley.

 

     “Think of old JP Morgan’s bulbous nose sucking up taxpayers money from the Hank Paulson bailout we were told would be used for one thing and then the bank inhaling it for another and announcing a huge profit.  Now, get ready for JP Morgan’s  engorgement to work its way through JP's equally disgusting intestinal track to plop and drop another big one on the U.S. economy only to tell us how good this is for everybody," said Pusley looking to the coming bond bubble.

    Pusley believes that the quicker the banks can be challenged by the placement of the entire Social Security System on the gold standard the better off the nation will be as it digs itself out of its $14 trillion debt.  "The SS Gold Bank can loan members 20% of their SS gold value for only 60 months," said Pusley.  "That's long enough to grow a garden in your back yard and some chickens to feed your family, but don't mortgage your house again if it's paid off.  A hand full of Rhode Island Reds will drop a couple of thousand eggs a year.  Omelets for everyone!  If you're house is paid for, but you can't afford the electricity, try turning your swimming pool or spa into a fish farm.  The future looks bright especially when we know it is backed by gold."




CLICK TO ENLARGE

 

    “If we secure the Social Security Program with gold and leave the U.S. fiat currency on the “In God We Trust” formula allowing people to have their “gives us this day our DAILY bread” instead of socking it away like Mitt Romney and his mega wealthy cronies, the country will move forward nicely, steadily, but while shrinking JP Morgan’s gargantuan snot locket.”

OBAMA'S FREEZE UP?

And the Flame Thrower He Should Use:  My Second Term: Killing the Monopolistic Oligarchy with its Too Big To Fail and Too Small To Succeed.

by Winsip Custer, CPW News Services

   The proffered reasons for Obama’s passionless first debate are many:  It was his anniversary and his mind was elsewhere; he was ill prepared to do combat because of a proclivity to reasoned judgment that is excellent for a world leader, but bad for a politician needing to duke it out with a vulture capitalist;  He was suffering from jet-lag and a maladjustment to oxygen depletion at 5,000 feet in the Denver Rockies.  So his performance was, well, rocky.

    According to Farnsworth Livermore, chairman of the Society for Devilish Debating Tactics, Obama must face his darkest….or in this case whitest demons….as he enters the next two debates.  “Obama is not in a bad position.  He didn’t drool all over himself.  He made no serious gaffs.  He was just far too kind.  He must never again use Donald Trump’s name in his debate.  So Trump is considered by Romney as a small businessman. Make a joke of that in the other direction.  Trump is no small businessman. He's a monopolist like the one's that Teddy Roosevelt took on as a Bull Moose.  Be a Bull Moose!  If Romney is penis waving, show him that yours is, indeed, longer!" said Livermore.  "The important thing is that when Obama raised Trumps name he also dropped the birth certificate issue on the table like an anvil.  He doesn’t need that.  At all.”

