No more Evil Empire Theme for Marching Band
“We are delighted that after years of hearing that sardonic, grinding, dirge that we now equate with a Dracula-like coach Joe Paterno running out of his cave and into the arena, we will be uplifted, instead, by the marvelous work of Miklos Rozsa from Ben Hur, 'Parade of the Chariots', ” said Binny McBride of the Nittany Lion Tamers, a citizens' support group from Philadelphia.
"We feel that Penn State's decline began when it added this weak and morbid song just because it seemed to match Paterno's appearance and personality. When Penn State identified with the Roman Empire rather than with the enslaved Ben Hur and other oppressed peoples its fate was sealed. For any part of America to identify with the evil empire's theme is like putting a gargoyle of Darth Vader on the Washington National Cathedral," said McBride.
When it was explained to McBride that a gargoyle of Darth Vader is on the Washington National Cathedral, his response was...."Well, then what the hell did you expect?"
Heidi Weber, a tuba player from Munich, Germany, said "We Germans know what can happen to you when you think of yourself as an evil empire and start playing its theme song. It is sad when you think about it. It's almost like America has the same death wish we had in the 1930's and 40's," said Heidi. "It's almost as if our most monstrous personalities were imported to join up with some wretched Americans and are recreating our old mess over there."
It was explained that under the CIA's Operation Paper Clip, that's exactly what happened. Heidi said, "Gut, was zur Holle hast du erwartet?"......"Well, what the hell did you expect?"
By Winsip Custer CPW News Service
In an effort to revamp its image as an evil football powerhouse, the Penn State Marching Band will discard American composer John Williams' draconian Star Wars theme, "The Imperial March".
"We feel that Penn State's decline began when it added this weak and morbid song just because it seemed to match Paterno's appearance and personality. When Penn State identified with the Roman Empire rather than with the enslaved Ben Hur and other oppressed peoples its fate was sealed. For any part of America to identify with the evil empire's theme is like putting a gargoyle of Darth Vader on the Washington National Cathedral," said McBride.
When it was explained to McBride that a gargoyle of Darth Vader is on the Washington National Cathedral, his response was...."Well, then what the hell did you expect?"
Heidi Weber, a tuba player from Munich, Germany, said "We Germans know what can happen to you when you think of yourself as an evil empire and start playing its theme song. It is sad when you think about it. It's almost like America has the same death wish we had in the 1930's and 40's," said Heidi. "It's almost as if our most monstrous personalities were imported to join up with some wretched Americans and are recreating our old mess over there."
It was explained that under the CIA's Operation Paper Clip, that's exactly what happened. Heidi said, "Gut, was zur Holle hast du erwartet?"......"Well, what the hell did you expect?"
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