Newt Gingrich's Wife Owed No Apology According to Fingerless Staffer
Exodus From Gingrich Camp Blows Wife's Cover
by Winsip Custer CPW News Service
Gingrich staffer, Sidney Noonan Sputsch, who was fired by Callista Gingrich maintains that “that woman is not who she says she is and Newt damn well knows it. I was hired to write speeches for Newt, but that woman is not from this planet. After she bit my finger off thank God I was able to fetch it from a plate of Newt’s spaghetti before it was thrown out. I raced to the emergency room where they were able to reattach it, but I’m getting as far away Newt and that woman as I can get.”
Meanwhile Newt Gingrich and Harrison Ford have joined to create the Husband’s For Wives Named Callista Foundation which has written a mission statement titled Contract With The Galaxy.