     Livermore, believes that Obama must look defiantly into the camera and smile assuredly as he whittles Romney down to size.  “Rick Perry is a very respected Republican leader, Mr. Romney, who considers you to be a vulture.  And don’t say that he has his flaws.  We all have his flaws, but he is not part of a religious group that Howard Hugh’s people called the Mormon Mafia.  Does your Mormon faith forbid mafia style tactics as mine does, sir?  Vultures eat road kill and that is what your kind have made of the U.S. economy and its workers.  Did your father help American workers like Clint Eastwood's Walt Kowalski? Or did he shut them down?  And if he didn't why don't his genes run through your veins, sir?  You sir would have killed the company that made the Gran Torino (never mind that Ford made the Gran Torino....let his fact checkers point that out later and since Ford was a monopolist, too, his myth needs to do double duty as tribute to the nation for Ford's place in the  "business plotter" of the 1930's that would have had us marching in goose step with Hitler's Nazi Party), just like you wanted to do with GM?  GM the company that bought H. Ross Perot’s, Electronic Data Systems, a proud Texas company that made Mr. Perot a billionaire by supporting Social Security , its management and efficiency.   Why should we put your kind back in charge, Mr. Romney?  You, sir, believe in too big to fail and too small to succeed.  And when I said that if you were successful in business, you didn't get there on your own, you, Mr. Romney, are a perfect example of that.  Lee Iacocca is an example of that.  AIG whose initial fortunes were made from a guaranteed U.S. government assured mail route across the Pacific is another.  Henry Ford needed the assembly line workers and the taxpayer's roads, did he not?  Or are all Ford's car off road vehicles?  Was Las Vegas built in the desert without the Hoover Dam and its cheap electricity made by the WPA partnership with American Capitalism and its people and their taxes?  Did NASA go to the moon without government partnership with private businesses... many new ones?  Will the energy crisis and ecology problem be solved without this partnership?  It was Republican leadership that tore down the wise and balanced restraints that would have prevented the need for a bail out by Mr. Bush, Mr. Paulson, and Mr. Greenspan who admitted his ideology was flawed and that we all know has now left to the future the job of sweeping up the mess they left in Iraq and Afghanistan.  It is your party, sir, that pushed the hardest for the export of American jobs, so to say that you are now a jobs builder is a bit disingenuous.  No! It's laughable, then solemn and then sad when coupled with the way the too big to fail banks are sitting on the funding that could build and sustain the middle class.  I am not willing to strap our future to your vision or pummel it into the ground with the hope that your are being truthful about the direction you will take us.  How can we trust your values when they are vulture values?  Well America is NOT a carcass, sir.   (Yes, you MUST continually resurrect the vision of Romney putting Nixon's little dog Checkers on the roof of the car and also egging on the homophobes!) Why else have our jobs flown like a giant sucking sound out of the country while your kind withholds loans to flexible, agile small  businesses, then complains of the sluggish economy and proposes to profit off of a system that has educated students for the 200 plus years of American history as an investment in our future.  Your kind, sir, would cut the backbone of this great country into pieces, while your supporters are slicing and dicing our once proud businesses to get at their retirement programs and other assets?  In my second term I will take on the monopolies in a way that will make Teddy Roosevelt look like Casper Milquetoast to bring a revitalized nation back into balance and power.  I will offer a prescription for a nation liberated from the control of the business monopolies and their deadly principle:  Too big to fail and too small to succeed.  That is a vulture capitalist’s dream and a monopolist’s creed.   It is also the assault on America's middle-class.   Well that’s a thing of the past.  The future of this country is in new opportunities and a dismantling of the old business models.  Enron, WorldCom, Columbia/HCA, Countrywide, Tyco, Lehman Brothers, Goldman Sachs, the graceless narcissism or raping and pillaging of the U.S. economy will stop in my second term.  We went to the moon with government help and a consortium of new businesses that like the integration of the U.S. military during World War II helped everyone become better off....that's needed now.    I stopped the $60 billion dollar Iraq War that now has cost us $4 trillion.  That will not happen again just to line the pockets of  your buddies on Wall Street while real innovations in sustainable projects are bombed into oblivion.  We'll fight terrorism worldwide with sanity and hope and not death and destruction.   Something like that, Mr. Custer,” Livermore continued.



Teddy Roosevelt's iconic bear
now made in China for FAO Schwarz

     Livermore said that CNN’s Chris Mathews’ criticism of Obama needed to be tempered. Who was Tip O’Neil’s aide?  Mathews.   Chris needs to remember that Obama does not have the history in street fighting that John F. Kennedy had as a Boston Irishman caught between his father's fascist leanings and poor minorities of Boston.  “Kennedy had to know that if you take on this group with a populace idea….like the fact that monopolies are bad, while making new opportunities and  the required bank funding for new American enterprises are good….and what bigger monopoly is there than the trade agreements that shipped our jobs to totalitarian governments where the workers make pennies a day while the vulture capitalists sock away their money in the Cayman Islands….that they will come after you.    Today, FAO Schwartz makes Teddy Roosevelt's iconic "Teddy Bear" in China for pennies an hour.  Obama must look himself in the mirror and ask himself ‘Do I really want this job?  Am I really willing to pay the ultimate price?  What if it means that my wife is holding my head in her hands?  That is, after all, what happened to an Irish Catholic, what might happen to an African-American?” asked Livermore who did not feel that Mr. Obama's accomplishments could be compared to the Presidency of Abraham Lincoln.  "Lincoln was a Republican lawyer who worked for the railroad interests whose primary design for the South was securing a flat rail route from their Southern ports to San Diego, California.   The high road of abolitionism was used to secure a speedy rail route to the Pacific and the power elites' riches from the China Trade of the New Englanders who used the Irish Catholics to fight their battles for them," said Livermore who also noted that Michele Obama worked in the Springfield, Illinois law firm of the Republican lawyers who represented Mrs. Mary Todd Lincoln.

