National Cathedral Shaken But Not Yet Stirred

Earthquake Damages National Cathedral

By Winsip Custer

     The recent 5.8 Richter scale earthquake in the Northeast caused significant damage to Washington D.C.’s National Cathedral.  Limestone gargoyles, reminiscent of the cathedrals of Europe had fallen from the structure and some indicated that they heard the giant bells of the Cathedral ringing during the quake.

     President Obama was scheduled to speak at the Cathedral on the anniversary of the September 11 attack.  In an effort to repair the structure before the event a 500 ton crane was being used to hoist fallen limestone and equipment to the church roof when the crane fell injuring the crane operator.  President Obama's speech and the musical event had to be moved to the Kennedy Center where Alan Jackson and other performers provided a star-studded musical tribute. Unfortunately, singer Carole King's rocking tribute was cancelled because it was inappropriate to the timing and mood of the occassion.

     We attempted to contact former White House Personnel Director for the George W. Bush administration, now Vicar of the church, Jan Naylor Cope, for an assessment of the situation.  Rev. Cope, a summa cum laude graduate of Wesley Theological Seminary, is a member of the Episcopal Church General Convention for 2012 and is a member of the Compass Rose Society which seeks the support of England's Archbishop of Canterbury and the Anglican Communion.  With her connections with First Washington Bank on whose board is Wesley Theological Seminary board member, former Secretary of the U.S. Navy,  Adm. John H. Dalton, it seemed likely that though the church building is uninsured, financial resources for repairs should not be a major issue.  Adm. Dalton who also ran the San Antonio, Texas office of the Little Rock, Arkansas Stephens Investment Co. banking firm may continue to have significant banking connections which could help the church with its repair issues.   Stephens was founded by Witt Stephens in 1933. Witt was joined by his brother, Jackson T. Stephens, in 1946.  Jackson T. Stephens was key to the establishment of the Bank of Credit and Commerce International or BCCI.

     “Jackson T Stephens gave over $30 million dollars to the Episcopal Collegiate School endowment in 2004”, said Fulbright Searcy Wellbrace, a Washington CPA.   “Jackson Stephens  would have been a good source for repair money.  He had lined up Abdullah Bakhsh whose business partners in BCCI became Harken Energy’s third-largest stockholder, also owning 10 percent of Stephen’s Worthen Banking.  You can read about it in Common Cause Magazine, spring 1992 with more in the San Diego Union Tribune, January 17, 1992,” said Wellbrace.  “Stephens was Harken Energy’s investment banker which in early 1990 won the offshore drilling rights for the nation of  Bahrain, which was a wonderful windfall for Harken.  Harken had never drilled an offshore well before, but of course the recent events in Bahrain shook the Bahrain Royal Family almost as much as the recent earthquake in Washington shook the National Cathedral.  They had to rely on the Saudi Royal Family's army whose deep pockets could also be tapped to help restore the Cathedral  just as the Saudi Royals are counted on by their Muslim subjects to maintain their holy places of Mecca and Medina.   There is no separation of church and state in Saudi Arabia.  Come to think of it, there doesn't appear to be much here either, does there?   Well getting help to restore the National Cathedral would be chump change for them and for the British Royal family whose Queen Elizabeth is the titular head of the Anglican Church to which Canterbury owes allegiance.  Sadly it won't be Jackson T. Stephens who'll fetch it.  He died on July 23, 2005,” said Wellbrace.

     Meanwhile, those close to the situation and with concerns about the fate of the National Cathedral have questioned the wisdom of building high rise structures that may be subject to earthquakes and other natural or man-made disasters such as 9/11.  One blogger on The Atlantic Wire wrote:

     I believe that churches in the future, given science's increased understanding of the shifting nature of the earth's crust, will need to be decreasing density structures. The church steeple is a good start, but not if it is stuck on top of a glass-sharded nave with limestone gargoyles that can fall and bop you on your head. Better an American Indian teepee with a small cross on top.

Rather than naming this religious facility the National Cathedral, it would be better to call it Willows Of Babylon Church, since we're still in Babylon (Iraq) and will probably be for some time to come if our nation's leaders have their way.  Babylon, you know, from the Israelites' experiences of finding faith even in Babylon. Under the willows there where they hung up their liars, I mean lyres, and obviously they were NOT Church of Christ who don't believe in instruments in church.  So keep the organ, or at least some guitars, so the organ pipes don't bop the worshippers, too.

And didn't the Pope speak ex cathedra or "from the chair" so that a cathedral is the "seat of the Bishop's authority"? Yet, I don't see a Bishop listed on the National Cathedral staff roster. In the case of the Pope, the Bishop of Rome, he rightly has a cathedral, St. Peters, from which he speaks with unquestioned authority....except when it comes to telling where the pedophile priests are located and he's very quiet about that.

Pretty smart those American Indians with their teepees.