PAULA BROADWELL'S NEW BOOK

Paula Broadwell Announces Sequel to All In: The Education of General David Petraeus

by Cathy Opusdalilly for CPW News Services

 



     Simon and Schuster announced today that Paula Broadwell’s sequel to All In: The Education of General David Petraeus, will be available in time for Christmas.     Sub-titled Still Looking For General Zod, the book’s introduction is written by Tampa, Florida socialite, Jill Kelley. 

     "People cannot get enough of the Jill Kelley and Paula Broadwell story, “ said Mordecai Zuckerman, Simon and Schuster’s spokesperson who also noted that Mrs. Broadwell's proposed title, All In:  Up to the Hilt, was rejected by the publisher.  "We like the military imagery, but it didn't do justice to the deeper motives directing Mrs. Broadwell's interests in General Petraeus.

     Dr. Harvey Hykyte of the Center For The Study of Zod-Odditites in Roswell, New Mexico believes that both Kelley and Broadwell suffer from an acute form of the Zod-Oddity Syndrome a purely feminine obsession with military men of the highest rank.  “The key is the rank.  Rank is everything to these women.  Low rank triggers no attraction at all.  Tests show that the lower the rank the more the sufferer thinks of privies and potato peelers, foxholes and gun oil, though there is some indication that the thought of guns and oil triggers minor levels of eroticism, but not enough to cause them to want to mount the officer like Mrs. Broadwell mounted the pilings at the West Point obstacle course.  The higher the rank the better.  Rank, rank, rank.  They eat, sleep and breathe rank.  Whoever can outrank another officer will win the Zod-Oddity sufferer's interest and affections," said Dr. Hykyte. 




Zod-Oddity syndrome strikes one woman in 10,000
military women according to
Dr. Harvey Hykyte of the
 Center for the Study of
 Zod-Oddities in
Roswell, New Mexico.

 

     Jill Kelley, who wrote the introduction to Broadwell’s All In: Part II, was not initially interested in participating in the book.   "A seven figure advance sealed the  Simon and Schuster offer," said Zuckerman who also announced that he has signed an agreement with Dr. Harvey Hykyte to published his new book The Heartbreak of Zod-Oddity:  Rank And the Women Who Reach For It.

    Challenging Dr. Hykyte's assumptions and diagnosis of Mrs. Broadwell's disorder is Dr. Fleming Eon Goldman.  "This has all the making of a counter intelligence move," said Goldman who has served for thirty two years as president of the American Counter-Intelligence Society for Intellectual Advancement of Public Disclosure.  "I believe that the only thing in Mrs. Broadwell that is anything like the luny wingnut that chased General Zod is the fact that she was the sharp stick with which General Petraeus could gouge out his own eyes and become forever associated with the not-nearly-good, the bad and the really alluring whose ugliness is soul deep.  That stick could have been married or single, brunette, red head or blond,  male or female depended on the General's sexual orientation, but whoever the powers that be used, the results are the same.  The man took himself out of the picture in a way that effectively severs the institutional memory on a sxxx-load of military dirty dealing," said Goldman.