     "There will be those who point out that Teddy Roosevelt failed in his Bull Moose bid and was eclipsed by the leader of all international monopolists and corporate cabals, Woodrow Wilson.  Why recall Roosevelt's loss?    Because the issue is the same today as then when Roosevelt lost and then supported his close friend Robert Taft who is a much a monopolist as J.P. Morgan, Jay Gould or E.H. Harriman.  The issue is the same, only more pressing than ever.  Instead of an American power elite, a Roosevelt, calling for change, it is someone who has inspired the greatest change in America since George Washington, MLK and JFK. Strike a match, Mr. President.  Light the pilot.  Let'er rip," said Livermore, "but before you do go and read what George Washington faced from England's monopolists if he had lost.  You know what happened to JFK and MLK already."

     Livermore believes that if Obama is absent from the next two debates as he was in the first, then he was all along a shill for those who wish to give Americans the illusion of a choice, but without really giving them one.  "If he refuses to go after the monopolists and Romney as their agent of the status quo and their return to Enron and bail out years, then Mr. and Mrs. Obama's connections to the Sidley Austin and Brown and Wood law firms of Springfield, Illniois and New York, combined with Barack's silence means that he provided a respite from the brutality that defined the Bush legacy.  His silence would support the U.S. power elites who would reconstitute that brutality so that they can continue to kill the middle class, the environment and the nation as it circles the drain with Obama lounging in the accomplishment of being the first 'man of color' to get this far, but not as crazy as Washington, JFK and MLK in wanting to go further," said  Livermore.  "Controlled by what John Perkins has called the 'corporatocracy'", Obama's silence will be evidence that they got to him," Livermore concluded.

     "And if Obama fails to go for the jugular in debates two and three, Bill Clinton's speech at the Democratic Convention about the Republicans wrecking the economy and Obama not cleaning it up fast enough for them, will have been a smoke screen.  Bill Clinton, you will recall, signed into law the death of Glass-Steagall, the bill that had policed Wall Street after the 1929 Great Depression from 1933 to 1999, just before GWB took office and tanked the economy.  Combined with Clinton's support of GATT and NAFTA, Obama's silence will be evidence of the fact that it is always darkest just before pitch black.  Clinton's governorship of Arkansas during the Iran-Contra years when Mena was used as a drug transhipment site for the Reagan-Bush White House pipeline to the Sandinista, would be evidence of Obamas' complacency and of Clinton, too," said Livermore.

ROSS PEROT RETURNS FOR 11th HOUR REMINDER

DAVID WALKER:  ROSS PEROT SET STAGE FOR CLINTON ERA FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY.  NEEDED AGAIN.

by Winsip Custer, CPW News Services

     With George Walker Bush’s  eight year plunge of the U.S. into a fiscal morass and unnecessary wars that Barack Obama desires four more years to correct and as Mitt Romney,  his critics charge, wishes to reconstitute with renewed deregulation, Ross Perot is returning to the political stage, but from the wings .

