PITZER COLLEGE SAY "BYE-BYE" TO CARBON CORRUPTION

Pitzer College and Robert Redford Make Ecological History, but Sadly, IT’S TOO LATE!

by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

     With Cormac McCarthy’s script for the future, The Road, quickly becoming a reality, Pitzer College in Claremont, California and Robert Redford, its board member, have announced that  they will divest the college endowment fund of its fossil fuel stocks.

     “That’s really nice,”  said Farron C. Jung who has been covering the late arrival of the Al Gore Global Warming Wing of the Houston Museum ofNatural Science.  “When you realize the connections of Pitzer College to Kenneth Pitzer of Rice University in Houston and the James A. Baker Center for Public Policy this is just a piss drop in a pee pan.”

     Fabian Colbachi agrees with Jung.  “When Pamela Pitzer Willeford witnessed Dick Cheney nearly sending Harry M. Whittington to the  big fossil fuel pile in the sky, you had a nice little group of fossil fuel advocates who don’t like the idea of alternative fuels killing the quail or dove while taking pot shots at each other.    Robert Redford might as well be out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean in a sinking sailboat or whispering in a horse’s ear!  Kenneth Pitzer was responsible for stripping J. Robert Oppenheimer of his national security clearance because he wanted to lead the world into alternative fuels.  Nuclear.   Kenneth Pitzer was defending the old fossil fuel fossils, you know, the usual suspects,  against right-minded alternative fuel development….also solar, wind and hydrogen.   Heading up the attack on Oppenheimer was Gordon Gray whose father was head of RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company....another nice source of carbon from smoke.... and whose son, C. Boyden Gray, was the Bush chief legal counsel during GWB’s administration,” said Colbachi.

     Lowell N. Beholde, who has also written extensively about the problem of fossil fuels agrees with Colbachi and Jung.  He exposed the attempt by Anne Korin, James Schlesinger, James Woolsey, Robert McFarland, Greg Doken of the Methanol Institute, Daniel Cohn of MIT, Israel's Elli Groner, to do for fossil fuels what Albert Lasker and others Madison Avenue hucksters did for tobacco sales.  "Those old withered fossils want the next generation to blow more smoke," said Beholde.  

     Beholde agrees with Colbachi and Jung.   “Robert Redford is like that guy in Three Days of the Condor.  Too little, too late.  But, if he could get the privatized University of Texas endowment that’s up to its ugly bosoms in every imaginable weapons and fossil siphoning sludge sucking stock on Hank Paulson’s cabaret of Wall Street, we might forestall Cormac McCarthy’s scenario by a few months.”  Colbachi has written about fuel independence in Hunter S. Thompson's Sandusky Nexus, The Gone Zone: When a Devilish Deal Goes Bad.
 
    H.D. Thoreau, who studied the documentary, Gasland,  and wrote a stunning review of the film subsidized by actor Deborah Winger whose work on Urban Cowboy and Legal Eagles exposed her to the realities of petro-carbon flares and foot-prints and the legal system that protects them, believes that the University of Texas had fine engineers working on the permeable membrane needed to make hydrogen fuel cells practicable.  Unfortunately two of them who were working together died under unusual circumstances.   "If Robert Redford is trying to be like Martin Luther standing up to the Pope who was sitting on the freedom on inquiry in the 15th Century as the fossil fuel dinosaurs are doing today, he's starting about fifty years too late.   The handwriting is on the wall and it would take a major Reformation and Bastille Day to correct things and even then it's questionable," said Thoreau, no relations to Henry David Thoreau.   "The University of Texas' chemical engineers are as much under house arrest as the Copernicus and Galileo as all the while the dinos of fossil fuels built a new Formula One race track in Austin, pulled Elon Musk into fossil fuel rockets and told the world to suck deeply from their withering hoses.   Time for a circumcision....or a Lorena Bobbit!" said Thoreau.

     Sources close to friends of NASA astronaut, Gordon Cooper, say that Cooper was  sure that we have the hydrogen fuel cell technology to bring us within range of a reasonable jettisoning of the old fossil fuels, though not yet bringing us up to speed with the whatever it was that he saw flying above his squadron over Germany in the 1950's or when on the dry lake bed at Edward's Air Force Base he witnessed an inexplicable craft of phenomenal abilities that was  filmed and sent to Washington for analysis and subsequent misplacement.  "We could be fossil fuel independent, unless our sole purpose on earth is to create the carbon dioxide needed to feed the plants on another planet, for which we were put here and into which we will also go as carbon dioxide to feed the plant life on the planet of  Zelraad."