Ra Ra Rah Rah!

NEW RULES: ARON RA CANNOT DRESS LIKE ANTON LAVEY OR MICHAEL AQUINO

By Quinton Sagan Ferguson for CPW News Services

     It is not enough that across the country local school boards are facing the wholesale extraction of religion from class text books.  Now they must accept spokespersons for atheism who, unlike Madalyn Murray O’Hare who dressed like a frumpy church lady, now dress like Anton LaVey or Michael Aquino.  Creationism is long on its way out, not jiving with modern geology and other sciences.  Everybody knows that.  Evolution is in, but religionists have a really hard time assimilating evolution into Darwin’s simple doctrine that shows us where we have come from, but not where we are going.  Would it not be simple to suggest that Christianity is not unlike Carl Sagan’s concept in the film Contact, where like other celestial beings have eventually figured out not to commit mass suicide so must we.  How simple could it be to suggest that Sagan’s vision looks incredibly close to a guileless guy named Jesus who like so many other close encounters seems to have materialized out of nowhere....or at least half out of nowhere? 

     Enter Aron Ra whose appearances at panel discussions like The Texas Freedom Foundation’s meetings leave the distinct impression that all other panel members are enamored of Ra’s rah-rah for atheism as they make stoic books ends on his voluminous mutterings.   “Unlike Sagan’s vision where evolution leads to the conclusion that a policy of “first do no harm” is universal, Ra always leaves me with an uneasy feeling wondering…..does he give a  seductive  first impression of 'first do no harm' followed by a …..SURPRISE!  Kind of like that old film 'Soylent Green is People!' or the Twilight Zone's episode 'It's a cookbook!'” said one uneasy attendee.

     "Admittedly, when it comes to a massive heart attack like the kind that claimed the life of atheist comedian George Carlin in Santa Monica, California where he was taken to St. John's Hospital where the new born nursery is named for Maria Kennedy Shriver and where Katie Holmes went to deliver Tom Cruises' children only after not finding a Scientologist hospital in the immediate area, so may Ra have trouble finding a "first do no harm" atheist hospital.   Or any atheist hospital at all," said John Klempt of the Association of Atheist Hospitals in Washington D.C...  Klempt, a semi-retired Halloween costume store rental owner, was hired as the association's inaugural President where he is working pro bono on developing a membership list.

     So what exactly is Ra?  When a fellow panelist conjures up a vision of himself and Ra with Aleister Crowley, one has to wonder.  “I think that Ra could do a great remake of the House on Haunted Hill or a movie about the mentor of the Memphis Three, but he definitely must watch his cholesterol,” said one concerned and half-starry-eyed panel attendee.

     “Why can’t atheists just be normal people who don’t believe that there is a Supreme Being of any kind.  Whenever I see a lawyer who dresses like a priest, I think  ‘a frustrated priest wanna be,’” said Marlin B. Waters of the Center for Non-Transcendent Visioning in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  “The guy should have been a priest, or better yet a very high priest of American culture, an investment banker with Goldman Sachs.  The thing that troubles me about Ra-Ra….I call him Ra-Ra…..is that he looks in every way like he’s ready to do a black mass and that he’s got all the necessary equipment from Newt eyes to goat goads and a sacrificial subject in the back of his black on black stretch limo-hearse out in the parking lot."

     “School kids find that going to classes with a person as bizarre as Ra-Ra make the generally boring school day exciting.  Cherry bombs in the toilets, throwing little Jimmy Burns into the women’s locker room wearing only his jock strap and holding the door shut, pulling the fire alarms or dressing in all black with floor length dusters and a neck tattoo of a skull and crossbones and the word’s 'you’re next’….that’s what makes a school worth going to.  Halloween everyday,” said a self-confessed free thinker at the TFF panel discussion.  “And would that be so much worse than where my old man went to a private religious school in Philadelphia and where he was passed around between Father O’Clanahan and Father O’Malley like a lolly pop at a munchkin rally?” asked Waters.

   “I’ve never seen Ra-Ra hanging out with Edred Thorsson, the head of Anton LaVeys’ turned Michael Aquino’s Temple of Set that moved to Austin from San Francisco, but they all obviously shop for clothes at the same place,” said the young man with shoulder length jet black hair, black leather pants, boots, jacket and pentagram earrings.  "He reminds me of Albert Pike reincarnated," said another.