"Does Ross Perot not know that David Walker is a talker and NOT a real walker?"  
                                 -Portnoy Seather

     As Perot appears in interviews with CBS and CSPAN this week, David Walker, former U.S. Comptroller General, says that Ross Perot’s 1992 candidacy set the stage for eight years of the Clinton era's fiscal maturity with a resulting budget surplus.  Since then, war with its unbridled military budgeting had George W. Bush appointing Stuart Bowen as the head of  Iraq reconstruction effort.   Bowen’s staff members criticized Bowen’s oversight of his $50 billion budget, a number that was within $10 billion of Bush’s initial total projection for the entire cost of the Iraq war which is now over $4 trillion.   Bowen would  earn for his questionable work in Iraq the David Walker Excellence in Government Award for Performance and Accountability.  Former Perot supporters are lining up to ask Mr. Perot to explain how the waste and fraud in the Iraq War would deserve an award in performance and accountability.

     Ross Perot had warned in 1992 that the passing of GATT and NAFTA would mean the loss of U.S. jobs and the death of the U.S. Middle Class.  George Herbert Walker Bush supported the GATT and NAFTA bill as did Mr. Clinton whose sex scandals were accompanied  by a close relationship with a Chinese lobbyist whose company’s workers are essentially slaves of a totalitarian regime.  In May 2000, just after GWB's appointment by the U.S. Supreme Court, Bill Clinton's work of normalizing trading relations with China, a 2000  page document during the '92 debate, initiated over the previous ten years spanning the GHWB, Clinton and GWB administrations, was nearly 30,000 pages when it was passed by Congress and signed into law by George Walker Bush.  This gave China a place at the World Trade Organization table as an equal trading partner in spite of its abysmal human rights record.   China also failed to hold the U.S. accountable for its partnership in keeping the Chinese people enslaved from roughly the middle of the 19th Century by the "China Trade'.  Enslaved by drugs during the historic East-West opium wars fueled by an economic battle over who  would control the exploitation of the Chinese population as the British empire lost out to the U.S..    This foreign domination led to the Chinese Cultural Revolution and its distaste for Western Christian missionaries and to a new  Communist Chinese political ideology that, not unlike unregulated Capitalism, has disregard for the actual ecological stewardship costs that would responsibly include proper care of human "capital". 
   Others pointed out that while Bill Clinton left the nation with a surplus after eight years and identified with the oppressed, his home state of Arkansas was the base for known drug smuggling through Mena with its airport being a key link to the Iran-Contra program and to Barry Seal's drug distribution system and its CIA employment of Eugene Hausenfus, the clandestine pilot whose downing blew the lid off the Iran-Contra network.  Little Rock was home to the key Iran-Contra bank, BCCI.  The Arkansas politician saddled with protecting Seal as a Federal witness, Asa Hutchinson, was promoted to the highest DEA office after Seal's murder.  "Was GATT and NAFTA more than a vacuum for American jobs?" asked another critic of the Bush/Clinton trade agreement.

"We Are beginning to look more and more like extinct dinosaurs with too much armor and too little brain."   -William Sloane Coffin

     Portnoy Seather president of the Council For Guileless Transparency in Bethesda, Maryland asked of the new union between David Walker and Ross Perot, “Does Perot not know that David Walker is talker and not a real walker?  I believe that David Walker, like Scott Walker, Governor of Minnesota, is a member of a criminal family in the U.S. that ties to the brutal 19th Century filibusterer, William Walker, who was, like Aaron Burr, always trying to carve out his own kingdom and appoint himself monarch or dictator-for-life.  He wanted a world where slavery was legal and the social and ecological cost of his ventures were never accounted for.  For that the Hondurans shot him, while many of William Walker's  military misadventures inspired among his followers and kin in the Western Hemisphere  a private imperialism hidden beneath the umbrella of the 'Monroe Doctrine'.... a political position which many Hondurans today call the 'Moron Doctrine.'" 

     Seather continued...."Ross Perot dropped out of the 1992 presidential campaign citing danger to his family.  What the hell was that all about?" asked Seather.  "And if he was so articulate during the 1992 Presidential debates about the screwing that the U.S. was going to take with the ‘giant sucking’ sound  of jobs heading out of the country that is still buzzing in our ears, why is he not being more transparent about all these other dubious connections?”

