Patriot Act Power Tightened and Extended
by Winsip Custer CPW News Service
On Thursday Congress passed a four-year extension of post-Sept. 11 Federal powers to search records and conduct roving wiretaps of possible terrorists. Votes taken in both the Senate and House came after lawmakers rejected attempts to augment the law to ensure that individual liberties are not abused.
The vote of 250-153 in the House, passed the legislation to renew three terrorism-fighting authorities headed for the president's signature with only hours to go before the bill expires at midnight tonight, but is expected to be signed by President Obama who is reportedly reading Oscar C. Havermeir's new book The Persuasive Power of Wartime Presidents.
“Bin Laden's ghost is still a serious, serious threat to our national security,” said Willard Whistlemon a Washington analyst for the Center for Paranormal Abnormalities, a Washington D.C. consulting firm that provided technical support for the film Ghost Busters. If you need any proof that Bin Laden remains a significant terroristic threat even after his death, consider what happened to the nation after the death of Elvis Presley," said Mr. Whistlemon.
According to retired Marine Gen. Ferdinand B. Wheeler of the Coalition of Renewed Applications of Patriotic Sounding Injunctions, “There is significant concern that the spread of Middle Eastern democracies may cause a similar reaction here in the U.S. and Uncle Sam is going to need all the power he can muster to keep his little nieces and nephews at bay.”
Officers for the Office of Homeland Security asked if the bill contained provisions for civilian quartering of officers and terrorism investigators in private homes. Some argued that since Osama Bin Laden was wealthy and would be more likely to hide out and produce premonitions in more affluent neighborhoods, that many of them would be willing to apply for duty in these dangerous regions especially in certain areas of Beverly Hills, West Palm Beach and the Hamptons.