In Bed With The Infidels

On Finding A Saudi Arabian Ambassador’s Eyeball On Top of Your Italian Wedding Cake

By Toby R. Nuttebee, CPW News Service

      This week the Saudi royal family whose 2001 involvement in the 911 plot has been meticulously censored by the U.S. government by redacting twenty-eight pages of the official 911 Commission Report chopped off the head of an Iranian cleric and twenty five members of Al Qaeda just to make the decision an equal opportunity event.  The Iranian cleric is Shiite and the others are Sunni.

     “It’s like the English Queen hauling the IRA and a bunch or Orange dudes to Trafalgar Square and putting them on the chopping block to show that she’s impartial,” said Peter Pezonus an independent U.S. investigative reporter.

      Pezonus believes that the only way the U.S. can help solve the Middle East crisis is to stop making money off of war profits.  “If Iran-Contra told us anything at all it was that there’s gold in them there hills of missiles and mortars.  Spitz Channell tapped his best supporters for the Contra cause in Texas and sold over-priced weapons for a profit that he pumped into Central American spud chuckers and night stalkers.  Just before that in 1980 was Charlie Wilson’s war, the same year as the Reagan/Bush "October Surprise" and the same thing happened….history repeated itself semi-differently…..Osama Bin Laden led the Al Qaeda element of the Muslim Brotherhood from Hosni Mubarack’s Egyptian Al Qaeda that had murdered Anwar Sadat and sweet Joanne King Herring helped put Wilson’s weapons in Osama’s little bloody hands….but bloody back then from gushing Russian arteries.   Now we wish we had asked the Russians under Gorbachev or Yeltsin to join a new NATO.   We thought Osama and the Mujahedeen and their ally, Al Qaeda, a hero, but then Osama's older brother inexplicably flew that ultra-light airplane into a high power line in Cibolo, Texas in 1988, an important election year for GHWB and Jewish CBS reporter, Lowell Bergman, wrongly reported that Salem was in his BAC-111 jet when he died.   It was like telling us that Brown & Williamson Tobacco Company had poisoned millions with carcinogens from Cuban cigars instead of cigarettes.   The disinformation was no small thing.  Osama probably felt that way, too, but he sure wasn’t going to blame the Iranians for his brother’s death.  If Salem, an experienced jet pilot, had been set up to fly parallel to the mega voltage power line along the runway veering directly into it, it wouldn’t have been the Iranians.  They haven’t even made their first nuke, much less perfected the elements of a drone-driven air-cart and why would they want to?   The Shiite Iranians didn’t like the Russians any more than they did the Afghanistani freedom-fighting-Sunni-backed Al Qaeda,” said Pezonus, "but what exactly happened to Osama's big brother in Texas remains a serious and troubling mystery for everyone."

     By the spring and summer of 2015 it was being widely reported that the SEAL Team Six raid in Abbottsabad, Pakistan had yielded from Osama's personal laptop a plan to reconstitute his terrorist network in Iran.....bad news for the twenty-five just beheaded.....but good news for the Neo-Con agenda that the former head of NATO, General Wesley Clark, reported was their goal all along....seven wars across the Middle East including ones with Iraq, Syria and Iran.

     Pezonus is joined by Fabian Colbachi a fellow independent newsman who shares Pezonus’ concerns for just what happened to Salem Bin Laden.  “It is much more likely that Salem had a big part in the 1980 “October Surprise” that was at the core of the initial development of Oliver North’s Iran/Central American mishegoss at the same time as our aide to the Afghans with tentacles into Tehran and Riyadh,” said Colbachi.   Salem was just another inconvenient witness to the truth like Scott Shuger after 911 or like Mark Lombardi in 2000 or like Gary Webb in 1996 and 1997 and in 2004 when he miraculously killed himself with two head shots.    Tuff act, but Bill Clinton's friend, the Little Rock medical examiner, Fahmy Malak, says it happens all the time,” said Colbachi.

     Pezonus is resolute in the fact that the only way for the U.S. to avoid the blow-back is to quit blowing back the hair of the innocent people who get caught in our wayward policies.

      “General Wesley Clark laid out what the Neo Cons…..Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Perle, Armitage and the rest were doing invading Iraq after 911 and then covering over the Saudi culpability.  Kind of hard to ignore when fifteen of the nineteen hijackers were from Saudi Arabia and with Al Qaeda headed by the son of the Saudi’s top construction engineer and given Prince Bandar Bush's shared pabulum and pacifier with GWB,” said Pezonus who was especially concerned that the DEA helped to foil a 2007 plot to blow up the Saudi Ambasador in a Washington D.C. eatery.