     Seather questions Perot's sincerity.  "If I find out that Perot who made his fortunes by computerizing Social Security records for the U.S. government, is close to Rev. John Franklyn Norris, the Ft. Worth/Dallas preacher who was a close friend of the John Birch who was killed in China evangelizing on the one hand while keeping silent about the U.S. drug connections on the other, and whose dubius mission was memorialized by Fred Koch of Koch Industries who paid for the creation of the John Birch Society and was building Hitler's refineries in Germany while men like Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone, John Burroughs and Prescott Bush comprised the 'Business Plot' of the the 1930's and whose push toward chemical pesticides has been killing the world's bees?  Well then!  And with George Walker Bush living in Dallas not far from Perot and with General Edwin Walker, a known John Bircher,  who was supposedly nearly assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald, I'm going to understand why Perot dropped out of the 1992 Presidential campaign on such short notice.  But if he wants to leave a really lasting legacy for his children and grandchildren, he should join with us in the Council for Guileless Transparency and go totally clean.  There's no disinfectant like sunlight and openness," said Seather.  "Winston Churchill said '...that in time of war the truth must be guarded by a body guard of lies.'  Well, these guys are all trained in endless warfare so you can't believe a goddamn thing they say.  Nothing. Nada. Zippo!  If these leaders don't grow up and lead or move over and let someone else do so, we are in for a long dark winter of discontent leading to annihilation," complained Seather as he adjusted his toupe' and his left lifter-loafer, both made in Communist China.

HARVARD'S DEEP THROAT SWALLOWS SILENCE

"WEST POINT OF CAPITALISM MIRED IN MUCK"

by Dabney Boles for CPW News Services

     Calling himself “Harvard’s Deep Throat”, a tenured professor of the Harvard Business School has leveled scathing criticism of Harvard’s place as “The West Point of Capitalism”.

     Minutes after Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadjinedad completed his speech to the United Nations calling for non aligned nations to play a larger role in their own self determination, “HDT” claimed that the pint-sized Iranian leader was essentially correct in his assessment of Capitalism’s inability to offer a workable solution to the world’s problems.   “The old Soviet style Socialism is gone, thank God, and there we are bogging down and not able to tell Iran that the only way we really make money, big money, is by bombing the holy hell out of nations like theirs that are rich in oil deposits,” said HDT.

     “I knew it was time for a change when my son came in asking for money to get his ears pierced and for some tattoos and nipple rings.  ‘They were going to pierce my ears for $85 and I got them to drop it to  $75 with sterling silver posts thrown in,'" HDT's son told him. 

     "I told him I’d cut off both ears with a meat cleaver for $5 each and he wouldn’t need silver posts.  That’s the trouble with American Capitalism today.  Nobody knows the value of anything anymore and while I hate to say it, that sawed-off Iranian is essentially correct.  It all started in the mid-80’s, or at least it was accelerated then.  I remember that a concerned mega-wealthy American businessman wanted to donate a few million for an ethics department at the Harvard Business School.  We turned it down.  People come here to learn the ins and outs of cheating without getting caught and how to hide vast sums undetected.  Guys like Jeffrey Skilling of Enron, George W. Bush of Harken Energy, Henry Paulson of Goldman Sachs, Mitt Romney of Bain Capital.”
     When asked if he thought that the recent announcement by Professor Karen L. Kennedy of the Harvard Divinity School of a Coptic papyra that spoke of Jesus being married was authentic HDT said, “We all have our doubts about that deal and about the timing on the story that sits hand in hand with that movie Innocence of Muslims by that weird Coptic fruitcake.  I’d want to know how Dr. Kennedy is related to J. Peter Grace of the Grace Kennedy conglomerate and to Grace Kennedy Inc. Jamaica,” said HDT. “It's there in Jamaica where Coptic Christians are the squirreliest bunch of toke smokers you’ve ever seen, but who have all but carried the little island's economy for decades.  On top of that," said HDT, "Dr. Kenneth Goodpaster, the 'father of ethics at Harvard' always said privately that the direction we were going in was going to come back and bite us all big time in our misguided butts.  Goodpaster didn't like leaving the question of business ethics to the Divinity School instead of to our own core curriculum and if it turns out that Professor Kennedy is the niece of Peter Grace's Kennedy connection and a Coptic connection through Jamaica to Egypt, the school will be up to its jowls in a soupy moral sludge deeper that its current one.  Then I'll be ready to roll a big one on the roof of the administration building...thank you Jamaican Coptics.  And when I'm really super mellow I'll ask myself  'since Professor Goodpaster is now the Koch Professor of ethics at St. Thomas University in Minneapolis, does he feel conflicted about his stand on ethics?  Was it the Koch brothers whose money was rejected because aside Skilling, Bush, Paulson and Romney it was all too obvious?  Will Goodpaster add to St. Thomas' Center for Ethical Business Culture’s annual Ethics Case Competition hosted by the CEBC, the University of St. Thomas Opus College of Business and UnitedHealth Group, case studies from real cases involving Koch Industries and UnitedHealth Group?  Will he ask David Koch a simple question: Have you talked to the bees?  Really talked to the bees?'" asked HDT as he was packing boxes of text books and loading them onto a U-haul trailer.

