Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Eye-Opening Perspectives for Heroic Hearts

Thursday, June 9, 2011

National Leadership Barometer Hits New Bozo High

Respected Diagnostic Survey Hits Dangerously High Bozo Level

by Winsip Custer

Since its first use in 1950 after Alan W. Livingston created the character Bozo the clown in 1946, the national BFAS or Bozo Factor Analytical Survey has judged the seriousness and quality of the United State's leadership. In the 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's the Bozo factor has steadily climbed until today it sits at 200% of its initial 1950 value.

"The only way to reduce the current critically high 'Bozo Level' is to elect leaders with verifiable brains," said BFAS's chief statistician, Herbert C. Pullman. "It's not that expensive to provide the American people with a verifiable MRI, EEG and brain wave analysis from a team of the nation's most qualified neurologists," said Pullman. "John Wayne put it clearly," Pullman continued, "'life is really hard and it's even harder when you're stupid'."

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