      “Like so much of the Iran-Contra and Charlie Wilson War goodies…..hell, don’t forget William Walker’s incursion in Nicaragua in the 19^th Century or the Bay of Pigs invasion in 1961…..the clustering copulators flow through Texas more than any other state in the Union with the possible exception of Florida, both states Bush bastions of back alley shenanigans.  So there was this 2007 plot by an Iranian member of their special forces, Arbabsiar,….their revolutionary guard so to speak….who was hiring a Mexican Zeta to kill the Ambassador of Saudi Arabia as he ate at Georgetown’s Milano Café, a very popular eat-and-be-seen Washington D.C. hot spot owned by Franco Nuschese.  The Iranian, obviously a Shiia and not a Saudi royal boot-licking Sunni, Mansour J. Arbabsiar, would have his Texas property confiscated by the state after he was convicted.   He had tried to recruit what he thought was a Zeta hitman, but he was a Zeta/DEA informant,” said Pezonus.

     “Poor Arbabsiar.  I actually feel sorry for the guy who didn’t know that the part of the world where he was doing his recruiting has more Middle Eastern drug and weapons dealers hopping across the border than my dog when he’s told to stay in his own yard when the bitch next door is in heat.  Consider the Lebanese Chagra brother from Juarez and El Paso.  You think the Mexicans named their port city across from Brownsville, Matamoros, “kill the Moors”, for nothing?    Smoke this:  Some of them are Maronite Catholics and not Muslims at all, but can look any part you want....like Antoine Chagur in Cormac McCarthy's imagination.  Ask Woody Harrelson about the Chagras,” said Pezonus adding "they were selling Toledo swords to both the Moors and El Cid and even Richard the Lionhearted long before we heard of Stingers."

      Colbachi who had read the same articles about Arbabsiar the Iranian and agreed with Pezonus, “It would not have been very nice for the Iranians to have killed the Saudi Ambassador, blown the place to smithereens,  Arbabsiar being told there might be 150 other deaths,  while the Ambassador was eating his lasagna or Caesar salad in such a public and popular forum.  "No problema," said Arbabsiar. This raises all kinds of speculation about the role that the DEA has with Mexican drug cartels which recently brought out the fact that El Chapo may have a secret concordat with the DEA, an assertion that the Drug Enforcement Agency hotly denies, but puts the history of Manuel Noriega, Barry Seal and loads of other questionable DEA activities or non-activities under another cloud even when in the case of Noriega and others they are apprehended as surely El Chapo will be.

     “There is only one solution for this mess as I see it,” said Colbachi.  “Move immediately to hydrogen fuel cells, renewable energy sources, pull our lips off the Middle Eastern oil nipples and start to plant poppies on every porch in America and the world.  Change our drug policies and change our leadership forever and nationalize our privatized military.   As our returning soldiers who are committing suicide in record number really do know, this is what has really motivated our presence in the Middle East and has since the negotiating of the Wanghia Treaty with China promising them that we wouldn’t distribute as the British had, David Sassoon’s opioids from the Golden Crescent among their poor.  Oops!  We lied!  Hello Mao’s Cultural Revolution!   Oh, and don’t eat in a place where a Saudi Ambassador, or an Iranian Ambassador for that matter, eat veal Marsala.   You might end up with their eyeballs floating in your Ribollita or your ear hanging from Mitch McConnell's bloody chin.    The Saudi Royals?  Their greatest fear is that the Iranian Shiias are the equivalent of England's religious zealot, Oliver Cromwell.  They could easily end up like Cuba’s Batista whose 30,000 man army joined Fiedel’s 500 man army overnight,” said Colbachi who believes that the U.S. effort to free Cuba from Spain was a good thing, even if the Battleship Maine was like yellow cake in Iraq, though to allow Cuba to degrade along a different track into corporate fascism with underworld elements under Batista that soured the hard working people there into Fiedel's minions was a great tragedy, too.
       Pezonus cornered the passion of the moment....."but we'll still need some of those petro-chems for our plastics.....the family friend talking to Dustin Hoffman's character in the 60's movie, The Graduate, was still right!  Renewables AND petro-chems, but not as smog-pumpers.
     The U.S., and this is what the Shiia and Sunni Muslims have a hard time understanding since their two-party religion is essentially a Civil War bent on avoiding reformation, enlightenment and a religion-neutral rule of law, went Oliver Cromwell one better by forging on the altar of human experience a method of successfully passing on power peacefully and separating religion from government and government from religion and proving Voltaire correct when he said of the U.S. 'If there were only two religions they'd kill each other.  As it is there are hundreds and they live quite peaceably.' The young Egyptians of the Arab Spring seemed to be developing a glimpse of it just as it appears that the U.S. is losing ours with what Lewis Lapham has termed The Wish For Kings: Democracy At Bay and a return to political dynasties, a ruling elite that cremates care and identifies itself with Arab royals and fossil fuel dollars to keep the crematorium aglow and defended by it high-tech weaponry as the planet drops into a big sink hole."