COPTIC PROBABILITIES

Timing of Coptic Film and Coptic Papyrus Fragment Raises Issue of Political Use of Religion as Tool of Mass Manipulation

Statistician Formulates Probabilities for Jesus’ Wife and Anti-Mohamed Movie in One Week

by Carmine Freidman for CPW News Services

     Engelbert Rhinegold of the Rhinegold Institute in Prague has formulated the probability that two front page news articles containing the word “Coptic” would appear within the same overlapping news cycle.

     “Our computers collect, weigh and analyze benchmarks for the probability that a news story is innocently released without any attempt to manipulate the masses.  By reversing the process we can tell if stories have a high probability that they were used by major news outlets as tools of mass manipulation.

     With Ghulam Ahmad Bilour, Pakistan’s Railways Minister and one of the most powerful figures in Pakistan’s key coalition partner, the Awami National Party, making overtures to Taliban and al-Qaeda forces to kill Nakoula Basseley Nakoula for his release of the film Innocence of Muslims, others are calling for calm analysis of the real motivations for the films production and distribution.

     No one provides calm analysis like Englebert Rhinegold, a third generation professor with actuarial science, statistics and computer science PhD’s..

     “With a bounty on the head of Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, the U.S.-based Egyptian Coptic Christian behind the film Innocence of Muslims, many want to know if the embassy riots across the Muslim world are spontaneous or the result of an elaborate prankster who provided the film as a cover for misadventure and not by the sane elements of the American leadership.   America’s enemies could have a stake in setting off a culture war.  Or it could have been done by America’s own wayward elements like the money hungry U.S. Military Industrialist complex that claims to be the Arsenal of Freedom, when it may actually be poisoning the well of human society as the Arsenic of Freedom.  It is difficult to tell,” said Rhinegold.

     This is exactly where Rhinegold’s statistical probabilities come to the forefront.  “It is well known that Al Qaeda was spawned in Egypt within the Muslim Brotherhood to help the Mujaheddin fight the Russians in Afghanistan and that happened in Hosni Mubarak’s country where the CIA provided significant support and stability, but through repressive terroristic tactics.  Then comes the 'Arab Spring' which was initially a thirst for freedom, not the promulgation of Islamic fundamentalism.  Something doesn’t fit the scenario.  Frankly, when I first saw the two Coptic stories in the same paper the connections made my gut twist into knots.  I got up at 2 a.m. that morning and came to the office to begin the analysis.  Robert Baer, former CIA agent and author of Syriana and Sleeping with the Devil, has told how the rank and file CIA members had nothing on Al Qaeda in their files in 1988 when CIA agent, Matt Gannon,  son-in-law of the CIA’s Middle East Bureau Chief, Thomas Tweeton, returned to Washington to ask why agents had nothing on Al Qaeda in their files.  Matt died on Pan Am 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland.  The CIA within the CIA stopped him in mid-air along with scores others on their way to school or to see grandma.  Many within the agency fear that anything, therefore, is possible with respect to the Coptic stories," said Rhinegold.

