PARIS HILTON PRODUCT OF WELFARE STATE

Paris Hilton Product of Big Government Says “Gusher-Up” Economist

By Winsip Custer CPW News Service

      While the Tea Party and Republicans complain that the government has no part to play in the creation of jobs, Dr. Bullard P. Wiseman an independent economist with the Washington D.C. consulting firm of G-UP,  LLC, maintains that the government throwing money at a problem is a very good way to have some of the money trickle down.   “The key to trickle down is to gusher up,” said Wiseman.

     According to Wiseman the money must be thrown up and not down.  “A perfect example of this, though Ronald Reagan’s trickle down policies were never  so clearly articulated as my ‘gusher up’ model even by that self-absorbed wing nut, Milton Friedman, is outlined in my new book (Freebird-Vulture Press) titled Gitty Up Gusher!,” said Wiseman.  “You have only to look at Paris Hilton to understand how it works.  After World War II, Conrad Hilton was on the move declaring that he was ordained by God to spread the free market capitalism of America to the world.  He would see to it that the world would compare East with West through exposure to his hotels.  The differences between the draconian Soviet and Chinese models would be obvious.  So they'd choose the best that Western culture had to offer.  So with help from the American taxpayers through the Marshall Plan, Paris Hilton’s grandfather received his expansion money for his foreign endeavors,” said Wiseman.  "Them's that gots is them's that gets," he continued smilingly.  "Leona Helmsley was a little slow on the uptake."

     “But doesn’t that mean that Mr. Hilton received welfare?” I asked.  “Doesn’t  that mean that Paris’ charmed life was somewhat bought and paid for on the backs of people who by in large could never afford to stay in Hilton’s hotels?”  I prodded.

     “Yes, but everything's paid for on the backs of working people” said Wisemen, "which is why rich people are stupid not to let the gusher trickle down somewhat," he reasoned.  “ Which is why the Best Western Hotels were created for your kind....or Motel  6.   Of course, the Chinese seem to be taking great pride in their new hotels like the Radegast  in Beijing that books for about $87 per night and has 5 star accommodations, about the price of a Holiday Inn Express on discount," said Wiseman sheepishly.

Radegast Hotel, Beijing, China

     Wiseman said that the best analysis of Conrad Hilton’s plan is covered in Annabel Jane Wharton's 2001  book, "Building the Cold War: Hilton International Hotels and Modern Architecture" (University of Chicago Press).  I asked him if he could sleep in a 5 star $87 per night hotel in Beijing not a stones throw from Tienanmen Square where student protesters and freedom fighters were massacred by their government?  "Yes," he said, "I'd sleep just fine, but I'd avoid the Fillet of Yorkie and Peach Crusted Dalmatian Patties on the room service menu," he concluded.