GEORGE CARLIN'S LAST LAUGH....OR MAYBE NOT!

By Virgina S. Pickens for CPW News Service

     He was adamant about the ridiculousness of religion and built a life of comedic genius pointing people away from something he considered bad for them.  Faith.

    Choosing not to have any religious observance whatsoever, Carlin’s body was cremated and his ashes received by his family in accordance to his wishes for final disposition.  Before Carlin died in 2008 of a heart attack he was taken to St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica, California, a hospital founded by the Sisters of Charity of the Roman Catholic Church.   Carlin had been educated at the Corpus Christi School in New York City and from that experience he developed a comedic litany of memorable and decidedly anti-religious material.

     Ironically, St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica surrounded the dying comic with the latest medical technology and the powerful imagery of the faith he abhorred.  Saint Monica of Hippo (Algeria) was the mother of Augustine, the Manichean Gnostic whose libertine lifestyle was set aside as a result of Monica’s devotion to the healing message of Jesus of Nazareth.  Augustine’s teachings focused on the sovereignty of God and became an enormous anchor for the early church in a violent and pagan culture. 

     St. John’s Hospital is named for St. John the Apostle, but scholars are divided as to which St. John wrote the Gospel, the Epistles and the Book of Revelation.  “That wouldn’t have mattered much to George.  Heck, that would give him three chances to pop a joke about the etymology of the name 'John',” said one Carlin fan who said that the hospital had been home to Ronald and Nancy Reagan, Farah Fawcett, Dick Clark and many other celebrities including Katie Holmes who could not find a Scientologist hospital with a neonatal unit in California.  In fact, Katie couldn't find any Scientologist hospitals anywhere.  "Thetan's are perfect and don't need hospitals," said one Scientology spokesperson.  St. John's, on the other hand, had a neonatal unit named for Maria Shriver Kennedy Schwartznegger.  St. John's also houses the John Wayne Cancer Center .

     St. John’s has also become home to Abbott L. Brown, a co-founder of Global Crossing, who now serves on the St. John’s Board of Directors and who has been Chief Financial Officer of Sony Communication, one of the world’s largest media firms and which handled Merv Griffin’s show.  Carlin appeared 29 times on Griffin’s program.  Global Crossing, of course, is the web-networking and fiber optics company that went bankrupt along with companies like Enron and Worldcom with much publicity, embarrassment and anger of stockholders who were late in cashing in on company profits.

     “When push comes to shove and people need help, they don’t care where it comes from,” said Santa Monica’s long-term homeless man who resides under a  bridge on the Santa Monica Freeway,  Rusty “Hacksaw” Hebert.  “I ain’t never seen a Scientologist hospital out here in California.  Heck, I guess that’s why Katie Holmes had a problem with them Scientologists.   Guess she delivered her babies at St. John’s like Maria Shriver Schwartzeneger, but had to bow to the Scientologists at home,” said Hebert who said he was thankful that he’s been healthy and hasn’t needed the help of the Sisters of Charity hospital on Santa Monica Boulevard.   “Even those pagan Masons have the good sense to have childrens’ hospitals,” said Hebert who added “most mothers find that a good idea.”

      When told that George Carlin was taken to St. John’s following his heart attack, Hebert said that he never really cared much for Carlin ever since he made fun of suicide and talked of homeless people being among the first to need to go.  “Just cause we’re down, doesn’t mean we want to be counted out,” said Hebert.   “And if some of these rich organizations that don’t give nothin’ back would start doing that it would be a better world for everyone.  I wouldn’t care if Carlin was a satanic priest….well I mean I’d care, but heck,” said Hebert.  “They’d have helped Carlin even then….even without his money….which is a far cry from what most satanic priests will do for you.  Have you ever been admitted to a satanic hospital?    They ain’t much into healin’ what hurts ya’,” said Hebert who gets his news from a TV at the local McDonalds.  “I hope Abbott Brown’s buddies give back to the hospital some of that missing Global Crossing money,” said Hebert with a sincere concern.  “Anonymously, like George Carlin would have done if he did,” Hebert concluded.