Monsour Arbabsiar: "Think of Me As A Brown Eyed Oliver Cromwell"

Iranian Agent Plans Attack On Saudi Royal's 'Boot Polisher'

by Winsip Custer CPW News Service

     If  the U.S. were looking for a better reason for a military engagement in Iran, news of Monsour Arbabsiar’s plot to kill the Saudi Arabian Ambassador to the U.S. could not be more fortuitous.  With business ties along the U.S. porous Southern border with Mexico, it is reported that Monsour Arbabsiar had developed connections with leaders of a Mexican drug cartel and that he was motivated by money provided by Iranian operatives.

     “I don’t know what to believe about all this,” said Joseph B. Miller of the citizen watchdog group and weekend motorcycle riding and beer drinking assembly, Rotten Wilders, in Spokane, Washington.  “Okay, so we have long known, since what, 1984 when Cartwright wrote Dirty Dealing: An American Parable, that there are lined up along the Mexican border with the U.S. Middle Eastern families that fit into  the dark skinned population and smuggle drugs and weapons from places like  Juarez across the border from El Paso, but Operation Fast and Furious was going in the other direction by our own people...or so they report on Fox News. But Lee and Jimmy Chagra are a case in point of the Middle Eastern bad guys coming this way.  Their Syrian/Lebanese family looked Mexican, but weren't.  So if an Iranian was going to knock out the Saudi Ambassador and wanted to stage it from anywhere it would most likely be from that region.  This is a good reason why Fort Sandibrown makes such an impressive solution to the nation’s Homeland Security Department’s dilemma,” said Miller.

Gary Cartwright's 1984 book Dirty Dealing
about the Chagra brothers,
Middle Eastern gun and drug dealers
from Juarez, Mexico and murders of
a U.S. Federal District Judge

    Fort Sandibrown is a projected twenty foot wide military zone that runs from Brownsville, Texas to San Diego, California as a solution to the border fence problem.  Additionally, Rev. Rufus B. Bornswissler, of the Committee to Reconcile Sunnis and Shiites, says that his organization is working to effect the reconciliation of Sunni and Shiite Muslims with each other and with Catholics and Protestants.  “If Catholics and Protestants can get along there’s no reason why the Saudis who are Sunni and the Shiites who are Iranian cannot do the same," said Bornswissler a Baptist married to a former Catholic Nun.  "My Mary Martha brought into our marriage an obsessive complusive need to clean everything augmented by a deeply contemplative personality after the kitchen floors were sparkling.  With our seven kids everyone though I was a carless Baptist, until they found out that Mary Martha was Catholic.  After twelve years in the convent....well, you can understand.  It may mean that the Saudi Royal family will have to go, which will likely make the Bush family a bit defensive, but hey, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin and the rest didn’t accept royal families either.   George Washington said something like 'they can kiss my un-royal bottom, sir,' and if you think the Founding Fathers were resistant to the idea of licking a king’s boots you should have seen Oliver Cromwell.  What’s good for the goose is good for the gander...especially if the goose is a cross-dresser,” said Bornswissler who had heard that Arbabsiar had made a reference to Cromwell.

     Sources close to Arbabsiar reported that he said “if the CIA can effect regime change with the derailing of a democracy and placement of those damned genetically inbred royals like the Shah of Iran.....you know, the one like George Bush who was born with a silver foot in his mouth, why are people upset with me?  I did not plan on doin’ nothin’ that John Foster Dulles and his family would not do.” Arbabsiar is reported to have mumbled this and other statements prior to his arrest.
     Rev. Bornswissler referred us to  Steve Kinser’s assessment of U.S. and Iranian relations as  background to understanding this recent development in its historical context.  "I would have thought that Arbabsiar would have targeted the historic home of Kermit Roosevelt or Winston Churchill's home in England, but his fellow Muslim?" said Bornswissler again referencing Kinser's presentation and the need for oil independence for the whole world.  Bornswissler also recommended the witness of Sibel Edmonds, an Iranian-American FBI translator who was terminated from the FBI, but recognized by numerous First Amendment advocacy groups for her outspoken criticism of the FBI restriction on freedom of speech as it has been increasingly attacked in a post 911 world.
     Bornswissler said that he was afraid that as oppressive as the current Iranian government is, that it's not as bad as the former Shah of Iran's secret torture boutiques nor the Saudi Royal family's  "nice little 'Renditioning Resorts'".  "Remember that Iraq's Grand Mufti was Hitler's man in the Middle East and we backed Saddam Hussein in Iraq's war against Iran. Iran was on track to be a democracy in the Middle East....perhaps the only one ever...unless Egypt comes through as I hope it will. If Saddam had beaten Iran would Israel have been safer?  Saddam, you will remember shot missles into Israel from his back porch.  Granted,  democracy is no guarantee of lucidity and lunacy is often the crowning accomplishment of some democracies...look at the U.S. Congress and Senate, but what's the option?  Longshanks? It's hard to know who to believe about anything anymore ever since Pat Tillman, Theodore Westhusing, Valerie Plame and all of that," said Bornswissler.  "If I weren't a religious man I say that this whole thing has the appearance of one great big cluster fxxx.  Oops.  Did I say that?" said Rev. Bornswissler.