Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Monday, July 23, 2012


By Farbonifar Gilbignas for CPW News Services

     James Holmes, the University of Colorado Student who massacred unarmed movie-goers in Aurora, Colorado, had only one prior encounter with law enforcement….a minor traffic ticket. 

     Dr. Karl Kroncrackle of the Clockwork Orange Deprogramming Association of lower Pikes Peak, Colorado, said that Holmes’ bizarre behavior does not fit as well into the Batman motif….even as “The Joker”... as it does into the Stanley Kubric Clockwork Orange scenario.  “If I could have gotten to Holmes two months ago when he was only beginning to develop his homicidal ideations, I could have deprogrammed him and put him on an entirely different track by exposing him to four hundred hours of sleep deprivation mixed with streaming images of historic homicides.  After that we give him an E-meter analysis of his inner Thetan to see if that Thetan is cured of its homicidal disposition.  Of course, if his inner Thetan is John Wayne Gacy or Jack the Ripper, there’s not much we can do.”
     Noting that Holmes’ family is Presbyterian, Kroncrackle argued that his Scientology-based psychotherapy is as reliable as any mainstream approach to defusing the violent nature in people like Mr. Holmes.  Kroncrackle noted that the Heaven’s Gate cult was led by the son of a Presbyterian minister, Marshall Applewhite.  Applewhite syndrome is seen in Holmes’ stare, but it has also been seen in the gaze of many people that we associate with stability, reliability and health,” said Kroncrackle.

     When asked if he thought that Mr. Holmes could use the Applewhite Syndrome as a defense, Kroncrackle said "I wouldn't be surprised if a good lawyer looked into it.  On the other hand, the brutality of this event and the innocence of the victims mitigates against a soft sentence.  Now, if Mr. Holmes had pulled this batty little prank in, say, the halls of the U.S. Congress where Congress members have an 8% approval rating he would have fared much better with or without the Applewhite Syndrome defense."

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