MICHAEL RUPPERT and The HISTORY CHANNEL’s DIRE PREDICTIONS

Prophets of Doom See End In Sight.  

Science Spokesman Sees Mission Accomplished

By Bobby Bono, CPW News Service

     Leaving aside the normal routine of finding scientific experts in climate change, energy engineering, water resourcing and other areas, The History Channel has recruited the Los Angeles police detective who stood to announce to CIA Director, John Deutsch,  that “the CIA has been dealing drugs in LA for a very long time.”

     Founder of From the Wilderness, the online magazine that in the wake of the Rodney King beatings, Gary Webb’s articles on the Iran-Contra connections to LA crack cocaine epidemic and the LA riots that found one of the first  clusterings  of Federal, state and local responses to community  law enforcement issues,  Michael Ruppert has become the undocumented  “Dr. Doom of the History Channel’s Prophets of Doom.”    So says, Ichabod Dorborski, of Retired Scientists for Outspoken Rebuttal or RSFOR.

     Leading a group of doomsday pontificates in what appears to be a castle dungeon, Ruppert and his circle of prognosticators jerk up a list of their most feared doomsday scenarios:  Energy, water and financial melt down head the list. 

     This is all a big red herring according to  Dr. Ichabod Dorborski.  “We are genetically prewired by our Creator to fulfill our destiny.  There is one thing that we humans have been placed on earth to do and that is to create as much carbon dioxide as possible and to hurry up about it.   Earth is 4.5 billion years old and life is about 3.6 billion years old which was the beginning of the Ramanidian's growing fossil  deposits.... their plant food, carbon dioxide.   At the rate that we are churning up the old fossil fuels and pumping CO2 into the air, the Ramanidians will soon be appearing to harvest the CO2 which is needed on their planet for plant life,” said Dorborski.

     When asked if there was a scientific solution to stalling the Ramanidians’ return Doborski said “Scientific? No.  There is a spiritual slow stall, however, and that is for everyone to join a Benedictine monastery sometime this week.   However, the Ramanidians are preprogrammed to see this as a massive strike and it will be answered by another comet like the one that hit the Yucatan and we will all be added to the greenhouse gasses in short order, but in an ashen and dust cloud state that the Ramanidians would like to avoid if at all possible.  They will still return, but for a smaller yield of the gaseous CO2 that will need undesirable filtration.  Relatively pure, low impurity CO2 gas  is their preferred form of the greenhouse vapor they seek.   Taking time for the dust to settle after a comet strike is a big problem for them.  It's easier to transport cleaner CO2 than to filter it or to carry dirty oil or coal to Ramanidia," said Dorborski who believes that the Ramanidians are delighted with the improved fracking practices that have been developed in recent years.  "Planet earth is, with the advent of omni-directional drilling and fracking, like a marvelous beehive just buzzing along at top efficiency," said Dorborski.

    Dorborski said that, alternatively,  if people would return to a nomadic life style like that of the early plains Indians or African or Australian aboriginals that this , too, would slow down CO2 levels and buy earthlings some more time, but this might also invite the arrival of a comet or the Ramanidian's proposed CO2 process innovators which Dorborski called the "Kluugs".  "Kluugs are on the Ramanidians' drawing board, but have not been put into full production because the process of human evolution on other planets has never failed to produce the desired effect of their target CO2 yield.    It follows a predictable and simple process.  Water, slime, vegetation, big reptilians, a comet that kills off 90 per cent of life, mammals, humans who convert the carbon to gas.  Bingo.  Works every time for the Ramanidians for eons like a big galactic 403-B plan.  The Kluugs remain the Ramanidian's untried last resort which has never been necessary.  According to Dorborski the highly efficient Kluugs are engineered to move the human population to the top of the gaseous CO2 production line if and when they fail to fulfill their primary mission," said Dorborski. 
     "Everything associated with humans on earth... life, death, marriage, births, education,  culture and arts, taxes, root canals, hair coloring, Men in Black movies, pedicures, pimple popping, pimp pooping, hat blocking, hammock making, baptisms, culinary colleges, war, rumors of wars, extreme fighting championships, Super Bowls, jazz, rock n'roll, flossing, Presidential elections, economic summits,  you name it, are all just silly side shows providing the backdrop to the primary human function of CO2 production for the Ramanidians," Dorborski added.
      "This means, of course, that John D. Rockefeller, JP Morgan, Exxon, Enron, Texaco, Pemex, Shell, BP, John Paul Getty or Armand Hammer are wonderful servants of humanity preventing a premature derailment of our mission by comet or Kluugs.  As Jesus said "I came not to be served, but to serve," so these giants of CO2 greenhouse gas production stand at the head of the class in speeding us to our manifest destiny.  'Go West young man?'  No. Go down.  Deep down.  Drill here, there, everywhere and suck it up ASAP and convert it to CO2.   Move!"