by Flavis Violentius Smith CPW News Services
"There is no indication that the use of sugar in chocolate milk increases childrens' sugar problems, such as diabetes," said one industry spokesperson.
Dr. Winnie Wilma Dumasawekup of the Nairobi Institute for the Monitoring of Food Additives said "how stupid do people think Americans are? Just look at the obesity levels in American school children whose record increases in hydrogenated food products, high-fructose corn syrup in sugary drinks and even chocolate milk is at an all-time high. This does NOT impact these little growing bundles of blubber?" asked Dumasawekup who also expressed concerns about the removal of routine exercise in public schools.
Dumasawekup believes that as with the approval of cigarettes so long as they carry a health warning, "things can kill you quickly or slowly. Slowly is legal. Faster is usually illegal. Cyanide laced candy would be a no-no, but Aspartame is okay though it contains Formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is good for morticians, but not so good for little boys and girls. "
Dumasawekup said that the issues with Aspartame began when the J.D. Searle Company, the patent holder for the product, hired former U.S. Defense Secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, to drop kick the Searle product around the stringent FDA approval process using his K-Street and other government connections.
"Richard Nixon didn't call Mr. Rumsfeld that 'ruthless little bastard' for nothing," said Dr. Dumasawekup who added that the world did not need the Abu Ghraib prison scandal for a clear picture of Rumsfeld which was provided years earlier during the Vietnam War, the Iran-Contra scandal and other "slime ball butchery symptomatic of a reptilian psychopathic sociopath."
The eighty-year-old Mr. Rumsfeld, who was a stand-out wrestler in high school and college said that almost all of the visitors to his "Misery Plantation" home are served fresh cold Aspar-Milk. Rumseld declined, however, to drink a glass of cold Aspar-Milk when presented to him on the front porch of his home. He also declined to wrestle with free-lance reporter, Italian American, Botswaman Negrolini, who offered Rumsfeld the glass and whose 7th grade son at the Robert E. Lee Middle School, Liberachi Negrolini, weighs 167 lbs.
It has been widely reported that Mr. Rumsfeld made $60 million for his part in securing FDA approval for Aspartame from the J.D. Searle Company.