Dione Lucas' Missed Mission To Save The World
by Levi Schreewd for CPW News Service
Before Julia Child and her Art of French Cooking there was the first female graduate of Paris' Cordon Bleu cooking school, Dione Lucas. Ms. Lucas' classic cooking shows are now being played on RETRO television and the obvious contribution of this fine female chef to the work of Julia Child is readily apparent.
|Dione Lucas, first female graduate of Paris' Cordon Bleu Cooking School|
and creator of Hitler's favorite recipe for cooked squab.
"Oh yes," said Sidney Flamer of the Institute of Clandestine Culinary Concoctions in Freeport, Bahamas. "Ms. Lucas had worked in the restaurant in Hamburg, Germany during the 1930's frequented by Adolf Hitler who was quite fond of Lucas's stuffed squab. Ms. Lucas had the perfect opportunity to stuff that squab with a nice castor bean pate' or a cyanide dusted peach and mango stuffing perhaps chased down with an antifreeze-laced cognac as an after dinner drink....all preceded by a lovely oleander leaf salad with hemlock dressing and a side of Lion and Puffer fish ceviche" said Flamer, a citizen of both Belgium and Great Britain.
"This little woman could have saved millions of lives and the British Empire and the Allies during World War II the hassle of having to discover the code-breaking ability of the Bletchley Park geeks whose hide and seek games of cat and mouse that actually prolonged the war on Hitler when this opportunity is factored in. Hitler, the little wayward waif, decided to paint a canvass of Europe with his favorite color....crimson!" said Flamer who added...."It's an enigma! But what is not an enigma is that Dione Lucas was so concerned that the Fuhrer like her little dish that she really dropped the ball on the greatest opportunity to save the greatest number of people in the history of the world in one single little action."
Flamer's organization sells its ICCC Chef's Pack for only $59.95 which contains the potent products mentioned and which according to Flamer...."should be in the arsenal of every chef in the world. You never know when a Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Shah of Iran, Augusto Pinoche, Anastasio Samoza, Assad, Saddam Hussein, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld or some other tyrant may come into your sphere of culinary influence. I am especially fond of our PFE or Puffer Fish Extract because it is full of tetrodotoxin which is up to 1,200 times more poisonous than cyanide," Flasher concluded.