Average American Home Has 15,000 Items
by Winsip Custer CPW News Service
If you died today in the typical American home you'd be surrounded by 15,000 items. Trinkets. Gizmos. What-nots. Do-Dads. What-cha-ma-call-its. That's roughly double the number of pieces of individual parts in a totally disassembled and meticulously engineered car. Fed up with the maintenance on these dust collecting items, people are beginning to downsize. Take Gilmer Wizzleburger of Spokane, Washington, whose wife filed for divorce after he burned three hundred pounds of family photo albums after downloading all 1553 photos onto his wife's laptop while backing them up on Carbonite. "Who needed the albums anymore?" asked Gilmer.
Gilmer Wizzleburger of Spokane, Washington returning to the simple life with Swiss Army Kitchen Komando |
"That stands for 1000 items and a simpler life style," said Wizzleburger who has created a software program for helping their members reach the 1000 mark. He has been offered a contract with a computer software company that believes that it can market the product for just under twenty dollars while automatically linking the photos of the items to Craigslist and Ebay. That potentially lucrative contract has become the main object in the Wizzleburger's disputed divorce settlement. Mildred Wizzleburger claims that since the majority of the items that prompted Gilmer's idea were hers, that Gilmer should only get 1/15th of the contract's value.
"That witch can have it all," said Gilmer who is reportedly working on a new patented invention for the kitchen. Called the Swiss Army Kitchen Komando, the tool promises to be the only utensil a kitchen needs besides pots, pans, glasses, cups, saucers and silverware. It contains a strainer, spatula, butcher knife, corkscrew, potato masher, carrot peeler, knife sharpener that can be used on its own butcher knife, reusable coffee filter, lime juicer and twenty-five other indispensable kitchen tools. "It smaller than you'd think and can fit nicely into my Harley Davidson saddlebag," said Wizzleburger.
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