     Of special interest to Rhinegold was the Coptic Church’s connections in the West.  “Dr. Karen L. King's release of the Coptic reed napkin-sized memo seems to have been rushed.  Harvard was to have provided peer review of King's story.  The publication of Professor King's Coptic fragment finding and claims, we are now told by Harvard theologians, was only a work in progress.  Oops. I would want to know if Nakoula Basseley Nakoula is a member of the Jamaica Coptic Church before moving to Hollywood.  Did he migrate there through the Jamaican Ministry of Economics and Star Island, Florida?  The  Jamaica Coptic Church has long been known to support the entire economy of Jamaica with the sale of junga or hemp….Marijuana.  Grace Kennedy Inc. is a major import-exporter in Jamaica.  With Mrs. Kings’s connections to Harvard, I would want to know if a recent Harvard Business School graduate who worked at Grace Kennedy Inc. before joining RMP Inc., an Orlando, Florida company with extensive ties to the Jamaica Ministry of Economics, informs any aspect of this bizarre convergence.  Dr. King was a Brown University graduate before coming to Harvard.  Her Coptic fragment, some say, is cryptic popycock and that it seems to support the notions of Ron Brown’s The Da Vinci Code.  Ron’s father taught at Phillips Exeter Academy which feeds students, to a great degree,  intoYale University.  If Harvard is the "West Point of American Capitalism", particularly the Harvard Business School which has graduated some real doozies, and if Yale is the "West Point for U.S. Intelligence Services"...and you don't have to see The Good Shepherd to see what doozies are there, too, it is quite possible that the doubling down of these two Coptic stories in a single news cycle is for nothing more that the manipulation of mass hysteria. My analysis proves it,” said Rhinegold.

     Walter Becker, of the British group Friends of the Holy Blood and The Holy Grail, claims that Ron Brown stole the ideas in his book The Da Vinci Code from The Holy Blood and The Holy Grail by Henry Lincoln and Michael Baigent.  "Brown did it in order to fill Brown family owned hotels near France’s Louve and art district and I thought The Da Vinci Code looked like a snow job in hell and a massive tourism promotion for the Mona Lisa.  If it worked as that kind of propaganda, why not in fueling the world's fear of a roaming Islamic boogie man that can replace our lost fear of the Soviet Union while elevating the role of women in the Islamic culture where they are clearly oppressed?   Two birds.  One stone. Mind science at it creepiest.  With women of the West controlling 80% of the purchases it's a no-brainer for Wall Street, Madison Avenue and the French clothes designers anxious to tap a vast untapped market and to put their touches on an enormous blank slate....burkas.  Just like Park Ave. and Paris did in replacing buckskin with cotton and silk blends in the U.S..”
    
     Rhinegold’s statistical analysis will be released on January 1, 2013.  “I wanted to give the statisticians of the world the chance to make their own critical analysis of the probabilities on this one.  Plus I am working on patenting the software that makes instantaneous analysis of news releases.  For a small monthly fee, a subscriber is able to see the probabilities of the truthfulness of all news stories.   All of the world’s citizens will know with some degree of probability the truth of a story so that they don’t spontaneously erupt into some deadly show of emotion that is unjustified just because somebody released some pathetic film or Coptic gnostic gobbledegook.  My program is called Serius Truth.”

    George De Vereanim, curator of Società per lo Studio della Propaganda Religiosa in Cypress believes that the release of the anti-Islamic film by Coptic Christians and the simultaneous release of the  very short reference to Jesus' wife by Harvard's Professor King to be "the kind of synergystic inflamatory news release that our organization has studied through the years and often perpetuated by those with an unexpressed unilateral ambition for controlling a region.  This sets into motion tensions to justify some other action, usually military, to line the pockets of the weapons dealers who make money on both sides of any conflict and who live far away from the fields of battle drinking champagne, eating caviar and watching style shows with Islamic Royals."

New IPhone Flubs Mapping Function

IPhone Maps Needs a Patch

by C. Severenson Johnson for CPW News Services

     While thousands of buyers stand in line to purchase the new IPhone, many other purchasers have noticed that the map function of the new phone does not work.   In comparison to Goggle’s map function, the IPhone map function often misses the mark leading the traveler to the wrong location or to no location at all.

