Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Monday, November 28, 2011

AFTER SANDUSKY and PATERNO

FREE MARKET SOLUTION TO CHILD ABUSE:
“PEDO-FREE CERTIFICATION”

 by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

     In response to Jerry Sandusky’s problems with children at Penn State the Simi Valley, California firm Pedo-Policing, LLC has come up with a solution to protecting children and institutions from child abuse and cover-up.
     “We provide an iron-clad endorsement of any and all organizations that deal with children and are concerned about the conduct of their employees and the risks involved in hidden unethical, illegal or immoral conduct,” said Jasper G. Gimminez the company’s founder.

ViewAll 360 degree camera collar
     “Our stylish state-of-the-art camera collar called the ‘View-All’ provides 24/7 surround-sound and viewing of all employees who deal with children.  We see and hear what the employees see and hear.   Whoever is fortunate enough to be given jobs in such forward-thinking and sensitive institutions will have the full support and protection of the ‘PedoFree Certification’,” said Gimminez.
     The nearly indestructible camera-collar is solar and battery powered and never needs maintenance while sending out a signal on broadband channels that is fed to continuous loop computer storage.  “It takes a 360 degree continuous video with high quality sound and imaging,” said Gimminez. 
     “Our endorsement and continuous monitoring is far less expensive than the cost of multiple civil suits as in the Sandusky and Penn State case, “ said Gimminez
     Critics argue that Gimminez’ program and company violate privacy laws.  Gimminez argues that this is not the case as the cameras can be set on a “blurred image” setting for up to four minutes every two hours for giving  the wearer privacy for potty breaks and such.  The sound recording continues and children are instructed to yell 'Sandusky! Sandusky!' if ever threatened.  Others argued that this is not enough time for some functions.  “If the U.S. Navy’s sub-mariners can shower in less than two minutes, we think it’s plenty of time,” said Gimminez who concluded….”desperate times  demand desperate measures.”
     Gimminez sees the ViewAll as a solution to much more than child abuse as in the Sandusky case.  “We believe that beyond schools, the courts, companies, and even marriage partners will use them in cases of all kinds.  If Hillary Clinton had used one…..demanded its use by President Bill Clinton…..after the Jessica Flowers affair….there may never have been a Monika Lewinski,” said Gimminez who added….”though the President’s national security clearance may have been compromised, but how he passed an FBI assessment with all those potential security leaks going in is beyond me, anyway.  Which is why we will offer the service free to Mrs. Obama should she ever need it and the Secret Service will have its own ‘View All’ system provided by my company for free with their own confidential monitoring.”

     Meanwhile, just as the Penn State marching band is removing the Star Wars Evil Empire theme from its repertoire, Sandusky, Ohio  residents have petitioned the city to change it's name to Kidsville, Ohio.

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