     “It doesn’t’ matter that aspects of the IPhone don't work.  People want the IPhone.  They are loyal to the idea of the IPhone, even when the device is flawed.”

     Fred La Joya  of the group Flaws In Cultural Conditioning, said “when it comes to people’s own cultural heritage it’s the same thing.  People are blinded by some features of their own cultural, religious or racial heritage in spite of the fact that these loyalties no longer serve a larger good.  What good is it to wholly embrace anything when aspects of that heritage don’t  serve any real purpose.  What greater purpose is there than to put you on the human map?”

     Gerhardt Koke Rhineholdt, program director for Flaws in Cultural Conditioning, says that the programs he has designed for the group build awareness of limitation in blind allegiance.  “I’m German and we pride ourselves in being excellent engineers.  Our automobiles are marvels of engineering perfection, well, semi-perfection, but in the end they are all four wheels under a soot chugging, carbon monoxide coughing killing machine.   They may race you to the local hospital to when you've had a heart attack from eating too much and walking too little, but at what price? They spill their toxins into the air instead of into a concentration camp shower.  A whole new way of looking at cars must take place before the kind of needed changes.  I'd recommend passing a law that makes it illegal to build cars in any style other than the shape of cigarette.  We know that cigarettes are cancer puff sticks and dangerous to your health.  We put it on the package, but a bright new red Masserati, Mercedes or BMW masks what it really is and does.   Thank you Sigmund Freud, Ed Bernays and Albert Lasker, the triplet siblings of Wall Street's high priests, the mad men of Madison Avenue.  While German mechanics use a torque wrench to tighten the bolts on most cars, Mercedes are built with each bolt aligning to its own forged torque level indicator on each bolt head and engine.  On the other hand, just because we know how to engineer effective high quality tools, that doesn’t mean that we always use them correctly.  Take our chemical engineers, for example.  Zyklon B was a wonderful rat poison, but it should never have been used on people just because IG Farben made it.   Methadone is a wonderful substitute for opium, morphine and heroin, but just because the IG Farben chemists synthesized it  from chemicals doesn’t mean that those nations that have traditionally made the non-synthetic forms from the poppy plant… Turkey, Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, Indo-China and other areas associated with religious terrorism should fund their cultural traditions with the sale of these products that inevitably enslave another.“

     Paddy O’Malley, the group’s secretary, said he joined when he was tired of hearing that his Irish heritage was known for great whiskey distilling providing his cousins fortunes during Prohibition, but also made them great lushes who in O’Malley’s words “are always testing their products far too much.  Particularly on weekends.”

     Wesley Butler, whose family traces its heritage to a close knit company of swinging butlers who served the Tudor kings and queens of England, said “We watched how Henry VIII would swing from his stag horn chandelier before plopping down on top of one of the Bolynn girls and while following his example is what created our family, it’s not something that we are proud of."

     Mohammed Hussein Iman, the group’s treasurer, said “I began to question blind allegiance to cultural heritage when my eight sisters were circumcised without sterile instruments or anesthetics.  I asked myself “how can this be when there’s all those poppies?  So then I began to question the need for that elective surgery when there were so many children with hair lips.  When you've gotta have an Iman for this and an Iman for that, keepin' up with the Imans is just not where it's at.”

     La Hoya admitted that he is most troubled by plastic pink flamingoes in the front of his mother’s pink and orange house, but that he would never apologize for the music of Tomas Jobim.  “And I don’t think that Gypsies should apologize for the music of D’jango Reinhardt or the Gypsy Kings,” said La Hoya.  "And the proudest aspect of my Spanish culture is the lessons learned from Cabaza de Vaca, who did not apologize for the Spanish knowledge of fine steel sword making, but who laid it down after his journey's from Florida to Mexico and back to Spain using only his wits.  He was a modern Renaissiance man who knew that living by the sword means non-sustainability and a living hell on earth.  Now, excuse.  I have to go and get one of those new IPhones," said La Hoya.